


Finally

by sharkinterviewee



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: A little bit of everything, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Jamy, Love, Peraltiago, Real Life, Romance, friends - Freeform, life - Freeform, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 63,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4547292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkinterviewee/pseuds/sharkinterviewee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fic begins near the ending of the season 2 finale. Jake and Amy navigate being in a relationship and working together. And trying to keep it all under wraps from their colleagues and their captain. Especially their captain. Full of Jamy. Peraltiago. Saralta. Pantiago. And any other way you can mix up their names.</p>
<p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jake and Amy

**Author's Note:**

> Little introduction: Begins near the ending of season 2 finale. 2 Undercover kisses have happened, the 3rd one hasn't. And captain Holt's not leaving. I mean, come on! He has to come back, right? He better come back by the third episode of season 3, or I just don't know what I'll do.
> 
> I'm actually sure you'll know exactly where this picks off.

 

"You're under arrest! This is a work event!" Jake shouted. The buyer dropped to his knees and everything was silent for a moment. For the first time in his life Jake froze. Luckily they weren't in danger as the perp had already surrendered and both he and Santiago had their guns trained on him, but Jake's legs were glued to the spot. Did this count as freezing? It was a term used often enough in the force, but he knew that his state was not brought on by anything police related. Well, technically police related. In the fact that his partner had just kissed him for the second time that night out of no where. He had never hesitated any moment in his life, in personal or work matters. Especially never when a girl kissed him. But this was Amy, not just some girl.

"Jake, I've got your back," Amy said, motioning with her gun to the buyer who was still very much on his knees, and both him and his partner were giving Jake looks. Her prompting gave Jake enough motivation to unlock his knees and walk towards the buyer. He read him his rights and slapped the cuffs on his wrist, keenly aware of Santiago's eyes on him. Of course she was looking at him. She had to make sure the buyer didn't try something. But Jake was sure that her eyes were trained on him, not the buyer. He hauled the perp up and put him in their police car in silence.

In the whole ride back to the precinct, Amy didn't utter a word. Neither did Jake. He needed to think some things out.

Sure, he kissed her first that night, but the second kiss changed things. Or maybe he was just now processing the first kiss too. In the restaurant he hadn't even decided to do it, but he did. He could tell himself all he wanted that it was just a work thing, but it would just be lying. After he kissed her in the restaurant he was sure it would never happen again. So when it did, that night, it had really shocked him. And Amy had initiated it. He knew she was serious about being a cop, but would she really have kissed him just because the buyer was looking suspicious? He supposed she might, but he wasn't completely convinced.

They had pulled up to the precinct before he knew it. Jake was sure that all of this thinking was no good. He wasn't an analyzer. He just made gut decisions. But he knew he couldn't do that, wouldn't let himself do that with Amy. He wouldn't let himself ruin it with her. He walked into the precinct with the inner monologue in his head.

Jake and Amy both got the proper forms that they needed to individually fill out and went back to their separate desks. He glanced up at his partner every so often to see her writing calm as usual. He, meanwhile, had to go back up for 3 separate forms because he made even more mistakes than usual.

"Everything alright?" Boyle asked, giving him a knowing look that Jake absolutely despised at that moment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Jake brushed him off. He hated how conflicted he was over this. He was supposed to be calm, cool, disarmingly funny, maybe even charming. Not this. Not... in love. He supposed he could admit him to himself. Jake Peralta was in love. In stupid, stupid love, with his partner and he didn't know how she felt. Amy was usually easy to read, extremely so, but not tonight. In the glances he stole at her, she seemed calm as ever, completely unaffected. He was sure he'd go crazy if he spent too much time dwelling on it.

Suddenly, when he had looked up for about the 40th time, Amy was gone. Her jacket was still there, so she hadn't gone home for the night, but her desk was very absent. He waited ten minutes (on the dot) before he decided enough time had past for him to go looking for her. And he knew the one place she'd be.

She was standing in the file room looking at the floor until he walked in. She started to greet him, but he interrupted her.

"Can I kiss you?" Jake asked. He thought he might as well get it out of the way first before he lost his nerve. There was a slight look of surprise on Santiago's face, but nothing else to give away what she was thinking.

"Johnny didn't ask to kiss Dora," she smiled wryly. Her eyes were still locked on his, an intensity in her gaze he hadn't seen before.

"Yeah, but this time it'll be Jake kissing Amy," he paused, leaving her room to respond. When she didn't, he took a deep breath in and asked again. "So can I?"

Amy watched him carefully, then gave an ever so slight nod, so he went for it before she could change her mind.

Their lips melded together and he took it slow, which seemed to surprise both her and himself. His hands lifted to hold her face in the softest way he could manage. It was actually Amy who brought up the pace and deepened the kiss, biting and licking his lips until he opened them so their tongues could mingle. She curled her hands up in his hair and pressed into him with everything she had.

They broke away when their lungs were both screaming for oxygen. Jake still wasn't sure if this was the same to Amy as it was to him.

"Can we keep doing this?" he asked.

"We're gonna have to sign out eventually, and people will notice if we've both been gone too long." Amy definitely didn't get what he was asking.

"No. I mean, us. Jake and Amy. Together." He felt nervous energy in his chest, like he was a kid again asking someone to be his valentine for the first time. But he didn't care anymore. Because Amy smiled.

"I'd like that."

* * *


	2. Nothing

Jake left the file room as inconspicuously as he could manage. Since they agreed that Amy should wait a few minutes to exit after him, she wasn't sure how good his acting was. She was glad to have some time alone to think. And to take some deep breaths. Some very deep breaths.

She had just agreed to be with Jake. She didn't even know what to call it. Were they dating now? Going out? Was he her boyfriend? It seemed like such a juvenile term to her at the moment for no good reason. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and her stomach was doing flips. The good kind.

She had no idea how this was going to work. She had just said yes without thinking about it. And she didn't regret it at all. That fact may have scared her a little, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. She just decided to enjoy the moment when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

_Jake_

U ok? Its been 20 minutes. I think thats long enough

His second message was entirely comprised of the emojis of a barber shop pole, a whale, a CD, and a hamster's face. She had no clue what it meant, if it meant anything at all. Still Amy had to smile.

She had no idea it had been that long, having been so caught up in her thoughts. She straightened herself out, brushed down her hair, and tried to put her most neutral face on.

She walked out of the file room, careful to make sure her pace wasn't to fast or slow. She could feel Jake's eyes on her, so she gave him a slight smile as she sat down.

Every couple of minutes they both checked the time, whether on their phones, computers, or the wall clock above the break room door. Since it was Friday, they both got off at 6:00, and the time couldn't pass fast enough. 15 minutes... 10... 5. The moment the minute hand struck the hour, they both began packing up, painstakingly slowly so as not to appear overeager. They made it to the elevator and outside in no time at all.

The crisp air outside came as a welcome shock to Amy. Her face was entirely too hot anyways. She wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to make the warmth of her jacket more effective.

"Give me a ride home?" she asked, her head motioning to his god awful car. It really was a complete travesty, but she would be able to stand being one of the girls riding in his car if Jake was the one driving it. He was unusually silent the whole way, not a word making it out of either of their mouths. Jake kept his eyes on the road, but Amy just stared at him. She had never had this much ample time to study him. All the intricacies that made up who he was. Every so often he would glance at her out of the corner of his eye to see if she was still watching. She was unashamed, so she never looked away. She would have been content for him to drive for hours just to give her the chance to look at him, really look at him. She was almost disappointed when he parked outside her apartment building, but he made up for it by walking her to her door.

At least, Jake thought he was walking her to her door, but she pulled him in before he had the chance to do or say anything else. Amy walked to her living room with him following, and sat down on the couch. He stayed standing and looked around, since this was the first time he had really been more than a few steps inside her place. When his eyes landed on her, he noticed the strange look she was giving him.

"I'm being weird, aren't I? I need to stop being weird," he said as if he was scolding himself. Amy wasn't sure if she had ever seen him so nervous in his life. It was a strange sight to behold, but an enjoyable one. She was always the awkward one in their partnership, faltering and fretting over everything she said. So this was new.

"Quick, tell me I'm awesome. I need to let my inner narcissism take control."

She wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but she said it anyway. "Jake, you are awesome." When he didn't respond, she started again "Really, _really_ awesome. Amazing and brilliant and one of the best detectives around."

"The best," he corrected her, and sat down on an armchair diagonal to her. "Fuck, still not working."

"You know, it's okay to be nervous. I'm... a little nervous too." she counseled him. She could hardly believe that she was giving Jake advice on anything confidence related.

"You don't look it," he stated, eyeing her. His leg was bouncing up and down and his fingers tapping the arms of the chair.

"I am, I'm just better at hiding it. And what exactly is all of this? You're Jake Peralta. Nothing makes you nervous."

"You're not nothing," he replied honestly.

She walked over to him and leaned against the side of the chair. "I have never seen you fumble like this. Is this how you feel all the time watching me bumble around?" It was more of meant to be a joke, but he answered anyway.

"If you feel like I'm cute and gorgeous and have the most kissable lips, then yes, that is how I feel all the time."

She had to admit that that is what she was feeling, and it pleased her beyond measure to know that he felt that way when he looked at her.

"This is too good to miss! I am going to be so upset when you leave this stage. I'm gonna miss nervous Jake. I'm taking a mental picture right now, you squirming, and I'm gonna treasure it always." She then leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

When they connected, he instantly went still. His legs stopped bouncing, his fingers stopped drumming, and it felt as if the world stopped with him. The entirety of existence was just Santiago's lips on his.

He stood up beside her and guided her to a seated position of the couch, trapping her under him. She opened her mouth to him, his tongue joining hers to dance. She reached a hand up to run through his hair while her other traveled up his chest to grip his shirt in an effort to bring him closer. He traveled his lips across her jaw and down her neck, sucking and nipping and licking.

"See," she breathed. "Nothing to be nervous about. Don't know what you," she paused and swallowed loudly. "Were so nervous about in the first place."

He removed his lips from her neck for a moment. "I usually screw everything up," and he nipped her, making her let out a cross between a moan and a yelp. "At least the important stuff," he murmured against her skin. He kissed along back to her jaw, and she was desperate for his lips to rejoin hers. But he was taking his tortuous time. "No," he mused, "pretty much everything." She pulled his lips onto hers, tired of his entirely too slow pace. "I'm just," he paused between kissing and whispering against her lips to finish his thought. "Mistake," another pause "After mistake."

When his statement hit her, she pulled back with wide eyes. He was surprised, unsure if and what he did wrong.

"Mistake after mistake! Title of your sex tape!" Amy nearly shouted. It took Jake a second to realize that he hadn't, in fact, done anything wrong, and he looked relieved.

"I am genuinely impressed that you used that insult right. This is my impressed face." He pointed, as if she needed any help knowing where his face was.

"I thought that was your 'Amy Santiago is cute and gorgeous and has the most kissable lips face," she smirked.

"You thought that was about you? No, I was talking about myself. Everyday I think 'Jake Peralta, you are so cute and so gorgeous and have the absolute most kissable lips.' It's a real confidence booster. You should try it sometime." She just presented him with the perfect opportunity to tease her, so of course he had to go for it.

She gave him a look that very clearly told him to shut up and kiss her right now, so he did.


	3. Breakfast

Amy awoke to a warmth by her side that she curled into without thinking. She opened her eyes to see Jake beside her, fast asleep. He had one arm bent above his head, while his other was at his side which Amy had wrapped herself around, entwining her fingers with his. It was... nice. Nicer than she would have thought if anyone would have described the situation to her before hand. She watched the steady rise and fall of his chest like it was the most important thing she had ever seen.

She always thought at the back of her mind that all of his bragging of his sexual conquests may have been compensating. Clearly, from their experience last night, she was dead wrong. God, was he good.

If it was anyone else Amy may have considered laying in bed till her partner woke up, but knowing Jake like she did, she was sure she would be lying there for hours.

It was 8:30 am, an actually late time for her to get up, considering her average. She decided to let Jake sleep in as she slipped out of bed and got dressed. Amy turned off her alarm for good measure, even though she knew he was as good as dead to the world.

Everyone at the precinct knew how hard Jake was to wake up. If the two of them were ever called in late to cover a shift, or for a development in a case that couldn't wait until morning, she would have to go over to his apartment and bang on the door until he woke up. No matter how high he had the volume set to, and no matter how many times you called, his cell phone just wasn't able to bring him out of sleep.

Amy made herself breakfast and coffee to occupy herself until he got up, but even that didn't take enough time, so she alternated between watching TV and reading until she heard him rustle around in her bedroom.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," she said when she saw him.

Jake walked into her kitchen without a word and poured himself a cup of coffee, already knowing where everything was located in her kitchen. He opened her fridge door and gagged. "Why is everything you eat so healthy?" He asked as if it were her one vice. "Seriously, though. Don't you have anything good to eat? Something with unnatural sugar? High fructose corn syrup?"

Amy tried to think of something that he might actually eat. "I have pancake mix," she offered. He began to nod, but stopped.

"Wait, syrup?"

"No, I use honey."

Jake groaned at that. "C'mon." he motioned. "We're going out."

* * *

He took her to an IHOP that was a good 30 minutes out of Brooklyn, which they both knew was a good idea without even discussing it. He ordered enough food for the both of them, while she got some toast and eggs. When his pancakes came, he slathered them in butter and drowned them in syrup.

"Y'know, we have a bet in the precinct on when you're gonna get your first heart attack."

"I know. I have 50 bucks on by my 35th birthday." he grinned at her. He took his first bite and moaned like it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

"So, we're keeping this a secret?" he asked in between mouthfuls.

"I don't want to be assigned a new partner. Do you?" She didn't really need to ask him, since she knew what his answer would be.

He shook his head, as she expected. He then leaned closer to her conspiratorially.

"We need code names then. I can be Donny, and you can be Jora. Or Hora," he said, dropping the hard J.

"We don't need code names." Jake was so enthralled at getting to go undercover again, sort of, that it was hard to argue with him. But she knew that making all of this up was unnecessary, and eventually one of them would slip up if they played pretend.

"Uh, yeah, we do. We work with detectives. Gina and Charles are bonafide snoops. I wouldn't cross Terry off my list either. You know what? I think the only person above suspicion is Rosa. She wouldn't get involved with anyone's life even if you paid her. You really want one of our coworkers to be looking through your phone and see a text from me that says 'Hey hottie hot pants' that you didn't immediately tell me off on?" Jake argued. She could see his point, but she didn't want to admit it.

"Those are stupid code names," She pouted. He waited for her to suggest some better ones.

"They need to be normal names. I don't know, like... Mark... and... Samantha. Something normal." From the look he was giving her, it was clear he didn't like those names. "You can be dating Mark, like an investment banker or something. But I will be dating Carmen, a failed super model who is going back to school to get a degree in environmental science."

"Oh, I will. And Mark will be a thousand times more successful than you. He'll be charming and nice and sweet. Don't forget rich too," she added, and smiled at his grimace. But she had more pressing concerns than teasing Jake.

"Is that what this is?" Amy asked. "Dating? Girlfriend and boyfriend dating?"

Jake considered her question. "If you want." Amy didn't respond to that, unsure of how she would come off if she expressed how she felt. She was never one for big romantic displays, even though this hardly counted as one. But Jake seemed to sense her hesitation.

"I want that," he confessed. He watched her carefully, and she knew she had to say something.

"Good. I... I want that too." Her face heated up under his gaze, and she looked down at the table. When she had the courage too look back up at him, he had the goofiest smile on his face that she had ever seen.

"Good," he said, mimicking her. She kicked him under the table, then wrapped her legs around his. He took the opportunity to fling syrup at her off of his fork.

"Aw, Jake, gross! Now I'm gonna be all sticky!" she admonished him.

"Nothing wrong with that."


	4. Awfully chipper

They decided that Amy should start dating 'Mark' immediately, and that Jake would wait a week or two to meet 'Carmen' because it would be suspicious if they started dating someone at the same time. Jake was chosen to go second because he had more undercover experience, and could probably hide it better. Amy wanted to argue that she would be fine pretending she was still single, but she couldn't kid herself. She was never able to hide being happy, and being with Jake made her very, very happy.

"So I've been told that I'm pretty obvious when it comes to you, so I think I need to practice my grimaces for when you mention you new boyfriend," Jake said, then scowled like a pro, soon breaking character to hear Amy's praise. He looked more than a little like a puppy dog.

"I don't know. Maybe you need to try harder," she egged him on, and this time he exaggerated his frown so much so that he looked like a clown without makeup. "Fine! It was pretty good," she admitted, and he smiled in a way that gave Amy an almost uncontrollable urge to pat him on the head and say 'good boy'. She resisted purely for his benefit.

* * *

Amy arrived at the precinct early as usual, humming (which was a tad unusual). She was excited about their little 'undercover op', but she knew she had to wait until someone asked her, because normally there would be no way she would volunteer that type of personal information. She was anxious to test herself out and see if the lie was believable, but she also had to act like she was trying to hide her new relationship status. The only other person in the precinct was the captain, but he didn't leave his office once, so she resigned herself to waiting for her other coworkers get to work and notice something.

Most everyone had filtered in by 8:30, other than her partner, who was always late. Amy was a little disappointed that no one mentioned anything, but that was soon resolved when one of her coworkers decided they had enough.

"God! Would you stop humming! Some of us have social lives that go beyond seeing Kevin Spacey's face on Netflix!" Gina screamed. She was sporting sunglasses as she slumped over her desk with a bottle of advil next to her water, trying to soothe an apparent hangover from her lively 'social life'.

Amy muttered an apology and continued typing away on her computer. She assumed that would be all the attention she got that morning, but found she was wrong when she was ambushed in the break room filling up her cup of coffee.

Terry, Charles, and Rosa cornered her, while Gina sat collapsed in a chair at one of the tables.

"Whats with you?" Rosa asked. "You're... _happy_." She made a face of disgust making it seem like Amy being happy was a bad thing.

"What? I'm always happy." Amy made a point to continue pouring her coffee, then tried to step by the group, but they stepped with her, blocking her exit.

"Not this happy," Terry backed Rosa up. "Did something happen? Is it good news?"

Amy didn't respond, but apparently Gina thought the entire conversation was going on too long, because she grumbled in. "Isn't it obvious? She's found another poor, boring soul to trap in her little perfectionist talons. Give it up, Amy. Who's the _lucky_ guy?" Gina drew out the word lucky, as if her sarcasm wasn't already apparent.

The whole group pipped up, immediately agreeing with her observation.

"Do we know him?" Boyle asked as if he already knew the answer. He looked hopeful. Amy knew he was hoping that the guy would be Jake, and she didn't want to disappoint him, but she also knew that Boyle couldn't keep a secret to save his life. She sighed and relented.

"His name is Mark. We're... dating." Amy tried not to appear over eager to get the information out. When they pressed her for more about him, she gave the story that she and Jake had agreed on. He's a banker, they met last week, but they only really got together on the weekend. She answered the more specific questions vaguely until her coworkers were finally satisfied and lat her pass to get back to her desk.

Jake came in at 9:10, blissfully unaware of the interrogation that had just taken place.

"You're awfully chipper this morning," he noted as he set down his bag at his desk and slipped into his seat. Amy was trying to formulate a proper response to that, but nothing was coming to her, so she didn't say anything. Jake opened his mouth to probably ask another question, but his voice was overtaken.

"She's having sex!" Gina yelled 1000 times louder than necessary. Amy's face turned dark red. Of course Jake already knew, but the whole precinct didn't, at least not until now. She knew even the suspects in the holding cell had heard Gina. Amy wished she could disappear.

"Oh," Jake said. He made his face blank, but his eyes lit up. He strategically leaned on his hand so that it covered his lips, which Amy knew were plastered in a grin. She was gonna kill him the moment they were alone. Over the next few minutes she could see his face twitch ever so often, under what she assumed was his attempt to keep from laughing.

After a couple of minutes, he mimed checking his pockets for his phone, then asked Amy if she had seen it. He made the lousy excuse to check his car for it to get out of the situation. Amy knew it was all a pretense because he just couldn't hold in his laughter any longer. So much for being a great actor.

She expected him to only need a moment to get his giggles out, but he walked back in almost 20 minutes later.

"Left it at home," he told her with cell phone in hand, his voice loud enough that everyone would hear his flimsy story. Charles shot him worried looks, but Jake payed no mind to him.

The rest of the day progressed pretty much the same as always, with Amy and Jake shooting each other secretive glances and covert smiles. Amy noticed that Boyle tried to drag him away for what was probably a heart to heart talk, but Jake refused him each time. Boyle eventually gave up trying.

* * *

When their shift ended, Amy drove home, not even surprised to find Jake leaning against her apartment door with a grin on his face that she hated and loved at the same time.

"You were gone an awfully long time this morning," she mumbled as she let him in.

"Oh my god, that was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen in my life. I bit my tongue until it went numb, but I had to go, just couldn't keep from cracking up. I went to my car and laughed my head off. Every time I stopped, I would start again. Be glad it was only 15 minutes." Jake was laughing again, so hard he was clutching his sides. He stopped when noticed her scowling at him. "Oh, c'mon! That was funny!"

"Was not." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Was too. If you look deep down into your soul, you will find that that moment was truly hilarious." He paused and breathed in mechanically. "You know it to be true," Jake finished in his best Darth Vader impression. He was even adding in the cooh-kaah to imitate the respirator sounds, which ended up sounding nothing like the real thing.

Amy let out a chuckle, then stopped herself. But it was too late, Jake had already heard. So she laughed again, figuring she might as well. "Just to be clear," she clarified, "I am laughing at how stupid you're being. Not this morning. Because that was very unfunny."

Jake eyed her doubtfully.

"Okay, maybe not very unfunny. Just a little unfunny." He raised his eyebrows at her, trying to stare her down for the truth. "Fine! Maybe just a infinitesimally small part of a miniscule amount of the whole situation was a tiny bit funny." Jake had an accomplished look on his face from getting her to admit that.

"But if you bring it up again I am going to pour a smoothie all over the upholstery of your car, so don't even try it." She paused just long enough for him to nod. "Now did you have something to say, or did you just come over here to make fun of me?"

"Just that I hated not being able to kiss you all day," Jake answered.

"Really?" Amy knew she shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. She was expecting him to make another joke, not be all sweet. Her question came out sounding soft and unsure.

"Very much so," he said and closed the gap between their bodies and bridged them together with a kiss. Amy pressed her lips back to his with full force and moved to curl her hands up in his hair before he pulled back.

"Wanna have sex?" He asked. Technically it could've been an not so innocent innocent question, but knowing Jake, he was calling up the events of this morning.

"I hate you," she whispered, dragging his head back down to hers and bringing their mouths together again. Jake hummed in response.


	5. Worst date ever pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little chapter preview: Jake and Amy go on the worst date ever that wasn't finished last time, but original ideas- not the one stated in The Bet.

"Should we go on a date or something?" Jake asked one morning over coffee. It was a bit of an odd question, but Amy was starting to get used to odd when it came to dating Jake. Well, technically they had never really been on a date. Dates were usually what couples did early on in the relationship to get to know each other. But she and her partner knew almost everything there was to know about each other. So when their previously platonic relationship took a sudden turn for romantic, Amy hadn't really even thought about dates.

"Do you want to?" She asked. It was weird getting to see the semi-serious side of him. The side that made her coffee every morning, and bought her chocolate, and watched movies with her. Of course he was still his same old self that couldn't let a joke go, but she had no idea he could be this sweet. Still, she didn't think he could take her on an earnest date if he tried.

"Sure. Any place in mind?" Amy could tell he was trying to be nice again, since he already seemed to have something he wanted to do, but was just being polite. Too bad for him, since she did have something in mind.

"Take me on the worst date of my life that was ruined last time."

He smiled. "Same rules as last time?"

"Sure. But I get to dress you this time too." She conditioned. By his face she could tell he was getting more excited by the moment, the gears already turning inside his head.

"It's a deal," Jake agreed.

"No, it's a bet."

* * *

Jake told her he needed the whole week to plan, since the old date took a while to plan too, and he didn't want to plan the same thing. She gave him until Saturday, which didn't come a moment too soon. The days that lead up to it were filled with taunting that grew increasingly worse as time progressed. When 5 pm came around, neither of them could contain their excitement.

Jake pulled out his outfit first, which seemed rather tame compared to the prom dress he picked out last time. At first all Amy could see was that it was a white T-shirt, but then she got a closer look at it.

"Oh god, it's awful," she told him honestly.

It was in fact a white T-shirt, but it had writing scrawled across it in sharpie with awful penmanship, the words "Speling Bee Champoin" on the front, spelling mistakes and all.

"I know," he said gleefully turning it around to show her the back. In the same awful sharpie were the words "Honer Choir Member" tilted slightly. He hadn't even tried to use a ruler. It was the worst home made shirt she had ever seen, including the one she made all by herself as a kid for school projects. He did worse than 8 year old Amy had. He couldn't have done any worse if he tried.

"Yours is just as embarrassing," Amy said with a smidgen of pride.

"Ha, joke's on you. I can't be embarrassed."

She pulled out the bright yellow rain poncho she had picked out that would go at least to his knees.

"It's not so-" he started to say, but she cut him off before he could dare say the word 'bad'.

She flashed a beaded, purple, velvet vest on over it. "The vest goes on top." She grinned maliciously.

"Do you like it?" Amy asked, play biting her lip.

"It's pretty horrible," he admitted, though he didn't look too upset by it.

"That's what I was going for."

* * *

Despite all her pleadings, Jake still wouldn't tell her what he had planned. He kept calling it a surprise, but it seemed to her more like a trap. And he insisted on her wearing her swimsuit underneath her clothes without giving her a reason. She just hoped he wasn't planning on spraying her with a hose. Oh god, he was, wasn't he? Amy was starting to think that maybe giving him free reign was a bad idea, but it was too late for that now.

The drive to their first stop ("attraction" he kept calling it, like they were on a tour or something) was killing her. She wondered if he was going to take her out of the city, or to an awful event center, or even some place actually nice. It was extremely anti-climatic when Jake pulled up outside the 24 hour laundromat. He led her in and opened the door for her with a flourish. He hopped up on a dryer and patted the one next to him. Amy tried to peer over the rows of washers to see if there was anything he had hidden that would pop out, or ambush her, but she didn't see anything. She walked once around the perimeter to check if there was anything secret about the place, but by all accounts, it was just a normal laundromat.

"Nothing's hidden," he said as if he was expecting her reaction. "Now come sit with me."

Amy eyed him warily but followed his instructions and sat on the dryer beside him. She hadn't even noticed he brought a bag until he started pulling out snacks from them. Not really snacks, though. Chocolate chips, graham crackers, and marshmallows. The ingredients for s'mores. But they couldn't exactly light a fire inside the laundromat. Then he pulled out matches and a candle. It all seemed nonsensical to her until she caught up to his train of thought.

"Are you planning on roasting marshmallows over a candle?"

"Yes, _we_ are. Might take a while. Never tried it before." He skewered two marshmallows on metal sticks and gave one to her. Always the gentleman, he let her use the impossibly small flame on hers first.

Before they could really get to talking, a man came in and began picking up his clothes while giving them dirty looks. Amy was surprised that people actually used the place that late a night, but she supposed it was 24 hours for a reason. It was all she and Jake could do to keep from snickering every time the man looked at them. They just acted like nothing was wrong and it was the most normal thing for two people to light a candle in a laundromat with marshmallows to boot. The man's interruption was thankfully over as soon as he left.

"I know you refused the relief team that night. On the worst date I was supposed to experience," Amy began. She had been dying to ask him about it for a while, but now seemed like as good a moment as any.

"Oh," he said, and nothing more. No explanation at all. He seemed intent on watching her marshmallow that was just beginning to turn brown on one side.

"Why'd you do it?" she asked. She couldn't figure out why. She learned he had done it a while ago, but she could never come up with a proper motivation. Even if he liked her back then, she still didn't see a reason for him to do it.

"I don't remember." It was probably the worst excuse he could come up with, and Amy knew it. She waved her stick at him lazily.

"Liar. Tell me."

"I dunno. I mean, it was nice, being all serious and junk with you. Like real and... happy. I didn't want to ruin it for a stupid joke."

Before she could respond and tell him she liked it too, or that he was being sweet, or anything he grabbed her hand. "C'mon. This is taking too long. On to the next attraction."


	6. Worst date ever pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date conclusion

Amy couldn't believe it, but he actually wanted her to wear a blindfold when he took her to the next place. And she agreed. He promised it was the last place, just the laundromat and here. Wherever here was. She couldn't really tell how long he drove since she couldn't see the time, but the anticipation was killing her. She guessed maybe half an hour, so a bit away from the city. When he parked he still wouldn't let her take the blindfold off, and lead her up a curb and over some grass. He opened some kind of creaky door or gate and closed it behind her.

"Seriously, Jake. Where are we? I'm gonna take this off if you don't tell me." Amy warned.

"Go ahead."

She untied the blindfold around her head and let it drop to the ground as her eyes adjusted.

They were outside of someone's house, and in their backyard that had an in ground pool in it. The water was completely still, while trees and bushes were almost touching the surface, but not quite. It was absolutely breathtaking in the moonlight. After she got over her initial shock, Amy began to get suspicious.

"Whose house is this?" She knew where Jake's apartment was, and this was outside of someone's freaking house. She didn't know if he had friends with pools, but she seriously doubted it.

"I don't know," he grinned. She felt like hitting him.

"Are you serious? Are we trespassing? We're trespassing, aren't we?" She hissed at him, lowering her voice so they wouldn't be caught.

"Kidding! One of my aunt's who's on vacation. Not a stranger. Don't have permission either though. And if the neighbors do catch us, they will call the police. We won't get in too much trouble, but still, better not get caught." He said all of that as if it was supposed to get her to agree, like that was gonna happen. There was no way she was staying here, even if she knew the homeowner wasn't going to press charges, and she wasn't as convinced of that as Jake.

"We are leaving, right now." She ordered in her no nonsense tone. She had probably made it half way to the gate before he reacted.

"Nu-uh," he said and hoisted her up over his shoulder.

"Jake!" she screamed, momentarily forgetting that they were supposed to be quiet. "Put me down right now," she said much softer tone that was basically whisper yelling. She hadn't realized how far he had walked when she told him to do that.

"Careful what you wish for," Jake taunted, then dropped her in the pool.

She splashed into the water without even time to plug her nose, but it felt better than she expected. The night was warm, and the water was cool, but the good kind of cool. She came up for air ready to lay into him, but he wasn't standing on the edge of the pool like she expected. She turned around to see him land behind her with a splash that was way too loud.

"You are crazy!" She told him when his head appeared above the water, still using her whisper voice.

"Probably. Where are you going?" Jake asked as she swam to the other side of the pool towards some steps.

"I am leaving. You are too." There was no way she was staying. Did she have to say the word trespassing again? It was against the law.

"I'll scream," he threatened.

This stopped her in her tracks. She turned around and narrowed her eyes at him. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I, though?" Jake said, clearly a rhetorical question. A moment later he took a deep breath in an opened his mouth wide to show he was capable of carrying out his threat. Amy wasn't sure believed he would actually do it, but she also didn't want to risk getting caught.

"10 minutes. I'll stay for 10 minutes. Then we are leaving."

"15," he tried to bargain, but she wasn't having any of it. "14. 13. 11. 13." He sighed, realizing it was hopeless. "Fine, 10."

Amy reluctantly swam back towards the middle of the pool at his beckoning motion, but still a couple feet away from him. Now that she had more or less agreed to stay, she noticed the adrenaline she had rushing through her. It almost made her giddy. She was still very mad at her boy friend, but she also began to smile too, even though she tried not to. It was easy to tell that Jake enjoyed being a corrupting influence.

"What do we say if we get caught?" She asked, hoping to get their stories straight. Jake had removed his poncho/vest combo to reveal the swim trunks he had been wearing the whole time. Amy took off her shorts since they were only weighing her down, but kept her stupid sharpie shirt on.

"Just pretend we're drunk," Jake answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But it was only obvious to him since he had apparently done more stupid stuff like it in the past to be as comfortable as he was at that moment.

"I've never pretended that I'm drunk. What if I'm no good?" She could probably have figured out how to be semi-convincing eventually, but if someone was to catch them two minutes later, she wanted a few pointers.

"It's easy. Just slur half your words and giggle a bit. And stumble every fourth step. It's a great tactic for getting out of stuff. I use it all the time on the phone to tell someone off without sounding like a total dick. Well, minus the stepping part. It's always good to bump into something when you're on the phone." Jake seemed to have made an art of this, or at least had it down to a science. He could probably give a seminar on all of his tips. Hell, he probably would. Amy knew he would.

"Have you ever called me pretending to be drunk?" She asked. She tried to slip it in there without sounding too serious so he would actually tell her the truth.

"God no. I've never even called you when I was actually drunk. I went through a whole lot of trouble not to. I seriously would write down your number on a piece of paper and delete it from my phone every time I planned on getting wasted. That of course only worked until I memorized it from writing it down so much. So I had to work out something else like limiting my access to said phone, which helped cut down on my non-you related drunk dialing too." Jake seemed to be done with his rambling, but Amy was still left with the question on her lips of why he went through all that trouble.

"Why?"

He answered without a beat. "I love you. I definitely didn't want to tell you that at the time, especially not drunk, so-"

"What?" Amy interrupted him. He didn't even seem to realize that he had just told her he loved her for the first time. Just blew right through it. She hadn't even told him that yet.

Jake looked a bit confused, then replayed what he just said in his head to see what she was stuck on. "Oh, that," he said when he landed on it. Amy was half afraid he was going to take it back. "Do I need to say it again?" He asked softly.

Amy tried to nod, but she wasn't sure if she succeeded. He took it as a yes anyway, and began yelling.

"I love Amy San-!"

"Shhhh! You're gonna wake the whole neighborhood! I get it," she told him. "And I-"

But he interrupted her interrupting him.

"You don't need to say it back."

That made her take a step back and really look at what was happening.

Jake was treading water a few feet from her, wet hair plastered on his forehead with droplets trailing down his face. The water rippled around him and the moonlight reflected off of the surface to dance on his face. His smile was just that, a smile. He wasn't waiting for her to say something. He wasn't expecting anything from her. He didn't need for her to confess her feelings, and he wouldn't be mad if she was just silent. He didn't want anything from her, just to be with her. It was such a relief to not have any expectations. He was just accepting, and smiling because he wanted her to smile too. It was perfect. The moment was perfect. He was perfect.

"I know," she told him. "I want to. I love you."

She made her way over to him, and kinda hung onto him since it was too deep for her to stand.

"What?" Amy asked when he started chuckling.

"You paddle like a dog," he observed.

"I'll flick you on the nose like a dog." She sighed. "Great, now you ruined the moment."

"Oh no!" Jake gasped. "Can't have that! We should bring it back."

He wrapped his arms around her in a move that Amy was sure meant he was gonna dunk her. She took a deep breath and went to plug her nose until she felt his lips on her ears. He began to tell her those three words over and over and over, his whispers ghosting over her skin in a way that made her shiver. When she was sure it was at least the 100th time he told her he loved her, he stopped and looked up at the sky. She maneuvered until her head was more against his shoulder so they could both watch the stars.

"I think it's been a bit more than 10 minutes," he said, while they both knew it had been far longer that that. The moon had taken its place on the other side of the sky.

"I don't see a timer around here. Doesn't seem like another 10 would hurt." Amy didn't want the night to end, and at that moment, it didn't need to. She still had a couple hours left on the best date of her life. There was still time until sunrise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot get enough of sweet Jake, so hopefully this fic isn't over-saturated with it. I just can't stop writing fluff (semi-fluff? I don't know if this would be considered hard core fluff. Real deal fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff. I think this maybe qualifies as 2% fluff. Fat free, skim fluff).


	7. Figure it out

This was the third stakeout they had been on since they got together. It was also the third stakeout that devolved into a make out session within 10 minutes, but neither of them minded much.

Amy chanced a glance out the windshield and remembered that they were actually here to do a job, not just screw off. Jake's hands were holding her face and it was beyond wonderful, but she had to hit him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"What?" he asked, sounding slightly annoyed when she pulled back.

"I think I just saw our guy walk up," she pointed across the street at two buildings. She cursed herself for not looking longer, because she actually wasn't sure which building he went into. One of them, she was pretty sure. She and her partner took a moment to gather themselves, then made their way to the entrances of the buildings.

"Split up?" Jake suggested, and she nodded. Both of the buildings next to each other had unlocked doors, so they weren't able to rule either of them out. He took the one on the right, and she had the left one to contend with.

* * *

Jake eased open the door and entered with his gun drawn. He pulled out his flashlight and swung it around the room to check for any movement. The area was set up more or less like a factory floor plan, with the only real hiding places existing behind some boxes strewn across the area, though there were a few doors that lead off to other hallways. He stalked the ground, making steady soft steps, looking over his shoulder every few feet. He zeroed in on every little sound he heard, but they all turned out to be false alarms. When he cleared the area, it took him a moment to realize what that meant.

The guy wasn't there. And that meant he was in the other building. With Amy. And he had sent her in alone.

Jake rushed from his spot to slip out and into the building next door, hoping to immediately find his partner and have her be alright. When he scanned the room with his light, he didn't see anything that even remotely looked like a person.

"Amy!" he hissed, hoping she would be able to hear him but the suspect wouldn't. He received no answer.

He sidestepped past heavy machinery looking for something, anything. A shadow, a bit of movement, anything to give him a sign of what exactly was going on, what was going to happen. The suspense was killing him. He was about to walk past a hall, but he noticed a glimmer of light at the end. He hoped to god it was Amy's flashlight.

At the other side of the hall was expanse almost as big as the one he just came from. He swung his beam around the room, and sighed with relief when he caught sight of his partner. Then tensed when he caught sight of the perp behind her, with his gun pulled.

"Drop your weapon!" Jake shouted with his gun trained on the suspect. Both Amy and the guy turned towards him, which gave her enough time to turn around and point her firearm at the suspect too.

"Drop it!" Jake ordered again after he didn't obey the instructions the first time. The suspect took a glance at Amy, and knowing that he didn't still have the advantage of surprise, dropped his gun in futility.

* * *

After they arrived back at the station, Jake was unusually quiet. Amy tried to ask if something was wrong, but he just shrugged her off. She was sure something was bothering him, but he wouldn't give her a clue as to what it was. She would catch him looking at her every so often, but he always looked away when she saw him.

"You coming over later?" She asked as they were exiting the precinct at the end of their shift. She had hoped that if they had some time alone together, he would open up to her.

"Nah, I'm pretty tired. Just gonna go home and crash," he told her. She knew he was hiding something then. He was lying to her for some reason. She had half a mind to confront him about it, but she decided it would be best not to press him. Hopefully he just needed some alone time to think, and would be back to normal tomorrow. Hopefully. If he wasn't, she was going to have to cross that bridge when she came to it.

* * *

Of course he wasn't back to normal the next day. Maybe even weirder. He didn't seem to look in her direction at all, unless she addressed him, and then he got out of the conversation as quick as he could. He was seriously... off. Amy tried to figure out what exactly went wrong. He seemed fine yesterday morning, but maybe she just hadn't noticed it yet. She hoped that was it, because the other option was that it was something she did, though she couldn't figure out what.

"Santiago," someone asked from above her. She jumped out of her seat when she realized it was the captain talking to her. She really was distracted today, wasn't she? She gave him her full attention so he could tell her what he needed to.

"I was curious if something negative had happened recently. Your paperwork has been slipping in quality these past few weeks. Is there something I need to know affecting your ability to perform your duties?" Holt seemed as indifferent as usual, but by his words it seemed he actually may have been a bit worried about her.

"No sir. Nothing's wrong. Won't let it happen again, sir." Amy assured him. She hadn't realized that there was any difference in her 'quality' of paperwork. The only reason she could think of was that she wasn't staying after work as late as usual. She actually never stayed later than half an hour anymore, since she started spending her nights with Jake, she always wanted to get home asap so they wouldn't have to pretend anymore. She was sure her reports were still adequate, just not as detailed as they used to be since she wasn't using hours to fulfill her perfectionist desires. She was also sure her paperwork was still 10 times better than Jake's.

She sat back in her desk and was about to give Jake a shrug in a 'what can you do' sort of way, when she saw the odd look he was giving her. She had absolutely no idea what he was thinking, but she was sure it wasn't something good. He didn't try to look away this time, just sort of stared. Almost as if he was gauging her or trying to read her just as hard as she was trying to read him.

Rosa dropped a heavy book on her desk, and they both looked over when they heard it slam on the table. When Amy looked back at Jake, he was again concentrating on his computer. She sighed and tried to brainstorm ways to trap him so she could force a conversation.

* * *

Turns out she didn't have to brainstorm long because Jake sent her a cryptic text.

Need to talk. File room. 10 minutes.

Now she was even more worried. It was extremely out of character for him to send a text without even one emoji. She was in the middle of trying to decipher it when she looked up and realized that Jake had already left when she wasn't paying attention. It was 8 minutes after he sent the text, but it didn't matter if she was a little early.

She entered the file room and noticed that her partner was not in her immediate view. She walked past one of the sets of shelves and saw him leaning against the wall at the end of the section. He had a serious expression on his face, and Amy knew he was going to deliver bad news.

"What's been up with you lately?" She tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but it still came out that way.

"I almost got you killed yesterday," he said severely.

"What are you talking about? You mean out at the stakeout? You didn't do anything wrong." She was pretty sure that was what he was talking about, but she didn't see how he saw anything that happened as his fault. Nothing bad even happened.

"I split us up. I knew he had a previous assault charge with a deadly weapon, and I still let you go in alone," he acted like he was the deciding factor in that tactical decision, which he definitely was not. She had thought it was a good idea too, and if the situations were reversed she would have had the blame if anything happened. Except she would have trusted Jake's decision because they were equals. He didn't have any authority over her. It was more than a little infuriating.

"You're not my boss Jake, you're my partner. You don't get to make all the decisions for me. I chose to do it, so don't think you control me," Amy tried not to go on a tirade, but she couldn't hold back her snappiness. Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Exactly, Amy. I'm your _partner._ I'm supposed to stop you from making stupid decisions, and you're supposed to stop me. But we've been making stupid decisions left and right lately. We need to do something, cause this," he paused and motioned between the two of them, "Isn't working."

Amy began registering his words, but she didn't want to hear them. She got what he was hinting at. She wanted to ask what it would take to keep them together, but she resolved to stay calm. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You mean you... wanna break-"

"That's not what I meant. We just need to figure something out. I'm going to make this work. It's just-" Jake groaned as he slid his back along the wall down to the floor. He looked incredibly stressed, and actually pretty cute. His shirt was a little crumpled at the collar and his hair was even messier than usual because he had run his hand through it so many times. He had that look on his face he got when there was a problem he needed to solve. His thinking face. Amy loved that face. It was the only time he looked anywhere close to vulnerable, because he was focusing solely on the problem at hand, not even bothering to keep up his 'I'm Jake Peralta, the best detective in the world, nothing can stop me' facade. And she knew that when he had that face, it was a sure thing that he was going to solve whatever problem laid before him. She sat on her knees before him and lifted his face to look him in his troubled eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. We'll figure something out. I'm gonna make this work too," she told him softly. That brought a small smile to his face, and he seemed assuaged, if only for the moment.

"Gotta put that big brain of yours to use somehow, huh? Especially since you're not using it for reports," Jake teased, and she was relieved that he was back to joking again. He started to stand up, but Amy pulled him back down. She ignored the confused look on his face.

"Just stay there for a bit."

Jake had no idea what she had planned, and was half afraid she was going to leave, when all he wanted was to be close to her at the moment.

Amy raised herself up on her knees so it was almost like she was towering over him as she kissed him. He actually had to crane his neck up to be able to kiss her properly, but he didn't seem to mind, as all of the tension melted out of him. She laced her fingers behind his neck, moving her lips along his jawline and throat, but she couldn't help smiling when she noticed his heavy breathing. He let out a strangled sound when she nipped at the sweet spot at the base of his throat just above his collarbone.

Just then the heard the door open. "I could've sworn I saw Peralta walk in here," Terry said to himself. He scanned the room and they thanked their lucky stars that they had ended up on the floor. They held their breath silently willing him to not look down, because if he did, he would definitely be able to see them between the shelves. It felt like years went by before he closed the door again, and Amy and Jake both let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Later?" She asked, grinning.

Jake shook his head. "I don't think I can wait."

"Me neither," she agreed, immediately moving to unbutton his shirt in the throes of another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo, drama bomb! Next few chapters are completely angst free, I swear.


	8. Showers, friends, and fake fights

"Jake, get out! I need to take a shower too!" Amy pounded on the door with no reply. "Seriously, you're going to make me late!"

It had been a major miscalculation on her part to let him use the shower first. He always took forever, which had never been a problem before since him showing up late to work just kept up appearances, and certainly continued the illusion that they had not in fact rolled out of the same bed nearly every morning. She usually got to the bathroom first, so it had never been a problem before. But this morning was different. She actually hit the snooze alarm, and somehow Jake managed to get up without the alarm blaring for a good half hour. Leading to this moment.

She was getting ready to bang again when she heard the shower door creak open. She heard his wet footsteps crossing the floor, and she made a mental note to be wary of the puddles he undoubtedly left. She was planning on pushing past him once he unlocked an opened the door, but he had the upper hand of surprise.

He opened the door as he was wet, dripping, and spectacularly naked. She had at least expected a towel, but she realized that was a pretty unrealistic expectation when it came to her boyfriend.

"Why don't you join me?" Jake asked, promptly picking Amy up and slinging her over his shoulder and walking back to the still running shower.

"Jake! Put me down! You're gonna slip and drop me!" She only stopped hitting him on the back when she considered that it probably wasn't doing any good on his balance, making him even more likely to slip. Miraculously, he made it back to the shower without incident.

"I've got you," he told her as he set her down under the flow of hot water. She was far from mad at him, but felt she needed to say something to let him know he was in trouble.

"I'm still in my pajamas, you know," she said, motioning to her now soaked through oversized T shirt and shorts combo.

"I think we can fix that," he responded, helping her slip out of the aforementioned clothes which fell to the floor with a flop. She rolled her eyes in response.

Amy turned from him to let the water fall on her face and to hopefully get a little relaxation in before work. She heard him uncap the shampoo bottle and thought about sidestepping so he could finish his routine before she felt his hands in her hair. It took her a moment to realize that he got the shampoo to lather her up. It was a nice, if odd feeling. Really the only time any one else had washed her hair since she was a child was if she went to a salon to get it cut. So it happening in the shower at the hands of her boyfriend was a new experience.

"You make a habit of washing other people's hair?" she teased.

"It's the least I could do. I did get you all wet."

She couldn't argue with that.

* * *

"Rebound, huh?" Charles asked Jake as he was taking a snack break. He and Amy decided that enough time had passed for him to tell his coworkers about his meeting the amazing and illustrious 'Carmen'. He was positive that's what Boyle was referring to, but he thought it best to just play dumb.

"Rebound from what?" he asked, trying to decide if he wanted the Oreos in B6 today, or the powdered doughnuts in A4. It really was a tough decision, so he didn't bother trying to hide his lengthy deliberation. Charles motioned with his head towards Amy who was standing at the copier back in the main room.

"I don't think it counts as rebound if we were never dating. And I'm fine, you don't need to keep bothering me about this. Amy's dating someone, and so am I. There's no need to worry." Jake made a split decision and pressed D2, waiting for the Goldfish pack to fall off the rung. It was almost there when it got stuck. Jake hit the machine trying to knock it off the last bit of the coil, but with no luck.

"You don't need to pretend with me, Jakey. I know you're hurting. But don't fear, I know you two will get there some day," Charles said in and effort to comfort him.

"Seriously Charles, I'm fine. No need to be concerned. I'm doing better than you think. And I'm... Pretty happy. I'm okay, nothing's wrong, everything's alright. I honestly don't know how many more times I can say it. You've gotta stop asking me because there are only so many ways I can say I'm doing good." Jake was more than a little miffed that he wasted his last dollar, but he knew he shouldn't take it out on Boyle.

He patted him on the back. "Really buddy. Open a dictionary and look up fantastic. In the fine print at the bottom of the entry there will be a little footnote that reads 'see: Jake Paralta'. You might have to flip through a couple hundred pages to find me, but I'll be there, with another footnote that leads back to fantastic. There'll be a lot of other footnotes under my name too. Like best, and amazing, and awesome." He spread his hand out like a banner above his head moving further with each word. "Just to name a few." He led his friend out of the break room and back to his desk, not even noticing the person who passed by them to enter it. Jake was positive he'd have to assure Boyle about a billion more times of how okay he was actually doing, but he knew his friend meant well.

"Yes!" Gina shouted from the break room. "Free Goldfish!"

Jake groaned.

* * *

Amy and Jake decided that the one thing they wouldn't do was go on stakeouts together anymore. It was fine the first few times when they asked to switch things up with Rosa and Charles, but it was starting to draw attention after a while. After three stakeouts pairing Jake with Charles and Rosa with Amy, they were running out of remotely plausible excuses. Really they hadn't had any good excuses to begin with, but they were hoping no one would question it. They really hadn't thought ahead how strange it would seem after a couple of times switching it up. The couple was beginning to realize that it really didn't work as a long term plan.

"What's with you two?" Rosa confronted them after their 5th request to split up. Amy and Jake were in the middle of a completely unrelated conversation and were caught off guard with no response prepared. The were both silent. "Are you guys in a fight?"

"No," Amy said, at the exact same moment that Jake said "Yes." They both looked at each other, but Jake was a little more quick thinking.

"And I'm not going on anymore stakeouts with 'little miss perfect' here until she apologizes," Jake mocked her. Amy followed his lead, realizing it was the smart move. It at least gave them a reasonable explanation with why they weren't cooperating with each other anymore.

" _Sure_!" Amy exclaimed. " _I'm_ the one who needs to apologize! I can't believe you. I'm not going anywhere with you until you admit that you're wrong."

"Well that's never gonna happen, so-"

Rosa interrupted them with an exclamation that certainly wasn't any human language, but let them know exactly how tired of their argument she was.

"You guys are such children! I hate children. Both of you need to grow up. I'm only going to tolerate this for so much longer," she told them, then dragged Amy off by her arm.

Amy stuck her tongue out at Jake over her shoulder, and he returned the favor.


	9. Formal

Amy wasn't so sure about this whole undercover operation. Especially since Gina was her adviser for it. Captain Holt made it clear that it was a beneficial tactical arrangement, since it involved some sort of dance performance that Gina was apparently an Alumni of, but she was still uneasy about it. She really wasn't sure just how likely it was that there was a drug ring going on around a dance show, but the captain made it clear that they needed to check it out. Amy was half convinced that Gina had planted the rumors of the drug ring herself.

At least Jake was coming too. They were posing as Gina's guests, and they were fine going together since they wouldn't be able to goof off with her there. Amy was infinitely more embarrassed when she realized the reality of the situation. Gina, while unbeknownst to her, was their chaperone. Things couldn't get more like high school if they tried.

Especially since Gina was put in charge of Amy's wardrobe. She was trying on all types of weird clothes that were just strewn across her apartment. Amy would walk out of the bathroom every few minutes after struggling into what ever fancy clothes the woman put out for her. Gina actually made her twirl on occasion. It was more than a little humiliating. Amy was about one dress away from giving up and just telling the captain she couldn't handle it when the assistant yelled "Stop!"

Amy froze and looked around, afraid she had ruined something unwittingly.

"It's perfect!" She finally figured out that Gina was talking about what she was wearing. It was a red dress that went down to just above her knees and had straps criss-crossing her shoulders in a style that Amy was sure had a name, but damned if she knew it. She had to admit it was kinda pretty. Even if it did show a little more skin than she was used to.

Amy was in the bathroom applying make up (which she would absolutely _not_ let Gina do for her, no matter how much she insisted) when she heard her phone beep from a text message. She had two eyeliner pencils in one hand and a brush in the other with no empty counter space to set it down, so she said something without thinking.

"Can you check that? It's probably Jake saying he's gonna be half an hour late like always." She didn't realize her mistake until she heard Gina congratulate her from the other room.

"Looks like things are getting pretty hot and heavy between you two, huh?" She punctured her rhetorical question with a meow.

Amy was reminded of the exact last text conversation she and Jake had.

_Jake: what are you wearing_

_Amy: Nothing_

And Gina had just read that. She dropped everything in her hands and ran out to the room and snatched her phone up, as if she could retroactively make the message unreadable. She had no idea what to say, or anything remotely close to a contingency plan.

"What's Mark almost ready for anyway?"

"Huh?" Amy truly had no idea what she was talking about, but Gina motioned to the phone in her hand, and Amy took the time to actually read the message.

_Mark: almost ready_

And the earlier messages read

_Mark: what are you wearing_

_Amy: Nothing_

Amy closed her eyes and sighed in relief. She had thought it was a stupid idea initially, but she never knew she would be so thankful that Jake insisted they change their contact names in each others phones to their 'code names'. So Gina had no reason to think the message was from her partner. They had really dodged a bullet. She came back to her senses when she noticed that Gina was staring at her like she was a freak.

"Um, he has a... presentation at work. I told him I would give him a few pointers." It was a lame excuse, but the only one she could think of off the top of her head.

"Uh-huh," Gina said suspiciously. She took a look at the clock on the stove and went back into over drive. "Hurry up! It starts at 7 pm, and we're gonna be late, and not the good kind of late! If Jake's not here we're gonna be actually late, not just fashionably late. So go finish your whole harpy look!" Gina pushed her back into the bathroom as Amy tried to ignore the insult.

* * *

"Looking snappy!" Jake told her when he saw her. He tried to make it sound like a joke, but Amy was aware of exactly where his eyes were lingering.

"I'm surprised you actually own anything other than your 'business casual' cargo shorts," she used air quotes around the term he incorrectly uses to describe his style. Which, to be fair, he was pretty far away from at the time. He was sporting black slacks and a dark blue button down shirt. It wasn't the fanciest thing she had ever seen, but compared to the usual he was dressed to the nines.

"Ah, this," he said motioning to his ensemble, "Is a little look I like to call formal casual."

"Oh my god no one cares!" Gina said with false enthusiasm as she pushed them towards the car. "I will murder both of you if you blow this for me, and I'll make it look like you killed each other!"

* * *

Since they were taking Gina's car (and she was the only one allowed to drive her 'baby') and Jake called shotgun, Amy was relegated to the back seat. No one was surprised to find that the only songs she allowed to be played in her car were all sung by Beyonce, which she blasted through the speakers.

About 10 minutes into the drive Gina turned the sound down to a reasonable level so she could talk.

"You'd better make your move on Amy fast, cause it seems like Mark is sweeping her off her feet. In a week, she won't even remember your name," she counseled Jake.

"Really?" he asked in a false innocent tone. "What's he like? I haven't heard much about him. Is he devilishly handsome like a certain detective we all know and love?" He was obviously trying to make Amy uncomfortable and put her on the spot, but she knew two could play at that game.

"He is _nothing_ like you," she scoffed. "For one, he's actually sweet. We went swimming, and we roasted marshmallows, and he gives me chocolate, and makes me coffee in the morning, and tells me he appreciates me, and loads of other stuff. When was the last thing you did anything nice for me?" She shot back in her best accusatory tone.

"I do nice things for you all the time! Like..." And he stopped when he realized exactly how evil she was being. All the things she just named were things he actually did, and any other nice things he could think of had no explanation for why he was seeing her after work. She had set him up so he couldn't defend himself. He narrowed his eyes and dragged his finger across his throat as he mouthed the words 'you're dead'.

"I know I'm your childhood friend Jake, but you gotta admit Mark is way better than you," Gina told him. He looked back and forth between Gina and Amy helplessly, then decided to just glare at the latter.

"And when he inevitably breaks up with you Amy, you give him my number," Gina called as she turned the volume back up to nearly unbearable levels.

The rest of the ride consisted of Jake and Amy making snarky faces at each other that soon blossomed into full blown smiles.

* * *

"You really do look nice," He told Amy seriously as soon as Gina left the table. They were left alone at one of the VIP tables in the back (courtesy of Gina's very importantness) and it was the first time that evening that they were anywhere near alone. She was gorgeous. Even if he knew every word in the English language he would never find one that adequately described just how awe-inspiring she looked. Especially when she smiled at him.

"You too." Amy began to scoot her chair a little closer, but he reminded her what they were there for.

"Drugs. Really want to be close to you right now, but my mind is all about drugs at the moment. Sole focus. Drugs drugs drugs. Can't get enough of them. Love me some drugs."

She laughed and kicked him, but she had to admit he had a point. They were here for work. They settled to scanning the audience to look for any suspicious movement.

It was probably 20 minutes before Gina came back to the table.

"Uh, you guys are detectives, right?" She asked sarcastically. "Like that's your job? To detect? Cause I don't think crime solving is in my job description, but it looks like I'm doing that now too. If you actually got off your asses you might have learned that there's some shifty stuff going on in the ladies room, and it's not just a shameful handsie."

* * *

Both Jake and Amy were surprised to learn that illegal steroids were way more common in the dancing business than either of them would have guessed.

* * *

"He _knows_ ," Amy had been trying to convince him all morning, but he just didn't believe her.

"I'm telling you, he doesn't."

"Jake, he _**knows**_ ," she told him again, trying to convey how sure of it she was.

"For the last time, Charles does not have a sixth sense, and there is no possible way that he know we're having sex. He. Does. Not. Know." Jake responded sternly. They were discussing this at their desks, but since no one was in the immediate vicinity, they felt they could pass with hushed tones. She had been bothering him about this lately, but he was convinced she was wrong, but she just kept pressing it.

"He keeps giving me weird looks, and chuckles every time I say your name. He's _always_ watching. Yesterday he came up to me and said 'your secret's safe with me'. What else could he possibly mean by that?" Jake was trying to formulate an answer for what else he actually could mean by that when Boyle walked up to their conjoined desks.

"Speak of the devil," Jake whispered.

"Hello my two favorite strictly platonic friends. You two have any romantic plans for this weekend?" Charles paused. "I mean, with Carmen and Mark, respectively." He added as if nothing was wrong. Amy didn't even have to look at her partner to know that his jaw was hanging wide open. Before he could even set his face back to neutral, Boyle's chat was interrupted.

"Charles! Just because I turn my back to get some yogurt does not mean you have permission to go off and gossip in the middle of your review!" Terry shouted from the briefing room. Charles promised them he would come back later to finish the conversation.

Jake turned to Amy with wide eyes.

"Oh god," he whispered. "He _**knows**_."


	10. Family first impressions

"Oh crap," Amy said when she looked at her phone and realized exactly what day it was. She had it written on her calendar all month that she was supposed to be there at 11 AM. She usually set reminders on her phone to warn her of stuff like this, but she completely dropped the ball this time.

"Jake, I'm sorry, but today's my brother's birthday and I promised I would be there. I totally forgot," she gave her boyfriend an apologetic look as he was fiddling around with the buttons on her DVD player.

"Aw, but today was gonna be our movie day!" He whined. "I had it all planned out. First Die Hard," he held up a finger for each subsequent point. "followed by Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Lethal Weapon, then break for lunch, Lethal Weapon 2, Lethal Weapon 4," he added his second hand to the mix. "back to Die Hard with a Vengeance, and finish off with Lethal Weapon 3."

"I know, and I'm sor- wait. Is that the only reason you're up before noon? So you could make me watch seven hours of action movies in one sitting?" Amy asked, even though she already knew the answer. She was wondering why he was awake so early, but now it all made sense. He had told her it would only be a few films, but apparently he considered seven to be a few.

"Maybe a little more than seven hours. But hey! I put in a lunch break! So it would really be in only two sittings." He actually seemed offended at her insinuation, even though it was obvious she was correct.

"Whatever. It starts at 11, and he lives two hours away, so I've got to leave now, basically. So you can either come with or stay here and and be lonely with Die Hard for company. Which will it be?"

Jake huffed, but stood up and grabbed his jacket off the couch to meet her at the door.

* * *

"Did you plan this?" Jake asked a third of the way into their ride. Amy was humming along to the radio after finally finding a station that wasn't on commercial break. She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Plan what?"

"You know, springing this on me at the last moment. So I wouldn't have time to reconsider." He explained, then realized how likely it was that it was true. "You did, didn't you? And you still let me painstakingly decide which order to watch the DVDs, and all this time you knew you were going to cancel movie day. You monster!" Jake stared at her aghast, then started slowly shaking his head.

"I didn't!" Amy laughed. "I promise. I really just forgot. What's so bad about coming anyway that would have made you reconsider?"

Jake stared out the window silently for far too long.

"I don't tend to make a good impression on families. Not even my own. What if they hate me?"

She didn't even realize, but this actually would be the first time Jake had met any of her family, even though they've known each other for so long. They hadn't really done that whole 'bring home to parents' thing yet. Amy had met Jake's dad, but that was before they were together, so she wasn't sure if that counted either. It was still sweet that he was worried about it, though.

"So what?" She shrugged. "If they hate you, they hate you," she told him as if it didn't matter. Her family's opinion really was inconsequential to her, at least in this area.

"That's not even remotely comforting!" He threw up his hands in frustration while she just rolled her eyes.

"It really not important what they think. I love you and that's all that matters." She told him sweetly as she patted him on the knee. He seemed a little less bothered at least, but he was still quiet. Even though she knew it would probably make it worse, she couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him.

"Besides, it's not like they're gonna beat you up," she paused thoughtfully, "though that did happen to the last guy I brought over..."

"That's it!" Jake exclaimed. "I'm jumping out at the next red light!"

"Good luck. We're on this free way for the next hour," Amy taunted. He only pouted in response.

* * *

It was an unusually hot day for April, so Jake wasn't surprised when he smelled the smoke from the barbeque. Amy introduced him to her 4 brothers that were gathered near the fence in their idyllic backyard. She was soon dragged off by her two nieces, leaving Jake alone to fend for himself.

The family resemblance was clear, but it was painfully obvious that they were 1000x more fit than him. On a scale from Jake to Terry: Marc, Manny, Lucas, and Nick were pretty damn close too Terry. Uncomfortably close considering Amy's comment on the way over there, even if he was 90% sure she was joking. Actually, 85% sure she was joking.

"Hi, I'm Jake. Amy's boyfriend and partner in detecting," he said with false ease, plastering on a smile. He held out his hand for a shake, but no one took it.

"So you're Jake, huh?" Marc asked, with a look on his face that was disturbingly close to looking like he was sizing Jake up to eat. Or, you know, beat up.

"If you've heard anything bad, I'm fairly certain there's at least one other guy in the state named Jake. Or girl. At least one of them," he hedged and laughed nervously.

"Jake Peralta." Marc elaborated, completely straight faced.

"Yeah," Jake admitted scratching the back of his head. "Those stories are probably about me." Jake shifted his weight under the scrutiny of their gaze. He was beginning to sweat, but he was 90% sure it was from the heat. Make that 85% sure.

"Do we have to do the whole 'Amy's our only little sister and if you hurt her' spiel?" This time it was Lucas with the question staring him down.

"You do realize she carries her own gun, right? I couldn't run fast enough if I tried." Jake was being completely honest with that statement. Then something happened that surprised him.

They all started laughing and then smiling, leaving Jake completely dumbfounded. Lucas actually patted Jake on the back, and everyone offered him a proper handshake.

"We just like to mess with whoever Amy brings home. Hope we didn't scare you too bad," Nick explained when he saw the utter confusion written on Jake's face. He sighed with relief at that news, instantly relaxing.

"She said you were gonna beat me up," Jake confessed, which made the brothers laugh even harder, and this time Jake laughed with them.

"What are you dorks laughing about?" Amy asked, sauntering up.

"You," Manny shot back. Amy just rolled her eyes.

* * *

"This is Abigail, and this is Lizzie," Amy introduced him to her nieces. She whispered in his ear that the former was 6 years old and the latter was 4. They were sitting at a children's table on the lawn having what appeared to be an absolutely bitching tea party. Tea cups, saucers, sugar bowls, and even fake biscuits- the whole nine yards.

"You guys have everything here. I'm completely jealous," Jake told them, and they finally spared enough of their concentration to give him a good look.

"Wanna play?" Abigail asked him with such an amount of quiet dignity that Jake was previously unaware could exist in a 6 year old. He pulled out a chair that was about 10 sizes to small for him, but somehow made it work and sat down.

"Of course!" He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lizzie gave him his own cup and saucer, then poured imaginary tea from a tea pot in an extremely professional manner. She then pretended to nibble on a biscuit in silence, or more like quiet contemplation. Suddenly she stood up and ran off and came back with a sparkly pink costume dress and another that was sparkly blue.

"Who wants to be the princess and who wants to be the queen?" Lizzie directed the question at her sister, but Jake's hand shot up like he was in child in class.

"Me! Me! I wanna be the princess!" He shouted. Lizzie eyed him doubtfully.

"I don't think it'll fit you," she told him, holding up the pink dress to compare it to Jake's size. It was abundantly clear the dress wasn't made to fit anyone over the age of 8.

"Sure it will," he said, grabbing it and then tucking it into his collar like a bib. "So, how do I look?" He asked, and the girls broke out into giggles. It seemed the trio had all but forgot about Amy, who was still standing less than a foot away. She had never known Jake was so good with kids, but it kinda made sense because he basically was one himself. Sometimes she just had to smile at him.

"Now where is a princess without her scepter?" he asked, eying a white stick with a star and streamers attached to the end that was lying on the grass.

"The _wand_ is for the fairy," Abigail told him. Jake considered it for a moment.

"Is there any rule that says a princes can't be a fairy?"

It seemed the girls had never been asked that before. They leaned across the table to each other and whispered conspiratorially, every so often stopping to give a wary look to Jake. Suddenly, they both reached an agreement with a nod and ran off inside.

Both girls came out with something hidden behind their backs. Turned out that Lizzie had some butterfly wings with elastic attached that she made Jake sit completely still to put on his shoulders, instead of letting him put it on himself.

"Aunt Amy, you get to be the knight!" Abigail told her, holding out to her a plastic light saber.

"Do I? What an honor," she said, bowing with a flourish to take the toy from her. The girls looked between Jake and her like they were expecting something.

"The knight has to kiss the princess. It's the rule," Abigail asserted with a hand on her hip, looking like a complete sass master.

"Oh really?" Amy scrutinized. "That wasn't a rule last time I was here."

"Was too," both girls said at the same instant, without missing a single beat. It was clear to see she wouldn't get any leeway by arguing with them.

"C'mon! Think of the children!" Jake pleaded looking up at her with puppy dog eyes.

"The children! The children!" The girls parroted without having any clue what it meant. They could only see that it was starting to sway her. Amy decided it wasn't any harm so she leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips.

Abigail and Lizzie squealed, then ran off to apparently tell their dad. Tattle is more like it. Jake leaned back and sighed.

"They're cute," he said earnestly. He had a feeling that they were a mirror image of Amy when she was their age.

"They are, aren't they?" Amy played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"Makes you wonder what a bit of Santiago and Peralta would look like mixed together. Little mochaccino babies. Caramel latte with extra room for cream."

"Yeah, it does," she agreed.


	11. Shady (whisper war)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quotes written solely in italics and between single quotation marks represent mouthing words like you would to a friend across the classroom. No sound, just lip reading. In case it isn't clear from context clues.

"Santiago and Peralta, you'll be watching from 5th street," Captain Holt told them. They had been surveilling a run down strip mall all week due to an informant's info, but so far nothing even remotely important happened. The CI said that whatever was going down was going down tonight at midnight, so it was pretty much all or nothing this time. Amy and Jake were bristling, getting ready to play up their fight so they wouldn't have to go together.

"Diaz, Boyle, go with them," the captain addressed the other two detectives. Rosa groaned but made no argument as she walked out the door, with Charles following behind. Jake and Amy headed out too, seeing no problem now that they knew it would be the four of them.

* * *

"Why can't criminals ever do shady things in _not_ shady areas? Like a well populated public square in broad daylight?" Jake complained when they pulled into position. The strip mall was the shadiest thing he had ever seen, and he'd seen a lot of shady, shady things. There were three storefronts on the property, all of which had gone out of business- but left the broken formerly neon signs hanging up. There wasn't even a birds nest in the cracked O. You know something's messed up when even a bird won't touch it. There was only one store with any of it's windows left in tact, and the one beside it had broken glass around the edge even though there were bars to deter theft. Didn't seem like they worked out too well. Jake turned his head to see Amy looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Obviously I _know_ why they can't, but a man can dream, can't he?" He shook his head wistfully.

He had tried to start a conversation before, but no one seemed to feel like talking. Rosa was in a bad mood, and she was bringing the whole car way down deep into bummersville USA. She was always in at least a little bit of a bad mood as far as anyone could tell, but something tonight made it much worse. Every time Charles reached to turn on the radio she hit his hand and snarled. Honest to god snarled. And if anyone tried to speak more than two sentences she would remind everyone of how silent they needed to be with a thinly veiled threat. Even though it was dark and Jake couldn't see her through the rear view mirror, he somehow always knew when she was glaring directly at him. All in all, it had been the worst 30 minutes of the year, and it was only 11:40. He didn't know how much longer he could stand it.

"Did you see that?" Rosa asked in a hushed tone, and every one paid attention. She was pointing to an alley way that led right behind the buildings that had almost no lighting. No one could see a thing.

"I think I saw someone walk in there. Peralta, Santiago: go check it out. And don't even think about arguing. Get over yourselves." She ordered in the most menacing tone she could manage.

"But it's all spooky!" Jake whined.

"Go."

Sensing that their friend was at the end of her rope, Jake and Amy wordlessly got out of the car to check out the alley.

* * *

The alley was empty, thankfully, and looked pretty much like how you'd expect an abandoned alley to look like. There were dumpsters on one end that looked like they hadn't been emptied in years, and all sorts of junk strewn about on the concrete. There were some wooden crates piled by a back door to one of the stores that still had (probably expired) bottles of soda in them, and cinder blocks stacked on top of each other right beside them.

"There's no one here," Jake radioed back in over the walkie talkie. "Can we come back now? I think I might get tetanus just from looking at this place another minute longer."

"Stay there," Rosa growled. "It's almost midnight, and whoever is coming might be late. We're not going to screw this up just cause you're scared of the dark."

Jake held the radio directly to his mouth and groaned in the most childish manner possible to show his discontent. When his annoyance wasn't deemed worthy of a response, he looked over at Amy and smirked.

"So, how are things going with you?" He asked, taking the time to walk over the the pile of cinder blocks and lay out his jacket on top of them. He took a seat and patted the space next to him.

"Oh, you know, just trying to come to terms with the fact that my boyfriend is a petulant child," Amy remarked as she sat beside him.

"Your tone says insult, but since I have no clue what petulant means, I'm gonna assume it's a compliment," Jake grinned.

They sat in relative silence for what felt like forever, but every time one of them checked there phone, only a couple of minutes had passed. Jake was tracing the contours of her hand in a way that Amy couldn't stop herself shivering from. Eventually he leaned down to kiss along the lengths of her collarbone.

"Jake!" She protested. "We're in an alley."

"A boring, secluded alley, Amy." He amended. "Besides, it's 12:15, if anything was gonna happen, it would have happened already. And you know Rosa will make us wait out here for another hour at least."

She had to admit he was probably right about the time line. They definitely wouldn't be allowed to go back until 1 AM, especially with Rosa's grumpy state that night. And it was so tempting to give in to the feel of his lips on her skin, his fingers still mapping out the valleys and hills on her palm, between her fingers, the back of her hand. He really was impossible to resist, rules and proper procedures be damned.

She tilted his face up so she could really, truly, properly kiss him. One hand moved to his hair while the other clutched to the back of his shirt like he was the only thing keeping her grounded. Every time they broke for a breath, he whispered her name, over and over until she had lost track after the fifth repeat. She loved how it flowed off his lips like a prayer.

He pulled back for a moment, chancing a look elsewhere only to see something that made him freeze.

"Oh shiiiiiiiiiiit."

"What?" Amy asked, looking around the alley for some unseen danger as she reached for her gun. She stopped when she saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. No stranger lurking or even a particularly yappy chihuahua. Everything was exactly the same as when they first came in, so she had no clue what he was upset about. "What?" She repeated.

Then she noticed that Jake was pointing at the spot between them. She was about ready to jump up because there was a rat or a cockroach or some other awful creature, but that wasn't the case.

It was just the radio.

And then she saw it.

The red light was on. The little red light in the corner was on. The little red light that meant that it was broadcasting. She figured it was safe to assume that Jake hadn't just turned it on at that moment. He was right. Oh shit.

They both looked up at each other with very wide eyes.

' _How long?_ ' she mouthed, and he just shrugged. She felt like freaking out, and screaming, but she could only do one of those things silently.

' _You are such an idiot!_ ' She told him, not letting a sound escape her lips.

' _I didn't mean to!_ '

' _But you did! I never should have trusted you with the radio! This is all your fault! What are we gonna do?!_ ' This time she had her hands in a frenzy so he could tell exactly how mad she was since he wouldn't have her tone for a clue. He held up his hands in a 'don't shoot' gesture, but she was very tempted to shoot him at that moment. Or at least punch him.

"So that's where the walkie talkie is..." Jake exclaimed in an awkward high pitch. "Hey guys. What's up with you?" He radioed in with that shrill voice of his that he only ever used when he was lying. The voice that let everyone know he was lying.

It was a heavy 10 seconds before Diaz radioed back.

"We know it was you. You said Amy's name like a dozen times."

"13 times. Baker's dozen. I counted," Charles chimed in.

So that was it. They were caught.

"Oh my god, please don't tell captain Holt," Amy begged, ready to offer to do their paperwork for months or whatever it took to buy their silence.

"Whatever. This whole things a bust. If you don't get your asses back her in the next 60 seconds I'm leaving without you." Rosa threatened. And they didn't doubt her for a moment.

* * *

They climbed into the backseat in silence and Rosa wouldn't even look at them. Charles, on the other hand was turned around in his seat looking positively overjoyed. If he was standing, Amy was sure he would be bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Can you kiss her?" Boyle asked.

"What? Charles! No!" Jake shouted as if it was the most preposterous thing he had ever heard. He shook his head as he tried to fathom what possible reason Charles could have for asking that.

"What?" Boyle defended. "I need a reason to believe in true love."

"No!" He repeated, and Charles was forced sit down regularly since the car had started.

Jake slumped down in his seat with the most sullen look Amy had ever seen cross his face. He looked surprisingly similar to a kid who was going to pout for hours because he got in trouble for putting his hand in the cookie jar. It was weirdly fascinating, slightly amusing, and actually kinda cute. Amy would have loved to watch him brood for the whole ride, but she knew she should do something to make him feel better.

She did the only thing she could think of, and reached out and grabbed his hand. He began to turn to look at her, but his head only tilted a few inches before he decided that it might not be the best move for him to look at her. She still saw the corners of his lips turn into the slightest smile.

She trailed her finger along the back of her hand like he did to her earlier and thoroughly enjoyed the shudder that went through him.


	12. Black socks

"Pay up, losers," Rosa told the rest of the team as she sauntered back into the precinct. She was actually almost grinning. Or at least the closest that Rosa could ever get to a grin. Definitely gloating.

Amy and Jake walked in at a safe distance from each other, but everyone groaned and started reaching for their wallets.

"Did you... did you have a bet? On us?" Amy asked, not quite believing the signs.

Terry sighed.

"Really, guys? You couldn't just wait one more week?" He sounded so incredibly disappointed in them that it was jarring. If anyone had the right to be upset, it was her and Jake.

"Does everyone know? How long?" More than anything, Jake sounded tired.

"Us six. Captain's out. Bet's been going for two months. Everyone agreed it was happening three months back and... Hitchcock and Scully figured it out last week of January." Rosa said working to remember the dates, and Jake laughed.

"You almost had me for a second there," he conceded. There was no way that Scully and Hitchcock could've figured it out the week after they started dating. It was impossible. Against the laws of physics.

"I'm not joking," Rosa told him completely straight faced.

"Almost fool me once, shame on you. Almost fool me twice..." He shook his finger at her.

I took Rosa, Charles, and Terry all swearing up and down multiple times for him to start to believe it. The two men in question just watched as everyone came towards their desks to watch the blow out.

"How? You guys are literally the worst detectives, ever. Period. And I'm including Scrappy Doo and Velma _after_ she'd lost her glasses. You're like inspector gadget without the gadgets and no little dog and no little girl to pick up the slack. You're like... for some reason all I can think of are cartoons with dogs. Was Wishbone a cartoon? No, he was actually a good detective, right?" He asked as he turned around to check with Amy who shrugged before he finished off his tangent. "But that's beside the point! Scully, I only know three people with names of famous investigators. And Cagney and Lacey still beat you!" He finally stopped his tirade. "And I shouldn't be insulting you if I want you to answer me, should I?" He realized with a sigh. "Just... just tell me how," he finished as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well one day Amy came in smelling like your shampoo, which wasn't too weird in and of itself. Lot's of things could explain that. Late night case files, rave parties, bacon benders, just loads of stuff. But the next time the situation was reversed." Hitchcock started.

"Then we saw that you were changing your socks everyday, which you only do when you get a girlfriend. And you started doing it the same time Amy got a boyfriend, and we knew there had to be a reason you weren't bragging about a new relationship," Scully finished.

"How." Jake stated rather than asked. "How in the world did you notice my socks. They're black. They're always black. I can't even tell the difference between all of my pairs."

"You know," Scully said began thoughtfully. "We were wondering if you were color blind cause you've never been able to match them for years. We just never wanted to ask because we thought you would be embarrassed."

"For Christ sakes," Jake said as he sat down in a chair and tore off both of his shoes. "They're _**black**_!" He held up his feet so everyone could see they were the same shade of black, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Coal," Hitchcock said pointing at his left foot.

"Obsidian," Scully said pointing at the right.

"And I'm still pissed off at everyone else. Rosa, you sent us to go out there when you knew what would happen and some crazy druggie psychopath killer could've crazy druggie psychopath killed us, and you did that on purpose." Jake was stern and somehow managed to put on his shoes without detracting away from how furious he looked.

"Nothing was going to happen," Diaz assured him.

"You can't possibly know that."

"Actually, I could. I may have known that the CI info was less than reliable," she admitted.

Gina coughed. "And you better pay up sister. It was my idea to hire him." Rosa began counting out a prearranged amount of money of the stakes that they had apparently previously agreed upon.

Terry was about to make a complaint when Rosa reminded him, "You said no rules other than outright asking. So teaming up and a bit of manipulation was never against the rules. The only direct thing I did was change the settings on the radio so it's default was transmitting. Nothing more. No cheating." So it was good to know that the whole radio thing wasn't completely his fault, but it still didn't make him feel better.

"I hate exactly six of you here, and you know who you are," Jake declared with his head in his hands. "Screw it. I'm heading home," he said and walked out the door.

* * *

Amy made the decision to follow out a few seconds after him. She'd never seen him so upset before. She didn't even think he'd be this bothered when they were on the way back to the precinct. She had wanted to catch him before he got outside, but when she got to the lobby he was gone so she just hoped he hadn't driven off yet.

"Jake!" She shouted when she left the building, looking out into the night hoping catch his attention before he was too far away. She didn't see him so she ran out a few steps further, only for someone to catch her arm from behind a wall and pull her into them.

It was way too dark to see, but she relaxed when she recognized the familiar scent of Jake before he crashed his lips to hers.

"You scared me," she scolded him when she pulled back.

"Sorry." He still had his arms wrapped around her, holding her so tight, but she didn't mind at all. Amy leaned further into his embrace and nuzzled into the crook of his neck as he let out a deep breath.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Really?" Her voice was soft in concern.

He let out a huff of laughter that vibrated through his chest.

"Yeah," he confirmed as he stroked her hair. They stood still like that for a while, just breathing and waiting and staying. His warmth was always a comfort to her, and she could never manage to worry when she could feel his touch. She could only hope she did the same for him.

"It is a little creepy that they made note of what our shampoo smells like, right?" She asked him, only half kidding.

"Try a lot creepy. And what Rosa and Gina pulled has got to be all sorts of illegal, isn't it? Talk about a misuse of department resources," Jake said, making her laugh. "And my socks really are black, right?" He sounded completely uncertain.

"Couldn't tell the difference," Amy swore as she crossed and x over her heart. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the night by then, so she pulled back to check if he was smiling. She was relieved to find that he was, just like usual. So she grinned back at him.

"Did you really not use to change your socks everyday?" She questioned, making a face because she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

"What can I say? You bring out the best in me," he shrugged. Amy just stuck out her tongue and gagged, sending them both into fits of laughter.

"You wanna actually go home now?" She stepped away and held out her hand. He took it without a second thought.


	13. After school special

"It's going to be weird going back to work tomorrow, isn't it?" Jake asked as he sat down on the couch with a cup of coffee in hand.

Amy sighed. She had been trying not to think about how weird things would be now that everyone knew without a doubt that she and Jake were together. They had kinda avoided talking about it the day before, but it was Sunday, and they were definitely going to have to face their coworkers that Monday. And he was right. There was no denying it. It was going to be completely and totally weird.

"They're gonna think we're sneaking off to have sex if we're ever gone from our desks at the same time," she realized with a groan. And if they even tried to say anything about it, they would go all 'doth protest too much' on them. She slumped lower into her chair at the table so much that she couldn't even see Jake's head anymore.

"I've got a great idea," he said as he walked over to her, talking with his animated hands. "Okay, you start wearing your hair down like everyday, and I'll develop a new obsession with hoodies. And then we keep some actors on retainer that could pass for us, and we'll just tell em to keep their heads down or something to obscure their faces, and we-" He paused when he saw the incredulous look on her face. "Why aren't you excited?"

"Do you _really_ think that's going to work, Jake? Does that _actually_ strike you as a viable option?" She made it clear that it was probably the stupidest idea she had ever heard.

"Nah," he admitted with a shrug. "Just trying to make you smile."

Amy actually did smile at that, but then he had to go and ruin it.

"And don't you remember they had that bet going for two months? The probably assumed that was happening every day."

She moaned as she banged her head on the table.

"This is going to be awful." She was sure of it.

* * *

Sunday night was actually nice, surprisingly. Jake had kept her distracted so she wouldn't worry about whatever was going to happen the next day. At that moment in time he was reclined against the back of the couch with Amy wrapped in his arms, watching whatever movie she wanted to watch. Normally he would complain if she wanted to have a rom com marathon, but not that night. No, he was being sweet that night. Well, sweeter than he normally was. She wasn't even paying attention to what she clicked, the only effort on her part was hitting next on whatever movie popped up in the netflix queue, not even bothering to even guess what the movie was about. And Jake was just tracing circles on the small of her back while she laid her head against his chest. She knew he wasn't even looking at the screen, just watching her. And it was nice. Sometimes she just needed to be reminded of his warmth and how nice it was to just be them, together.

"We should tell Holt," Jake said, and Amy shot up. Perfect moment, ruined just like that, a snap of the fingers. He looked surprised at her reaction, but she was more shocked at his. She didn't know how he could say that casually, like it was the only reasonable conclusion. But it definitely wasn't it. It was the opposite of reasonable.

"Stop looking at me like I'm crazy."

"I will stop looking at you like you're crazy," she informed him, "When you stop being crazy. Or saying crazy things. Better yet, do both of those."

Jake shrugged at her completely earnest suggestion.

"Everyone else already knows, so it's not really worth it to just try to keep it a secret from him. And besides, do you really trust the other fab six to not blab about it? Or be obvious about it in literally any other possible way. I mean, it's probably better to hear it from us than from them," Jake explained. Amy hated the fact that what he was saying actually kinda made sense. She hated it whenever they were in an argument and he was being the rational one.

"But you're my partner, Jake. I don't want to be assigned someone new, or even if we just switched with Boyle and Diaz. I like working with _you_." That was the whole point of them keeping their relationship a secret. I wasn't because she was ashamed and didn't want anyone to know she was dating him. She didn't want to lose him. Of course it wouldn't be actually losing him, since they would still be together after work or whatever, but she didn't want to lose her relationship with him as his partner. They'd worked together for years, and he was the person she trusted most in the world. She always knew that Jake would have her back, and she would always have his. She had worked so hard to get up to this point, this balance. The perfect line between work and life. Everything was perfect the way it was. She was finally with Jake, and she didn't want anything to change. She didn't want anything to jeopardize that balance.

He must have seen the genuine fear in her eyes, because he reached out for her and smiled his warmest smile. "Hey," he said soothingly. "He's not gonna split us up. You know we've been solving more cases these past few months, right?"

"37% increase in the rate of closed cases," she said almost automatically.

Jake smirked. "I knew you noticed that. So we're working better together when we're... together. So it wouldn't make any sense to switch us up," he assured her. She was starting to see his point, but she still was unsure.

"Besides, he's not an idiot. He probably already knows. And he's gonna be like 'I was wondering how long it would take for you to tell me,'" Jake said in his mocking deep captain voice. "And it's like... Oh. I just figured it out." He said the last part like he had just discovered the secret to life, and it was staring him right in the face the entire time.

"What are you talking about? Figured what out?" She asked, and sincerely hoped that he wasn't going to go off on a completely unrelated tangent because she still very much needed to talk about whatever they were going to do with the whole situation.

"This. We're in an after school special."

"Jake," she warned him, exactly not in the mood for whatever the hell random thing he thought up just now. "We need to talk about this."

"No, hear me out. We're in an after school special and Captain Holt is the dad who knows the kids are lying but he's just waiting for them to fess up that they did something wrong, but the kids keep lying and lying and getting worse. And he knows and he's just waiting for us to tell the truth. And he's just so disappointed in us and in himself that we don't trust him. And he's like, if we just confessed that we broke the vase playing baseball he wouldn't have gotten us in trouble, but now he has to get us in trouble because we inadvertently burned down the neighbors tree house. And he'll be so heart broken, and he'll go back over all of the child raising books just muttering to himself 'Where did I go wrong?' And he would have expected it from me, but not from you. He will be so, _so_ disappointed in you, Santiago. You're breaking his heart. His poor old brittle heart being ground into dust by his prized mentee. I can't believe you," he finished completely aghast, and Amy laughed.

"Okay!" She surrendered, throwing up her hands. "You're actually starting to make me feel bad! We'll tell him. Tomorrow morning, okay? Happy now?"

Jake smiled triumphantly.

* * *

Jake managed to convince her to let him do most of the talking. He said if the captain was going to blow up, he wanted it directed at him, but Amy was still wary. Knowing Jake, he was gonna do something to mess it up. There was a reason that she felt that it was a bad idea to let him lead any conversation, but she couldn't remember exactly what it was.

* * *

In a surprising turn of events, Jake managed to be awake and at the precinct at 7 am. He told Amy that he just wanted to get it over with first thing, but she thought that a little bit of his motivation might be in the fact that no one else would be there.

He and Amy walked into the captain's office together and stood in silence a few steps away from his desk. Holt was looking over some paperwork and evidently was not going to look up until he had finished perusing the document and marking off lines in a red pen. She had thought that Jake would just interrupt him, like usual. That's what she wanted to do.

But no, her partner was stock still, standing the straightest she had ever seen him. He even had his hands held behind his back. He was actually... kind of proper. And respectful. That was a day she'd never thought she'd see: Jake being deferential to one of his superiors.

"Yes, detectives?" The captain addressed them without even looking up from his paper.

"Just felt like we should inform you that me and Santiago have done a little bit more than fraternizing after work lately," Jake told him, then added a "Sir" on the end. It was completely bizarre how delicately he was handling the situation. It probably was a good idea to let him do the talking, because he was managing it unexpectedly well.

Holt still didn't look up from the apparently engrossing file he had in his hands.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to tell me," Holt said, and Jake mouthed the same exact words the captain used as he shot a smile at Amy. "Peralta, I know what you're doing," The captain said, still without ever even looking up.

Amy had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing.

Then captain Holt finally looked up at them. He had a piercing gaze that was even more intimidating than his usual one. He stared both of them down like he was trying to discern something, but it was impossible to know what.

"Do you two have reason to believe that your personal relationship will affect your professional relationship?"

"We've had a 37% increase in our solved cases since January," Amy rattled off, hoping that he found that number impressive. She knew it was impressive, but the captain's face was impassive.

"So I take it that it was in January when you started..." Holt trailed off. It was completely obvious that it was a rhetorical question. All he needed was a nod and they could move on, but of course things would never be that easy with her partner.

"Going at each other like rabbits, sir," Jake finished helpfully.

And there it was. The reason that he should never ever be allowed to dominate a serious conversation like this, because he was Jake.

Amy groaned and the captain pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I take it you have a good reason for not notifying your superior of the situation months ago?" The captain asked, even though all three of them knew the answer. They didn't have a single remotely good reason.

"We wanted to prove we worked well together first so we'd have a statistic on why we shouldn't be split up? Which we wouldn't have been able to do if we did the whole notifying thing and the automatic action was to split us up?" Jake offered, and everyone in the room knew that he was really asking if the captain would take that as the official excuse when all three of them knew it was utter BS.

The captain pulled out some forms that evidently needed to be filled out in case of romantic office entanglement.

"Ground rules. No PADs," Holt began.

"PDAs," Amy corrected him.

"And for the love of god, don't tell me anymore more about it," Holt ordered before he dismissed them.

* * *

Jake and Amy made their way back to their desks, glad that they were still the first and only ones there. He tried to busy himself with straightening the piles of paper on his desk by banging them on the table and Amy was trying to make herself focus on the keyboard she was typing on instead of just pressing random letters. Soon he just gave up and leaned closer to her from across their desks to whisper conspiratorially.

"I don't think I know how to not fake fight with you at work anymore."

"It's bad that I know exactly what you mean, isn't it?" She asked. "Despite that total travesty of a sentence."

Their conversation was cut short when the heard the elevator ding open to allow the first of their coworkers through. She knew in that moment that the rest of the day would be absolute hell, and there was nothing they could do about it. Fantastic.


	14. Adjustments, toothbrushes, and real fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a vignette-y chapter

"So, you and Amy, huh?" Boyle smirked once he had trapped Jake alone when he went back for his fourth cup of coffee. Everyone around the precinct had a completely undeserved smugness about them, even though Jake and Amy had been completely formal with each other that day. In fact, that only seemed to make it worse. They both had to be honest that even their pre-relationship banter was only a step away from flirting, so it was hard to go back to normal when normal wasn't even normal- how their old normal would now be misconstrued into something way more meaningful than it was. Or maybe it was always meaningful. Jake decided not to waste anymore time trying to define it anymore.

"Yup, going after her all romantic styles. With an S," Jake told him as if it were no big deal, but Charles didn't see it that way.

"Not a Z?" Charles gasped.

Jake only nodded and pushed past his shell shocked friend.

* * *

"You two are on the short list of people who don't make me want to gouge my eyes out. The _very_ short list. So if you do anything to fuck this up, I will shoot you both. I'm not picking sides if you guys hurt each other. I don't care who the aggressor is. So _don't_. _Fuck. Up_ ," Rosa told them, apparently worried about the work dynamic in the precinct if they screwed up. Amy and Jake only nodded.

* * *

"Oh thank god," Amy sighed with relief when they finally entered Jake's apartment. "That was the longest day I've ever had. I could almost feel the earth spinning slower. And we have to go back and do it all again tomorrow... and the day after that... and the day after that," she realized with dread. The whole day was weird, and she had never felt so self conscious than with everyone watching them with a slight smile on their face. They had apparently known that she and Jake were together for awhile, but it was much better when they were trying to hide the fact that they knew. It was infinitely better. She wasn't sure she could survive another work day with Terry's knowing glances, Boyle's giggles, and Gina's hmmphs every time she was within five feet of any of them. Rosa, Hitchcock, and Scully were at least keeping their smirks hidden by hands, or papers, or mugs. She still wished they would all get over it though. She just wanted to collapse into Jake's bed and hide from the world under the covers. Or at least let him try to distract her.

"So, uh..." Jake began as he scratched the back of his head.

"Don't even think about it!" She shouted as she spun on her heels to face him. It was clear by the look on his face that he had no idea what her order was referring to. He was in the middle of taking off his jacket when she started shouting, so he froze with half of it on and half of it off.

"Think about what?"

"You are _not_ going to get weird with me when we're alone just because it was at work. We're going back to yesterday when everything was fine, and you are _not_ allowed to make this awkward," Amy told him in her strictest tone. She was not going to let the strangeness at work invade how they interacted at home. Not on her watch.

"So every time I use a place holder that counts as being awkward?" Jake smirked. "That's like, um... um... you know the... the thing..." He trailed off being completely deliberate.

"Hush, you," Amy ordered before kissing him, confident that nothing had changed.

* * *

"I forgot my toothbrush!" Jake shouted from the bathroom one morning. Amy realized that they really needed to start keeping permanent stuff at each other's places, because one of them was always forgetting something. They always split up their time half being at Jake's place and half being at hers. She couldn't remember the last time she had spent a night alone, which she was more than happy with. But they really needed to figure out a way to organize it so stuff like the toothbrush thing wouldn't happen anymore.

"Use your fingers!" She called helpfully from the kitchen. She had just popped some bread in the toaster to make for them (or rather burn for them) and taking a sip of her coffee to make sure she had put enough cream in it. She heard Jake running the water in her bathroom before he yelled back at her.

"I'm gonna use yours!"

Amy slammed down her cup sloshing coffee over the edges as she raced towards the bathroom. She nearly slipped from the hardwood floor and her socks, but slid to a stop to see Jake smile at her with a foamy grin and her toothbrush stuck in between his teeth.

"You can have it," she said. "I'm getting a new one."

* * *

Jake stormed out of her apartment with a slammed door, but Amy knew he wouldn't be gone long. He never was. He was never the first one to yell, but when he caught himself yelling back at her, he would storm out and tell her he was going on a walk, giving them both some much needed time to calm down. Amy hated arguing, and she knew he did too. She had to remind herself every so often of the nugget of wisdom her mother told her: the couples who were really in trouble were the ones who never fought at all. She wasn't sure where this particular argument started, but she remembered it was her fault. A lot of their arguments were her fault, and if it wasn't, she was probably the one to escalate it. She hated herself when she did it, but at times she just couldn't stop her blood from boiling.

And Jake was always great about it, trying to placate her before she got him worked up. It wasn't like she got mad that often, and they could usually solve the problem without ending in screaming. It was because it was so uncommon that it seemed like such a big deal when they did. She always had to remind herself to take deep breaths in his absence.

"I'm sorry," Jake said from behind her. She hadn't even noticed that he came in. It wasn't even 15 minutes since he had exited, but apparently that was enough time- as it was for her. He had his hands in his pocket and horrible posture with absolute contrition written on his face.

"I hate that you always say you're sorry first," Amy told him honestly, only half sarcastic.

"What?" He asked.

"You're always the first to apologize, and I hate that about you. Why can't you just be mad at me for more than an hour?" She knew it was a stupid complaint, but that didn't change how she felt.

"So you're mad at me cause I'm not mad at you?" Jake tried to clarify as he put together the meaning from her words.

"Yes. No. Why can't you just be better at holding a grudge? I mean, the whole argument was my fault. A lot of them are my fault. But you always say you're sorry first, when it should be me apologizing half the time. But it's never, ever been me," she wasn't mad at him, just disappointed in herself. She wanted to put more work on her part in their reconciliations, but it seemed Jake had enough of that to cover both of them.

He nodded in understanding and gave her a hug. She pressed herself into his chest and took in everything he was- his scent, his warmth, and his arms wrapped around her. It always was easier to take deep breaths when he was around.

"So right now I'm apologizing for 75% of the arguments we've had in the past, and roughly half of the arguments we have in the future," Amy murmured into his shirt, and he chuckled.

"I forgive you," he shook his head slightly and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"How do you do it? Get over it so quickly?" She asked, hoping to find out if he had a secret technique she could use to her advantage.

"I could never stay mad at you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took me forever to find the with a Z quote cause I was just checking to make sure it was said, and I couldn't find it anywhere for a good 15 minutes, and I was like "I know I did not just make that up" And I went through the scripts for the episodes to find it, but I searched the for the term romantic style or romantic and literally went through all of the episode scripts (thank god for ctrl F) and I still couldn't find it so I googled the term, nothing came up so I broke it up and did the whole exact quotation marks for google and it took me a while, but I finally found out that "romantic styles" and "stylez with a Z" were quotes from 2 different episodes.
> 
> And this is where I'm caught up as of time of this posting (Aug 10 2015). I'm working on ch 15 at the moment, so hopefully that will be out soon, so stay tuned.


	15. Birthday cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Complete and utter fluff that centers around cooking.

It was about three weeks after their relationship came out at work, and things had finally died down, if only a bit. They had actually had a three day streak of no one mentioning or making any allusions to their relationship until Boyle ruined it, but that was to be expected. All of the things Amy worried would happen if everyone knew- that she and Jake would be split up, or their dynamic would change, or that their coworkers would hassle them- turned out to not be a problem at all. First, she and Jake were still partners. Second, their dynamic was fantastic- especially since they weren't trying to be on guard so they're coworkers wouldn't find out. Third, their coworkers did still hassle them, but it was more of the lighthearted hassling that Amy could definitely handle. Really, compared to what her brothers dished out when she was younger, nothing her coworkers could even imagine would come close to the awfulness they subjected to her.

And it seemed like Jake was doing really well too. He was in a perpetual good mood, which he almost always seemed, but she was sure his smiles now were genuine. And he didn't try to hide during the day when he would just zone off and stare at her with a stupid grin on his face, and Amy just loved that. She loved that she didn't have to hide how happy his smile made her.

Well, maybe she would have to start cutting back on that. She was getting smirks from the other detectives when she looked like she would float away. So they still had some stuff to figure out. Things hadn't gone back to normal, but she didn't think they ever would. They were just about to get to a new normal, and it was going to be great. The best normal that ever could be. And Amy couldn't wait.

* * *

 Amy asked to leave work early that Thursday so she'd have a chance to do something special for Jake's birthday, and she needed Boyle's help to distract him so he wouldn't notice Amy's absence. Knowing Boyle, he would probably tell Jake that something was up, but Amy didn't let him in on what was going down, other than a surprise. Though, Charles's help was the one thing she probably could have used for that surprise.

Amy tried her best to make a cake. She really did. But like so many of her other culinary attempts, it ended up in flames. Literally.

She thought all was going well until she noticed the smoke rising from the oven. When she opened it, she was greeted with a cloud of gray that burned her eyes and her throat- which in turn triggered the smoke alarm. Amy did her best to take the char out of the oven, open the window, and fan the smoke away from the alarm, but she was only one person. Smoke was still clinging to the ceiling (though she had finally got the alarm to stop blaring) when she realized she was being watched.

"What's all this?" Jake asked with clear amusement. She had no idea how long he had been standing by the door, but it seemed he was far too settled in and comfortable for him not to have offered help. Amy was breathing heavily from the exertion, and she knew her face must have been flushed- creating a sight.

"I may or have not tried to make a cake."

"Doesn't look like it went to well," he laughed, and she sighed. "You know how horrible you are at cooking. Why did you even try?" Amy couldn't find the will to be too down when he was smiling at her with that smile of his, but she was still a little upset. His teasing didn't bother her in the slightest, she was just disappointed that she even screwed this up. She really was hopeless in the cooking department, wasn't she?

"I just wanted to do something special," Amy shrugged noncommittally. "It's whatever. Now you get to sit down and relax while I figure out a way to get charcoal out of a pan and maybe order us some take out." She was ready to admit defeat without too much of a fight.

While most of the smoke had cleared out of the kitchen and through the window, she still had the blackened ruins of what was going to be a cake. It was soon apparent that scraping at the burnt mess was no good, and neither was water and soap. She was just about to throw the whole pan out in a fit of frustration when she felt Jake lay his arms over her shoulders, with his head next to hers, so his arms draped across her torso.

"Thanks," he said soft and sweet as he gave her a kiss on the cheek, with her leaning into his touch. They were frozen in what would have been the perfect moment until Amy noticed he was slowly putting more and more of his weight on her shoulders like dead weighting.

"Jake! Jake! Don't you dare go limp on me!" Amy ordered as she tried to hit him off of her back, but she was slowly caving under the pressure. "So help me Jake, I will drop right now and take you down with me!"

At her threat he supported himself a little more, but still had a good amount of his weight on her so she couldn't stand up straight. He was still leaning on her heavily, but was apprehensive enough if she carried through on her promise.

"You wouldn't do that on my birthday, would you?" Jake asked innocently.

"If you get off of me right now, you'll never have to find out," she used her 100% serious tone so he knew she wasn't kidding, and he wisely made the choice to stand up like a normal adult. "Why do you have to ruin everything?" Amy asked with a sigh and a smile, turning around to see him grinning at her too. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, which he returned. It seemed that he took her words to heart, because he didn't do anything decidedly Jake Peralta to ruin it.

"I'll cook for you next time," he said when they separated, but she wasn't going to hold him to the promise.

"Any idea what to do with this?" Amy asked holding out the blackened and burnt pan.

"Toss it."

* * *

 She had actually forgotten all about his cooking promise when her birthday rolled around a few weeks later. Really, she told him not to do anything special. The only thing she really wanted was to treat it like any other day and fall asleep while watching Netflix cuddling with him on the couch. If she really had a birthday wish, she would have wished for that lazy ending to the day. But there never really was a lazy day when you're in a relationship with Jake Peralta, was there?

Amy was greeted with a mouth watering scent when she opened her apartment door, but she was wary to say the least. If she had learned one thing about her boyfriend, it was to never, ever take anything at face value.

She was surprised to say the least when her eyes actually landed on a nice sight- she was sure she walked into the wrong apartment when she saw how different it looked. Even when she did a double take, and confirmed that she had in fact lived there for the past six years, she could still hardly believe it.

Her dining room table was set with what looked like real food, even though she knew that was highly unlikely- though her nose let her know that she wasn't just imagining it. There was some kind of pasta (Amy wasn't going to pretend she knew names other than macaroni and spaghetti), some bread that smelled herb-y (but not like garlic), and a glass of red wine. It all looked so professional it seemed like it was cut out of a magazine. Even the silverware was placed in what seemed to be a certain order, even if she had never bothered to learn the proper placement of that salad fork and the dinner fork and all of the rest of that nonsense.

"I thought I heard you come in," Jake said as he appeared from behind a corner carrying a glass pan that was layered with crumbs, chocolate pudding, and whipped cream. After he set the dessert down, he pulled out a chair for Amy and motioned for her to sit with a wave of his hand punctuated with a "M'lady."

"What is this?" She asked as she sat down, without taking her eyes off of him. Nothing could ever be this nice with Jake, unless he was planning some trick and wanted to take the heat off of his back. This had to be one of his schemes, and Amy was starting to get paranoid about what was sure to come.

"I promised you I would cook for you birthday," he reminded her with a goofy smile as if she was the one acting out of character. He seemed so sincere that she almost believed that it really was her that was being weird, but she caught herself. Jake was trying to trick her into dropping her guard by acting straight forward, but she wasn't falling for it.

When he took a seat beside her, it reminded her of all of the little things he did that she liked. It was much more noticeable at that moment when she was sitting at the head of a dining room table that was a couple feet long, but even at restaurant he would always take the chair adjacent to her instead of across from her. It was all of his little idiosyncrasies that just made him Jake, and everything Jake made her smile.

"You gonna try it?" He asked expectantly, and Amy was brought out of her thoughts with the realization that she couldn't prolong it any longer.

She swallowed her doubt and took a bite, surprising herself when she let out a moan.

She had no idea anything on earth could taste that good. She would never be able to cook up anything that tasted half as good in her life, and she was pretty sure her partner wouldn't be able to either.

"You can tell Boyle he can come out now," Amy said coolly as she took a sip of wine. Jake just grinned rather than give up the charade.

"No one is here but me and you, the whole time. Scout's honor," he swore holding up the three fingers with a broad smile on his face that made the gesture even less convincing. Still, she had made her accusation loud enough that she was sure that Boyle would have given his position away had he been in hiding, so she was pretty convinced that he was telling the truth they were at least _currently_ alone.

"Seriously though, this is amazing," Amy admitted as she took another bite. "Where did you get it from? We need to eat it more often."

"I promised you I would cook for your birthday, so I did. I made it all by myself," he maintained, completely dedicated to the cause.

"I don't believe you," Amy said with not even a hint of doubt.

Jake clutched at his chest, miming a shot to the heart as he fell back in his chair to complete the sentiment.

"Words cut deep, y'know?"

The look on his face was actually starting to make her believe him (still with a smile, but with an earnest smile rather than a snarky smile). Besides, she figured that if he really hadn't made the meal, he would have brought her in on the joke by now.

"If I check one more time, you're not gonna change your story?"

Jake wordlessly shook his head.

"If you can cook this good, why don't you do it all of the time?" Amy asked. She really couldn't think of a reason he would hide such a talent.

"It's no fun to do it alone," he shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

He didn't look sad, but his words struck her as such. Like he used to have someone to cook with until he lost that relationship or person somehow. He seemed to followed by a curse of just losing people- his father and Nana, and goodness knows how many 'friends' she had seen walk in and out of his life over the years. It wasn't even remotely fair because he had never done anything to deserve so many burned -or more like just erased- bridges. Amy was determined to never be someone he would lose.

"You're gonna teach me," she said in between mouthfuls.

"Hmm?"

"How to cook. I want you to teach me," she clarified.

Jake's face positively lit up at the thought, though he gave her a cursory look over trying to gauge her aptitude.

"I think you may be a lost cause," he teased.

"I don't care. You're gonna teach me, and you're gonna enjoy it."

"Yes ma'am," he said as he gave her a salute.

"All else fails, I could just watch," she leaned back into her seat to get comfortable. "Do you wear an apron?" She tagged on like it was just a random passing thought. Jake waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"If you'd like."

"I think we've got our Saturday planned out."

* * *

 True to his word, Jake answered the door to his apartment on Saturday wearing the pinkest, frilliest apron imaginable that Amy was sure he had bought just for the occasion. The spatula he had hanging out of the lacy pocket and the dish towel he had on his shoulder really tied together the whole look- not to mention the copious amount of bows running up and down the sides of the apron. It was all she could do to keep from laughing at the first sight of him.

He informed her that they were making chocolate chip cookies, because they were something that "everyone should know how to make" and that even she wouldn't be able to screw them up (which she highly doubted). She had never attempted to make them before, so she didn't believe it until she saw it with her own eyes that a recipe was literally written on the package of chocolate chips (which earned her some teasing).

"You know, you have four burners on your stove, but only a pot and a skillet to put on them? I bet you've never even used them. They were gifts, weren't they?" Jake had been badgering her the whole time about her lack of prowess in the kitchen, but she didn't mind a single bit. He was a surprisingly good teacher. Even though she had to go through seven of the dozen eggs before she could crack one properly, he waited patiently for her, and refused to help when she tried to give up- and she was actually kinda proud when she finally got it right.

For most of the time he was leaning back against the counter giving her simple directions with a smugness that was just wrong in how attractive it was on him. He appraised her with a look in his eyes that let her know he was appreciating far more than her cooking technique.

"What's that look for?" She asked without so much as a glance as she stirred the chocolate chips in.

"You're cute when you're trying so hard," he answered simply as he stuck his hand in the bowl to grab some dough, then popped it in his mouth.

"Eggs," Amy reminded him as he reached for a second bite, which he completely ignored. "It's not my fault if you get salmonella poisoning," she absolved herself.

"But the dough is the best part!"

She was just planning on ignoring him until she felt the first bit of dough hit her. She turned her head in disbelief to see Jake grinning at her with and handful of cookie dough that he was rolling like mini snow balls in his hands. She gave him a look that said 'don't you dare throw that at me' which he took no heed in and began pelting her.

Luckily the bowl of dough was between the two of them, because she was able to reach some ammo before he snatched it away with his cursedly long arms. She returned fire without even caring if she hit him in the face, and it didn't seem like he was holding back either. Before long she was empty handed while he had the bowl in her arms, so she looked around for something to arm herself with when her eyes landed on the bag of powdered sugar. She grabbed it without a thought and hurled the contents of the bag on him, leaving more a dusting of sugar on the floor and Jake covered in white. He blinked in surprise, and she held up the rest of the bag as a warning if he chose to continue the food fight.

"Truce?" He asked.

"Truce," she agreed. Amy stepped closer to him and licked the sweet powder of his lips and left him with a kiss.

"Now we won't have enough to cook them," she said in disappointment, referring to the half empty bowl of cookie dough.

"Yes we will. I doubled the recipe."

"You planned this!" She accused, aghast. Amy suddenly didn't feel so bad about wasting so much of the ingredients in a food fight that he carefully orchestrated.

"You can't say I'm not a forward thinker," Jake grinned without an ounce of guilt.

"You know, I'm not all that surprised," she sighed with a roll of her eyes as she took the bowl so they could move on and maybe get some cookies in the oven. She was sure the whole process wasn't supposed to take over an hour, which they had long since past- but she couldn't lie and say she didn't enjoy every second of it.

"You know me so well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter wasn't as painful to read as it was to write. I had to keep biting my tongue from all of the stereotypical parts, even though I loved adding them in.  
> I have also been reminded that Jake sold his car by the beginning of where this fic takes place in the canon timeline, which I can't believe I forgot (since I included the car in one of the early chapters). Don't know how I'm gonna get myself out of that one. Not sure if I should just ignore it and keep his rockin' car, or write it out in this fic to fix my mistake. Any suggestions?  
> I must say thank you to the lovely user killmotion, who has left so many kind comments (and also was the one who pointed out my car mistake). So thank you very much!
> 
> Hope you guys all have a good day!
> 
> PS. I was also trying to find out if there was actually a name for when you 'go limp on someone' as a joke like Jake did, but the internet and people I know were no help at all. Does anyone here call it something, if anything? I'm really curious as to if someone has any answers.


	16. Moving and messes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little long but so much fluff as they get into the possibility of moving in together.

“How does your place get so dirty so quick? Are you doing this just to spite me?” Amy asked as she gingerly stepped around the pile of junk that spilled out of the closest and onto the floor. When she first walked in, she hadn't even noticed Jake sitting on the floor surrounded by mountains of clutter that had apparently been shoved haphazardly into his closet for god knows how long. It bore more than a passing resemblance to debris scattered after an earthquake.

Though, to be fair, Jake did try. His place was in much better condition than before they started dating, so he was at least putting some effort in. She was a bit of a neat freak (she could admit that) but he had the Midas touch when it came to chaos. It was like a magic power- the speed that he could tear everything to wreckage without even trying. It was almost impressive.

He always had enough self respect to look guilty when he trashed the place after she had cleaned it again, and she couldn't fault him after he would come and talk to her while she set about to cleaning it yet again (though he said he wouldn't lift a finger as a form of protest- though he never had a solid answer for what he was protesting).

The mess that he was buried under was thankfully not actually trash, but was probably equally as worthless. Bits and baubles, trinkets and trifles, and absolutely nothing worth keeping.

“I was looking for something!” He tried to excuse himself as he stared up at her that immature look he got when he was so enthusiastic about something but frustrated because it wasn't working out like he planned. For such a such a specific look, he made it all of the time.

“Do you even know what this is called?” She asked as she dipped down to hold the purple object between her fingers.

“Uh, hard plastic square?”

“Floppy disk,” she corrected him, then sat down as close as the minefield of junk would allow. “What are you trying to find?”

“It's this red wooden box,” Jake held up his hands to show the approximate size of an average pencil box, “And I usually put it back in the fire proof box since wood is very not fire proof, but I guess I forgot last time. But I know it's in here somewhere.” Jake looked almost cartoonishly dejected and Amy had to stifle a laugh from how absurd it was that he created the whole mess on the floor just looking for some box.

“I'll help you look. What's the big deal about this box anyway?”

“It's not the box. It's what's _inside_ the box,” he huffed and she could tell that he worked very hard to keep out the duh that would have completed the sentiment.

“Well what's _inside_ the box?” She repeated his emphasis back to him in a teasing tone.

“It's a surprise.”

After about five minutes of pawing through the mess Amy was convinced that it would take hours to go through it all. Of course there were the piles of junk spread across the floor, but then there were boxes that were filled to the top with even more junk that she had to dump out to be able to properly inspect, creating an even bigger mess. And with every passing minute she was more and more sure that most of it was worthless.

“Jake, this is like a time capsule of trash. Why on earth did you keep all of this stuff? There's a 2004 year book from a high school in Arizona. Did you steal some poor kids year book? And you don't even have a VCR to play this,” Amy said disdainfully as she held up a VHS work out tape featuring Jane Fonda from the 80s.

“First of all, I have no idea how that year book came to be in possession, but I did not _consciously_ steal it. And second of all, you cannot deny bitch rocked those leg warmers.”

“Will you just tell me what's so important in this box so I actually have a motivation to sort through all of this?”

“I promise you'll like it. But if you want to be all ants in your pants you can do it somewhere else,” Jake pointed her off like she was a kid being sent to her bedroom, when he was technically pointing at his bedroom. Amy just rolled her eyes and threaded her hand through the nearest pile sending the top pieces tumbling down the slope.

And something metal the tumbled from the top stopped with a thunk against something hollow, but Jake didn't notice the noise. She dug through the trinkets and tapped her fingers against an object that was definitely wood. She pulled out a plain red wooden box that certainly fit his vague description, so she held it up to him.

“Is this-?”

Amy couldn't even finish the sentence before he snatched it out of her hands. So grabby. Jake didn't seem to even care that he had doubtlessly crushed some of his precious trinkets beneath his knees as he rushed to take it away from her, and he cleared a space in the floor in front of him and emptied the box.

Out came a stack of photographs. He spread them out clearly searching for a specific one, but he wasn't able to find it on first inspection. There were a quite a few that she realized were from his childhood- same goofy 12 year old grin but on an actual 12 year old that time, and others that she would ask permission to get a good look at later. For the most part the rest of them were probably from within the past 10 years with friends and coworkers she recognized. She was the last addition to the current team, so it wasn't a surprise to see pictures with Rosa, and Charles, and Terry making memories she didn't have with people she had never met. Still, compared to the rest of the sample size, a disproportionate amount of the photos contained events that she had been present for and participated in. There were photos of the whole gang (her included) at bars, or during Jimmy Jab games, and even some police seminars. And Amy had absolutely no recollection of a camera being ever so present at any of them.

She hardly even noticed Jake still discontent and muttering about something being missing.

“I think there's still some stuck to the bottom,” she pointed out helpfully when she inspected the box that he had so carelessly thrown aside, and the moment the words were out of her mouth he was already scrambling for it out of her hands. Talk about ants in his pants.

He dug into the sides of the box to grip the edges of the photographs and two came out. He tossed the top one away without a second thought. Jake looked so unquestionably satisfied by the bottom picture that Amy was just dying to know what was so important about it, but he soon handed it over to her with a beam.

It was of just the two of them sitting back and laughing at the bar the team had stopped going to about four years ago. It was taken long before they were anywhere close to a thing, but they looked so effortlessly happy together. The photograph itself was well-worn with a slight tear or two on the edges which she assumed meant he handled it a lot, even compared to the photos that were from years before she met him. Jake was right. She did like it. She loved it.

“Why are you showing me this now?” Amy asked softly. Of course she was glad he finally showed it to her, but she had to wonder why all of the sudden he wanted to. It wasn't any important anniversary in their romantic or working relationship, so she had no idea why he spontaneously decided to bring it out and worked so hard to find it.

“You were complaining yesterday about how no one has real photographs anymore,” he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world and that anyone who wasn't as sweet as him would have automatically done the same thing (which she knew wasn't true). “Man, you would not believe the trouble I had to go through to get that. Charles was the one who took it with his digital camera, but it was still to soon after what I still maintain was an accident for him to trust me with another one of his cameras to get it printed out. But I am not anything if not persistent.”

“Why not just get a digital copy?”

“Ames, this was like 2009. File sharing still sucked and I had to have the original copy on the memory card to get it printed.”

“No, why did you need to get it printed at all?” Her voice was still quiet, but Jake knew her well enough by now to remember she only got all soft and quiet when she was getting emotional, so it was obvious she loved it.

“You're the one who's always whining about the death of paperbacks and the curse of the digital age how people in the future won't know what it's like to turn an actual page. So like that, but with pictures.” He was smiling his sweet smile at her like she was something special while he looked more than adorable himself. “And I had to pay for all of the other ones from that night because I couldn't even admit to myself that that was the only one I wanted.”

“Next time you say you're a bad boyfriend cause you're not a sweet or romantic person I'm going to remind you of this and you're going to have to accept that you're wrong.”

* * *

 

**10 AM**

“You awake?” Amy whispered when she felt Jake shifting around more than usual. She was curled up in his arms under the covers that morning and realized it was odd that he moving around so early. Even if the sun was shining right on his face and all of the lights in the room were on, Jake was usually dead to the world till noon (at least).

“Possibly,” he whispered back and she smiled. Amy was definitely a morning person, but sometimes she just laid there next to him and relaxed into her thoughts for a while. It was nice for her to have a tranquil moment, and Jake was like a furnace and always made being under blankets much nicer and warmer.

“Do you wanna get a place?” She asked suddenly. She had been thinking about asking that question a lot lately, but she could never find a good time to work it into the conversation. She knew it was stupid to be so worried about a stupid question, but she was. Amy was glad her face was angled away from him because she wasn't sure if it reflected how nervous she was.

“Huh?”

“A place. Like an apartment or something.”

Jake circled his hand in her eyesight as a sign for her to elaborate. She knew it was her fault for asking him that early in the morning before he was fully awake, but she was still frustrated she had to spell it out for him (since she wanted to just get the whole thing over with as quick as possible).

“Do you want to move in together?” Amy huffed, but she was sure she couldn't be anymore direct with the question.

She had more or less expected an immediate reaction, so she was completely unsure what to do when she was met with silence. She wished she could see his face at that moment so she would have some clue if he absolutely hated or maybe kinda like the idea, but she was much too afraid to turn to him. Amy realized that she had asked the question too soon- Jake was always afraid of making the next step in relationships, and things were fine the way they were. She really should have waited.

“You know what? Never mind. You need your space and I need mine. It doesn't really-” She paused when he drew her closer and pressed a smile into her hair.

“You have no idea how nice that sounds,” he breathed in his sleep voice that always made her shiver.

“Really?”

“Yeah. But let's figure it out at like 2. It is way to early for me right now.”

Amy rolled her eyes when she looked at the clock and saw it was 10 AM, but she hummed her agreement and snuggled closer to him.

She was wide awake but completely content to just lie there with him.

* * *

 

**11 AM**

At 11 Jake drifted back awake, somehow managing to open his eyes early twice in one day.

“How long ago did we last talk?”

“An hour.”

“Have you been awake the whole time?”

“Yeah.”

At her answer he began moaning like a 5 year old who had been told to clean his room when all he wanted to do was play outside. She turned to face him to see his eyes still scrunched against the light with a full blown grimace that was soon covered by the blanket he pulled over his head.

“What? What's wrong?” Amy tried to yank the blanket away but his grip was too tight so she was stuck talking to her boyfriend through a cloth force field.

“You're making me feel guilty for sleeping in. Now I have to get up,” he whined, being way over dramatic, as per usual Jake Peralta.

“It's fine. It was nice just laying here with you, go back to sleep,” she assured him to no avail.

“Guilt. Overpowering. Reaching. Maximum. Threshold,” he said like a robot reporting a systems malfunction. Amy was about to smack him when he jolted straight up wide eyed “Aaaaaaannnnnd, I'm up.”

“Don't be stupid. Just go back to sleep.”

“Too late. Can't anymore. You're stuck with me.” With that grin and a total mess of bed head, when he offered his outstretched hand she couldn't refuse.

* * *

 

**11:15 AM**

“Do you really mean it?” Jake asked after he poured himself a bowl of cocoa puffs and took a seat at the table. Amy had already grabbed the milk for her coffee and set it down for him to fill up his bowl about a drop away from overflowing.

“Mean what?”

“Moving in. Not just one of those casual ideas of yours or something? Like really mean it, not just throwing it out there?” He was mindlessly pushing the spoon around in the bowl while milk sloshed over the sides and it was comforting to see he wasn't treating it like nothing (though he was trying to give the impression that he didn't think it was a big deal- but she knew him far too well by now).

“Yeah, I do. You?”

“I would... I would really like that,” he murmured staring down at the table, and Amy swore she saw pink cross what was visible of his cheeks. “I get that my place is too small, but you don't have to get rid of yours. I don't mind,” he paused but since he couldn't leave anything sincere standing for more than a moment without a joke he added “I mean I'll totally trick it out though. It'll be fresh to death by the time I'm through with it.”

“No, I really want it to be _our_ place. I don't want you moving into my place. I want us moving into our place.”

Jake nodded in agreement than lifted the bowl to slurp loudly at the left over chocolate milk.

“That is so gross.”

“Don't knock it till you try it,” he shot back with a milk mustache above his dorky smile.

* * *

 

“This is like the fifth one we've seen this week!” Jake whined as he flopped against the counter of the  _fourth_ apartment they visited that week. He really could not be less helpful. He never had any complaints about any places they checked out, and while it was sweet that he said he didn't care and just wanted her to be happy with it, she really wanted his input. Which he refused to give unless he was complaining how long it was taking for her to choose without his help.

“Let's just place all of the addresses inside a hat, mix em up, and then the first one we pick is the one we get, no take backs,” he suggested again that they pick it randomly, which he had started doing the third apartment they looked at a few weeks before. Last time he asked her to pick a random number between 57 and 122 and called her a spoil sport when she wouldn't play along.

“Don't be stupid,” Amy admonished him for what she was sure wouldn't be the last time. “While you may be used to defaulting on loans and leases, I'm not going to do anything remotely financial related just because you're impatient... you butt head,” she added with a smile and he groaned.

“Which ones did you like?” She asked as she trailed her hand down the walls to further inspect the place. It was by far the biggest one they had looked at. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a whole lot of open space. She wasn't sure why this one was her favorite, but it was. She reasoned that because it was so big his messes wouldn't be as noticeable, but she was sure that there was another reason.

“All of them. I liked them all,” Jake said as he followed behind her. “I don't know how many times I can say I don't care. I just want this to be done so we can spend our free time fucking instead of looking at places we _could_ be fucking.”

“What about this one? I like it,” Amy said as she turned back to face him. He was leaning against the wall beside him looking good in a way that only he could.

“What in the world do we need three bedrooms for?”

“Family,” she said instantly, but then caught the look in his eye and his cocked eyebrow when he clearly misinterpreted her statement. “I mean _family_. Like when they come over to visit. Like my brothers. I wasn't talking about us. Not like us and little kids,” she corrected quickly completely flustered, but it was too late. Jake just nodded at her warily like he was trying to discern something about her.

“ _Sure_ , Santiago,” he told her, obviously not buying it, but he was still smiling at her and teasing her.

“I really wasn't! I'm not talking about children!” She protested as she took a step towards him and he actually scampered off leaving her to chase him through the open floors. They made it to the kitchen island and he stood on one side and they circled around it while she tried to change directions all of the sudden to catch him, but he was too quick.

“It's alright, Amy. I ' _believe_ ' you,” Jake lied as he put air quotes around the word believe as she reached straight across and gripped his shirt but he twisted away too fast and pulled out her grip and ran into the other room. She backed him into a corner with no where to run and before he could try to push past her she tackled him to the ground and they both ended up laughing on the floor together.

“So, what do you think? Really?” She asked him in a moment of seriousness and he reached up to tuck the hair behind her ears.

“I like it. Room to grow,” he told her ambiguously before kissing her sweetly.

Of course she was all too happy to go back to spending their free time fucking too, but it was good to finally make a decision. She and Jake were going to get an apartment. They were going to get a home. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had the moving in discussion and apartment scene planned for like a week in advance, but when I sat down to write it out last night I decided to include like a sentence or two about how his place is always a mess, even though it's been better lately, and that whole part with the picture and all came out before I could stop it.
> 
> And I have some bad news and some good news.  
> Bad news: This fic will come to an end in a couple chapters. I'm not sure how many, but around 2-5 chapters will come the finale of Finally.  
> Good news: The story line of this fic will be continued under a separate name. The reason it's not continuing under this one is because the new one will be focused on pregnancy that begins a few months after the last chapter of Finally- so I wanted to separate them for people who hate preg fics and they'll still get the ending they deserve.
> 
> And more of an update I've started my 3rd current multi-chapter fic because I couldn't keep it in, so hopefully that won't slow down the updates on any of my other ones, but just keep that in mind if it takes forever to get the next chapter out of one that you're waiting on.


	17. Sick days

"Training day is by far the best cop movie in existence, and even I can't watch that three times in a row. Your obsession with die hard is unhealthy. Should I be jealous?" Amy cocked her hip with a smirk.

Jake was curled up on the floor in cocoon of blankets looking completely miserable as he rested his head on some pillows facing the TV screen.

For the most part, he had an unreasonably strong immune system- probably built up from all of the dirt he ate as a kid. If there was some sickness making its rounds through the precinct, he was the only one guaranteed not to catch it. And that meant that if something did manage to break through his defenses and actually make him sick, it was especially bad.

So he looked absolutely wretched crumpled up in a heap on the floor, cans of ginger ale spread around him like a moat and cracker crumbs scattered all about. Still, this really was the fourth time he asked her to replay his favorite movie, and she at least got him to agree to watch the second one this time. Amy was pretty sure there were five movies in the series, but he had a clear ranking that placed the first one as the best, and he only wanted to watch the best when he was feeling so awful.

Technically she could have just gone in the other room and waited for him to yell when he needed her, but she didn't want to leave him alone. He looked so _pitiful_. Play a Sarah Mclachlan song in the background and it would be enough for anyone to pull out their wallets for a donation. So she just sat behind him on the couch and read a book, but even so she couldn't handle hearing the exact same dialogue over one more time.

"I'm watching it with you, aren't I?" Jake contended as she took her seat back behind him and the copyright warnings started playing.

And even though Amy didn't like the fact that he was feeling bad, it did give her a good excuse to be idle.

It was nice to be quiet with him, like they did every so often (usually they were both feeling well). Just do their own things but be near each other at the same time. She had done it with other boyfriends before, but somehow it never felt quite like this. With other guys they'd both get wrapped up in their own little worlds and it would be like the other person wasn't there at all- completely unaffected. Which Amy didn't have a problem with since it was mutual. She thought that was how all relationships were. Of course you liked being and interacting with each other, but it was normal to be able to completely forget the other person was there if you let yourself.

She thought that was love. Being alone together, if you wanted to. She thought being able to disengage from each other whenever you wanted was how a relationship was supposed to be- their presence only made a different if you let it.

But with Jake, she finally realized what love was like.

She could always feel his presence. And things were always better when he was close. Amy couldn't ignore his affect even if she wanted to (which of course she never did). He just always set her mind at ease. Even if everything was perfectly fine before, Jake always improved every situation.

With anyone else (not just exes) she would have been able to detach herself without too much trouble- just block out the world. But never him. When they were together, she was always connected to something bigger than herself. She was a part of something better, the pair of them.

And it wasn't one sided, or even lopsided. She knew he liked doing his own thing by her than doing his own thing by himself. With other guys she never made a difference. But, to Jake, she mattered. He never made her feel forgettable, insignificant, or unnecessary. Her presence was an improvement too.

But their relationship was still healthy. They could survive without constant contact and didn't devolve into wrecks the moment they were apart. Not all clingy and diffident without the other's company. They could still enjoy themselves and have fun even if they hadn't seen each other for more than an hour. Jake had actually said something about it recently, though he used much more colorful terms. Something along the lines of 'you can get drunk on vodka alone, but it tastes a kajillion times better with some red bull mixed in.' and then proceeded to tell her she was his red bull, even after she informed him that kajillion was not a real number.

"I love you," Amy said simply. One of the great milestones in their relationship they had passed a while back was the strangeness of saying I love you. When they first started saying it, it was still weird and new and wonderful- so for at least the first 50 times it was a huge deal and always distracting (not in a bad way, but in a way where they couldn't stop smiling like idiots for half of an hour and didn't want to focus on anything else). But eventually they got to the point where it was just a normal thing to tell each other, and just as easily said as something like 'your shirt looks nice'. They got in the habit of saying it whenever they felt like or just when it popped into their mind, which was often. But just how regular and frequent it had become didn't make each time any less meaningful, and they never took it for granted.

"You too," Jake responded, and followed with worming his foot out of the tail of his blanket cocoon and rubbing hers with it.

Amy had a sudden thought that she could get used to this, and then realized that she already was. She was already accustomed to it, and would probably go through detox if it was somehow taken away. If the closeness and easiness of their intimacy were to suddenly disappear, that would be beyond jarring. That would be so disconcerting because she _was_ used to it.

She never pictured that she would find such contentment with something like this. It was so grown up and lovey-dovey and so boring, but she _loved_ it.

The whole scene was terribly domestic, and she didn't mind one bit. Amy didn't mind that she was spending the whole day as what her from a year ago would have described as a total waste and completely unproductive. She had never had happiness come so effortlessly. It was so mundane and tame, but she had absolutely no qualms about it. This was where she wanted to be. This was where she was meant to be.

Little Amy would have been furious if she could see her now. When she was younger she promised herself that she wasn't going to be one of those foolish people who got wrapped up in another person. She was going to be captain one day, and she didn't need something as silly as love slowing her down. She promised herself she wasn't going to fall in love. Preteen Amy wasn't an idiot though, but she only had plans to pencil in some romance on the weekends she wasn't busy as an adult. She wasn't going to grow up into one of those women who needed a man in her life. She was going to break the mold and be an independent woman, with nothing tying her down.

But it wasn't like that. She wasn't a woman who needed a man. She was Amy who needed Jake. And Jake needed Amy.

But she couldn't blame little Amy for her naivety. She never expected things to turn out like this, never even considered it as a possibility. She never realized how fulfilling and symbiotic real love could be. They kept each other grounded and were complete complements. They steadied the balancing act they had both always failed at before.

It wasn't complicated. This was it.

Loving Jake was the most natural thing in the world. This was where she was supposed to be, here, in this moment.

"You know, the first time you were going to be my nurse you were supposed to be wearing a short skirt and I was supposed to be able to move without feeling like I was going to throw up."

"Next time," she promised with a slight smile and a shake of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be dragging this out a little longer than I expected. I planned on only having 2 chapters after the last one, but I sat down and started writing it and came up with this one and another extra one, so hopefully these will be the last additions because I am so excited to get started on the follow up to this story.
> 
> Did anyone else have fun watching the super blood moon this weekend?


	18. Moms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy brings up the whole family introduction thing and learns that Jake has been keeping a secret from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivelisse is pronounce EE-vuh-lease

 "Is it weird we haven't done the whole parent thing yet? I mean, we knew each other almost a decade before we even started dating. I met your dad last time he was out, but I don't even know what your mom looks like. And you've met some of my brothers, and I guess my dad, but that was before we were together. And you still need to meet my mom too. Should we do that?" Amy asked one Sunday out of nowhere.

Jake knew this was going to come eventually. In the past she had told him about the schedule she had for once a serious relationship progresses far enough, and all of the stages that should have been reached by a certain time period. But their previous close-but-not-dating relationship screwed up her timetable since they had passed certain check points years ago and they happened all out of order- so she couldn't rely on her perfect plan.

"No, I've met your mom," Jake said as coolly as possible. Luckily he had a lot of practice keeping a straight face, because he had been waiting for this moment for way too long. The big pay off.

"No, you haven't."

They had just walked in the front door because Amy realized she had left something or another that Jake didn't care about at work, and she didn't want to go alone so she dragged him out of bed at 9 in the morning. She did buy him some doughnuts on the way, which he didn't think was a fair trade, but he didn't complain (any more than he normally would). Amy wasn't even looking at him, taking the time to hang up her jacket in the closet, even though he told her that it's so much easier to throw it on the ground or really anywhere else other than the closet.

"Yes I have."

"You're confusing one of your dreams with a memory again," she informed him without a hint of doubt. "I would definitely remember if you had."

"Amy, I've met your parents. Ivelisse and... I actually still don't know your dad's first name yet. He's still Mr. Santiago."

With that she whipped around and narrowed her eyes to give him her best intimidation look since she really did have a good memory and didn't remember telling him her mom's name (to be fair though, he never asked). It was the look she used on perps during interrogations that could get a confession alone without her even saying a word. He had his fair share of her intimidation stares, so he wasn't going to crack- even as she tried to force him into submission with her scary eyes.

"Tell me. Now."

"Me and your mom get coffee sometimes," Jake shrugged as if it was no big deal, even though it was painfully obvious that it was. "And talk on the phone. We gossip about you behind your back all the time."

"Please tell me you're joking," she begged looking utterly appalled. But it was no use since she could tell when he was lying by now. And he wasn't lying about this. He just shook his head and failed to hide his grin.

Amy frantically dug her cell phone out of her purse and dialed with a speed and efficiency that was impressive for even her. The call must have not even made it to the second ring when it was picked up.

"Mom, tell me you haven't been hanging out with my boyfriend without me," Amy practically demanded.

Her mom said something (that he guessed was about her rude opening judging by Amy's response): an exaggerated huff followed by the rushed and completely sarcastic "Fine, _I'm sorry_ , hellohowareyougoodmorningImissedyou Now answer my question."

Soon enough her mom corroborated his story, as he knew she would.

"Why didn't either of you tell me?!"

Amy had a look of disbelief and righteous indignation as she stomped over to Jake and slapped the phone into his hand begrudgingly. "She wants to talk to _you_."

Jake made a show out of just how friendly he was with her mom because with every minute the conversation dragged on he could see Santiago's composure being hacked away until it was clear that she was far beyond _contemplating_ murder. About five minutes in Amy slid her finger across her throat while mouthing ' _You're dead_ '.

"Oh yeah, she's furious," he confirmed her mother's suspicion. "And no, we're not busy today, so that sounds good. The usual place? See you soon."

He was sure that the only reason Amy agreed to get coffee with him and her mom was so she could tell and show them exactly how angry she was.

* * *

She refused to talk to Jake the whole car ride, which was a good 45 minutes, but he deserved it. He looked so pleased with himself, and she was too pissed off to drive safely, so she glared at him and his stupid smug grin the whole way.

It was all she could do to not punch him every time he used the phrase "long con" to describe it.

Jake and Amy were seated by the time her mother walked in, and he enthusiastically waved her over, then proceeded to greet her with a hug and call her "Iva."

And somehow that made the sudden sense of betrayal that much worse. They weren't just polite with each other, they actually liked each other. Jake and her mom were _friends_.

"So how are the interns doing? Brandon was having trouble a lot of trouble with setting up the IV last time, wasn't he?" Jake asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"How sweet of you to remember! Yes, he's almost mastered it by now. Just practice, practice, practice. It can never hurt to be too prepared."

Amy sulked and seethed watching the two with utter contempt. She knew that as a nurse practitioner sometimes her mom was saddled with the duty of babysitting the interns, but she had never had conversation about it as detailed as these two apparently had. She didn't even know any of the interns names. Or anything that had been happening with them. Just that it was that time of year again when they were shipped in.

"Oh Amy, don't pout," her mother chided her, even though it seemed like the two of them were getting along just fine without her.

"I'm not pouting," Amy pouted.

Amy had always been told she looked like her mother, but she never really saw it.

Her mom was beautiful. Always beautiful. Amy realized her own face was symmetrical and that she might be considered pretty by some standards, but her mom was actually beautiful.

Full lips and almond eyes that were so much lighter than hers. Her mom was so carefree compared to her that sometimes they seemed like opposites.

But they made the exact same expression when they were concerned. That's when Amy could look at her and know where she got it from. And at the moment the expression on her mother's face was like looking in a mirror, but she brushed past that without too much trouble.

"You two have been secretly meeting up. I'm mad at both of you. Him, I get. I expect this kind of stuff from him. But you, mom? Why?"

That was a tension filled moment between Amy and her mom that was nearly suffocating, but she was more or less used to this kind of standoff. She didn't get into arguments with her mother a lot, but when they did it was a waiting game to see who would give in first.

"And looks like that's my cue to get the coffee," Jake stood as he made a pathetic attempt to excuse himself, but it would be good for her and her mom to hash stuff out. She knew it wasn't the most mature thing to make such a big deal out of it, but she couldn't help it. She didn't like being lied to, and she didn't like secrets, and she didn't like how long it took her to figure it out. And she hated that she wasn't sure how long it would have taken her to find out if he hadn't outright told her.

"So how long has this been going on? Your little rendezvous? I can't imagine Jake could keep a secret for more than a week," Amy glared at Jake as he waved his fingers at her from the end of the long line to the register that was almost out the door.

"The first time I met him was at the beginning of February"

Amy's head immediately snapped to stare at her mother instead of the annoyance at the other side of the room. It was already September. There was _no way_ this had been happening for almost seven months without her ever realizing. Her earlier comment about a week was a bit of an exaggeration, but _one_ month would have been stretching it. _Seven_ months was unbelievable. But from the look on her mom's face, she knew she wasn't lying. About this, at least.

"You want to hear about what happened that time?" Ivelisse prompted, and when Amy's mouth didn't shut from its gape, she continued. "He was very nervous. He sounded well when we were talking on the phone, but when I first saw him I couldn't see the cool and cocky man you'd always described your partner as."

Amy blushed slightly because she was pretty sure she had never used the word _cool_ to describe Jake. Maybe 75% sure that she had never called him cool, especially not to her mother.

"Just a bundle of nerves. I wouldn't have guessed it was him until he walked up to me and said that I looked like you. As soon as we sat down he started talking a mile a minute. He said he usually messes things up and just talking bad about himself, and then about how much he didn't want to ruin what you had started. And he said how important you were to him and that he loved you."

* * *

**Some time in early February**

" _I'm not sure why I wanted to meet you alone," Jake admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck. It was kind of spring of the moment when he found Amy's mom's number and called her. It wasn't something he would usually do, take any sort of initiative in a relationship. Especially not one this new. He just had to do something preemptive before he ruined it all. It had been going great in the few weeks they had been together, but he knew himself better than to expect the trend to continue. Jake wanted to do something to prepare himself for- or even prevent- the ruining he was sure to do.  
"I guess I wanted to try and make a good impression. But I always make bad impressions. And so when I made a bad impression on you I wanted a chance to fix it before Amy found out that you hate me, because I know your opinion really matters to her."_

_Jake realized that it probably wasn't comforting for her daughter's boyfriend to keep saying how much of a mess he was and how much of a mess he was sure to make of dating Amy, but he was stuck on one of his rambling strings. He at least managed to stop using the word screw (changing it to mess) after probably the 15_ _th_ _time he said how much he was going to screw it up._

" _You're making a very good impression, Jake," Ivelisse assured him with a soft smile from across the table, and for some reason he actually was assured. In most cases like this he would brush off the words as someone being polite and go on worrying about whatever it was that he was worried about, but there was just something honest about her face. Amy looked a lot like her mom. She was a pretty lady, with much better people skills than her daughter, and she looked like a trustworthy enough person. But Jake had a suspicion that the reason he had the sense that he could trust her so implicitly was how similar she was to Amy._

_On the surface, they were actually pretty different. There was the more than obvious family resemblance, but their personalities almost seemed the complete opposite. Ivelisse was totally laid back and not at all what he would have expected her to be. Jake had kind of always expected that Amy got at least a bit of her exacting nature from one of her parents, and from what he knew of Mr. Santiago it definitely wasn't from him, so that left Mrs. Santiago. But Ivelisse was one of the most at ease and confident people he had ever met. And not even the cocky confidence that Jake had sometimes, and had to fake the rest of the time. She was just truly self confident._

_Jake was now 99% sure that Amy was born a perfectionist, through and through._

" _Of all of the men my daughter has dated, you're my favorite so far- and it would take a lot to change that."_

" _Why?" Jake asked, trying to hide how much her statement took him by surprise._

" _You're sweet, and it's more than easy to see that you care about her. Amy's past boyfriends have tended to lean on the formal and distant side of the spectrum, but you're genuine. When you said you loved her earlier, I didn't doubt it for a moment. And you shouldn't worry about messing up, Jake. Amy's a smart girl and knows what she's doing. She always makes good decisions, and if she chose to be with you that means she doesn't think you'll screw it up." Ivelisse paused a moment to let her words sink in, but Jake didn't think they could go any deeper. "If Amy believes in you, you should trust her and believe in yourself too."_

_Jake definitely didn't expect it to go this way. Somewhere on the line of horrible to bad to okay. He didn't even consider the fact that this first meeting would actually go... well. They talked for about half an hour more before they were parting ways, and while he still wasn't his usual composed self, he was comfortable enough to actually carry on a conversation rather than be anxious the whole time._

" _And please don't tell her I said that," he requested as they were walking out the door together. "The whole love part. I haven't told her yet, and I just want it to be at a good moment."_

_He let out a sigh of relief when she agreed. Amy probably wouldn't be too happy about him being all secretive about the meeting, but he decided he would wait to let her know until after he told it to her. The whole love part. He was working up to telling her he loved her, and he was going to do it soon. And he definitely wanted to be the one to tell her, not her mom or someone else. Jake was going to tell Amy he loved her._

* * *

Amy noticed that there was a bit of a rush behind the coffee counter that seemed to be caused by a problem with the machines. Which she was more than thankful for, because if he wasn't held up, Jake surely would have interrupted the story or tried to minimize it out of embarrassment. He was still at the back of the line due to the commotion and the illusion of progression had come to a complete halt, so she was sure she had a bit more time.

She knew that he had probably spent way too long trying to get her attention, but her back was turned to him the whole time as she was engrossed in her mom's story.

It was hard to stay mad when her mom described their first interaction. By now she knew that more than a little bit of Jake's cockiness was just false bravado, but it was still unusual to see him completely bare (and how her mom described it, she really could see the scene). It really was incredible how little faith he had in himself sometimes. He was extremely and sincerely confident in himself in most portions of life, but he was convinced he was an utter failure at relationships. She knew that the closest friends Jake had were their coworkers, and that they were the only constants he had. There were friends he'd reconnect with over the years, or new ones he'd make, but they all faded eventually. She was pretty certain that he wasn't so close to everyone at the nine nine because it was a friendship forced out of the situation, but that he only allowed himself to get close when he was sure they wouldn't leave if something went wrong. If he did something wrong.

And that wasn't even to mention dating relationships. He used to wear his track record like a badge of honor, and sometimes he could time how long it would last (a conversation, a date, a relationship) before it even started. She realized now that some of the times he'd make a bet with her against himself were to make her laugh, and for a good portion of those times he'd been thinking of her (he'd told her as much). But even before the whole romantic tension started between them he never seemed too bothered when things fell apart, like he knew it would happen. Sometimes he even looked relieved, like he was just waiting for the breakdown.

Amy was pretty sure she'd seen that side of him when they first got together. Not the relief or the indifference, but the waiting. She would sometimes catch the look on his face that he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, because he was sure it was coming soon.

She didn't know when he lost it. She couldn't remember the last time she saw it, just that it was a long, long time ago. Not too long after they said they loved each other the first time. She'd almost forgotten about that look.

Instead it was replaced with all of these new and wonderful expressions that began to grace his face. When all of his doubt was replaced with certainty.

Though, according to the new time frame Amy was presented with, their worst date ever took place weeks after his first meeting with her mother. And of course it took him weeks to find what he deemed a 'good moment' to say he loved her, because that was just so him.

"Okay," Amy sighed with an exasperation built on affection. "That's one time. All the others?"

"He seemed like he needed some family. He didn't have a very close home life when he was young, did he?" Ivelisse asked thoughtfully, and Amy shook her head in response.

"I see it a lot at work. Patients, nurses, doctors, _interns_ ," her mom said with a wry smile. "Just people who missed out on all that family can give you. And sometimes it's easier and sometimes it's harder to work in that parental affection to people who deprived of it- and sometimes it comes down to if the person will accept it, but you know I try. And after I met Jake I couldn't help but think that he really needed that type of approval, so a week or two later I called him up to meet again."

Amy wasn't sure if it was weird that her mom felt the need to give her boyfriend parental affection, and she wasn't sure if it was weird that she was actually thankful for it. Her mom was a compassionate person (unlike Amy) so she was more or less used to her acting as a substitute mother for all of the neighborhood kids, and some kids that neither her nor her brothers knew would stop by just to say hi and get advice from her. Still, she had never gone into full on mother mode around one of Amy's boyfriends before. And yet, it didn't bother her at all.

"You should start a family with him," Ivelisse suggested suddenly.

"Mom!" Amy coughed and choked on air, and luckily she hadn't even gotten her coffee yet, because if she had it would probably be sprayed all across the table at that moment. She spun her head around to see if Jake was anywhere in earshot, and luckily he wasn't. He was still in line, though apparently the problem was fixed since he had advanced a bit closer. He was staring at his phone, and Amy was glad he wasn't looking at her in that moment.

"He would be good for it, no? Husband, father," her mom pried when Amy turned back to face her. She chewed on her lip before answering.

"Yeah, he would," she finally admitted quietly as she snuck another look at him. She couldn't lie and say she had never thought of it. She pictured a ring on his finger sometimes, the one that was so very empty at the moment when he scrolled through his phone. She pictured a kid next to him on more than one occasion, one that looked like the best of both of them mixed together. A kid with her eyes and his smile.

She wasn't sure how realistic it was, but it was a nice picture. One that she was far too fond of.

"You're good for each other. You used to be such a wanderer, Amy. Always drifting. I didn't know Jake before you started dating, but when I first met him he still seemed a little lost. And I see both of you now. You're not wandering anymore. And Jake is clearly happy now, happy with where he is and with himself. I'm not going to flatter myself and think that our chats did all of that. You've both found something to stay for."

"Mom, when did you get to be so wise?" Amy asked after contemplating her words. She didn't want to admit she was right because Amy was stubborn by nature, but she could tell when she was beat. "You sound like a fortune cookie. Or a horoscope."

"One thing I've always known about was love, mijita," she informed her with a tsking noise. "But until you experienced it for yourself I knew you wouldn't listen to what I had to say. So I haven't been able to tell you my wisdom till now."

"Mom, I've dated before," Amy reminded her flatly.

"Dated, not loved. Not like this. I can see it. You can't look at him and tell me you've felt this way about someone before."

That was Amy's cue to turn around once again and look at Jake. He finally made it to the front of the line and was getting out the money to pay for her order that he'd known by heart for years. Jake who wanted so bad to make sure that they worked out that he actually called her _mother_. Jake who made her laugh. Jake who loved her.

Amy was silent, because she knew her mom was right.

When Jake turned and saw her staring he smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. He carried the three cups over with ease as he had long mastered the art of carrying way more than a normal person, because god forbid he would ever have to make two trips.

"You look way less pissed," he observed as he took a seat. "Quick, Ivelisse, tell me what you said. I need to write it down for future arguments."

"I'll tell you later," Amy promised with an eye roll and he directed his grin at her. The grin she wanted to see for the rest of her life. "You guys still could have told me. Seven months. C'mon," she shook her head at the absolute ridiculous of the two, but still smiled.

"I never get to surprise my detective daughter anymore. You used to believe anything when you were younger, but now you're too smart and cynical to be surprised by anything, so it was fun. Think of it as a lesson to keep in contact with your mother more. My daughter's boyfriend told me they were dating a month before my own daughter did."

* * *

"So what did she say to you? You're in a better mood than before you found out you were ' _betrayed'_." Jake made air quotes around the word betrayed as if his voice dripping with sarcasm wasn't enough to show how ridiculous he thought her word choice was. He'd been dying to know what secret words Ivelisse had uttered because he had never seen such a quick reversal in her mood when she was that pissed off before.

The second he walked back with the coffee it was clear that she was completely over it. The three of them continued on the conversation for a good 30 minutes and when he and Iva would tease her about the whole thing they were only met with an eye roll or a huff and a smile. All fine and dandy, even holding his hand over the table and elbowing him at the appropriate moments.

But Amy still wouldn't tell her what her mom said, not even on the 45 minute drive home.

* * *

"I never lied," Jake maintained on the drive back. "I mean, technically by omission, but that doesn't count. That's not even a white lie."

"Do tell how you managed to only technically lie for months about secretly meeting up with my mother. I'd love to hear it," she challenged with a smirk.

He had been bothering her the whole time about what her mom said when he was getting coffee like he was expecting some sort of spell that would work every time to make her happy. Amy knew he was dying to know but he deserved to have to wait it out at least a little while.

She could have told him right then and there, but she wanted him all to herself when she told him- not him trying to concentrate on driving and her. She was sure he was going to get all bashful when he heard, and she wanted to be in optimal position to kiss him and see his embarrassed face close up.

Jake had certainly gotten much better with the 'mushy stuff' over time, considering how when he first said he was interested in her he used the term 'romantic-stylez' but there was still stuff that would set him off and get him back to the old Peralta of a year ago who was only half joking when he said girls had cooties. Sometimes the things that made him flustered were innocuous remarks that seemed to only prompt that response cause he was just in that mood that day. The one thing that was sure to set him off was if Amy ever found out something from before they were dating that showed just how sincere he was in his feelings for her. And technically this instance happened after they started dating, but it was still in the same ballpark so she was looking forward to it.

"Like when you'd work on Saturday's sometimes and asked me what I did that day I would just say I just met up with a friend, which was totally true because me and your mom are like this," he said as he crossed his fingers. "Not like this," he held his index and middle finger together straight up, then crossed them again "Like this. Total bosom buddies. Your mom's giving Charles a good run for his money."

"Please never use that term to describe your relationship with my mother again," she shuddered.

"And it was great when we started meeting up for early evening coffee cause then I could say that I was going out for a drink with a _buddy_ ," Jake said, narrowly avoiding a flick from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, yet another chapter up! Why Finally is getting so many updates back to back is because this chapter, and the one before it (ch 17 where Jake was sick) and ch 19 following this one were all supposed to be one chapter, until I actually typed it all out and added more and more until it overflowed. And I keep adding more, so 19 might not be out for a day or two. So sorry about that.
> 
> I was looking up names on some website or another to find names for her mom and I was trying to find some Cuban names that were popular in the right age range when I actually saw a name that I recognized, so I had to go with it. Long story short the Ivelisse I know is the mother of a boy who was in my 4th grade class and somewhere along the way she got a new job and has been the receptionist at my Dr's office for the past few years, we're more acquainted than that, but like I said- long story short.
> 
> I know I didn't provide much character development for Amy's mom, but I don't have anything else planned for her so I'll work on it if I need to in the future.  
> I also really wanted to downplay my ignorance by not butchering the Spanish language or Cuban culture, so I literally only used 2 Spanish things at all, and I don't know if the second one even counts much.  
> There was the mijita of course, and then her phrasing of the question when she asked her if Jake would be a good husband, and that's all my 4 months of Spanish in high school left me with.  
> American Sign Language all the way! That was what I actually ended up using as a foreign language credit in high school, but I digress.
> 
> Please leave your thoughts on how this went down, cause I'd love to hear them!  
> And maybe let me know what you thought of ch 17 too because I was actually pretty unsure about putting that one up as a standalone chapter, even though it would have been way too long to hook onto this one. Good choice? Bad choice? Cheesy choice?  
> And your thoughts on this chapter too. Did I make you feel and feels? Cause I was going for that. Let me know if I was successful.
> 
> Edit: Thanks to firewordsparkler for spelling mistake correction :)


	19. Expressing affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a fun and fluffy chapter in all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Direct follow up from last chapter, but quick rerun: Amy's mom said something to her that immediately put her in a better mood and Jake had been dying to know what it was.

 “You're awfully kissy,” Jake noted after she pushed him down on their couch and, well, kissed him. “Kissier than usual.”

Which, even though using words she would never use herself, was an apt description of how she was during the moment. Amy could admit that while she was a pretty _tactile_ person most of the time, this was a lot even for her. All the hand holding and mussing up his hair on the drive home and the more than enthusiastic way she pushed him on the couch. Sometimes it just wasn't fair how much she needed to feel him, even if it was at the most inopportune moments. And whenever he was looking all goofy at her with lips that were just begging to be kissed, she couldn't resist.

“Just tell me what she said,” he whined and pulled his lips away from hers. It was one of the annoying things about him. Jake was pretty quick to get worked up in most cases, but if there was ever a surprise or secret on the line it was the only thing he could concentrate on. One track mind.

“She just told me what you said the first time you guys met. That you loved me and stuff.”

“Oh,” Jake went blank faced, clearly unprepared for the answer. “She wasn't supposed to tell you that.”

And then he got the pink in his cheeks that she had expected and made him look beyond adorable, before he initiated a kiss with her that Amy knew was just an attempt to hide his face.

“Hey,” she whispered and pulled back to hold his adorable, adorable face and look him in the eyes.

He was still pink cheeked, and doe-eyed, and every other part about him that she was so glad to see every day. Everything about him was amazing, but his face was in a class of its own. The way his lips upturned during their ever present teasing, his eyebrows that were always a code for exactly what he was thinking at the moment, his nose that scrunched up whenever he dutifully tried some of her cooking, and his eyes that were always bright. She didn't really know the meaning of the word unconditional until she was with him.

His face was good enough to begin with, but now she couldn't see anything but love when she saw it.

Amy didn't think anyone could manage to not fall in love with a face that looked at them like Jake looked at her.

“I don't know why you still get embarrassed about stuff like that. It's so great to hear.” She was more reassuring him than scolding him. It didn't really bother her that much. He still tried to hide sometimes, but now he was running to her instead of away from her- and that was really all she could ask of him.

“Habit?” Jake offered with that playful smile of his that was never long gone. “I'm pretty sure being uncomfortable with emotions is inbred in me.”

“And I'm pretty sure you mean ingrained.”

“That too.”

This time when he kissed her, it was just that. It wasn't an attempt to hide, just trying to be closer.

“Seriously though. Hearing about how cute you were before we became us is great and always makes my day. Even though you're still cute,” Amy amended before he could protest her word choice (she could already hear the offended 'hey!' bubbling up in his throat).

“How come I never get to hear any stories about you?” He asked, and she actually had to think on that one. She couldn't remember any cases off the top of her head that she knew about, and he definitely would have told her before if she wasn't there to witness him learning about.

“Well, I did spend a whole lot of time trying to convince myself that I didn't want anything close to romantic stylez with you, so that held me up a bit.”

“Aw, c'mon. You've gotta have something for me, Ames. Just one little story saved up,” Jake prompted as his fingers crawled up her arm. When he pulled out the puppy dog eyes she knew she was done for.

Amy actually felt bad. She was just telling him about how great it was to hear about all the amazing sweet stuff he did and when he wanted to hear just _one_ story she couldn't even think of anything. There were little things, but not anything near grand of gestures. Though she was using the term 'grand' loosely, he always tried. Even if he was doing stuff that was best summed up as 'silly' it was always great.

And it wasn't fair cause that was just how he was naturally, without even trying. Amy knew the disparity was all in her head but that didn't stop it from bothering her. And it didn't bother him at all. She did the little things consistently, and Jake always let her know he appreciated it.

Like setting up the coffee every morning. Like when she puts the blankets in the dryer for a few minutes as a surprise before throwing them on top of him and he buries himself in the sudden and unexpected 'toastiness'. And when he got a little too invested and wrapped up in a case she'd make sure he got an adequate amount of sleep in an actual bed.

Not to forget the whole mess of his finances that she was attempting to solve (progress was slow, but steady).

Amy knew that that wasn't nothing. Jake made sure she knew that. But he did little things and big things, while she only managed little things. She wanted to make at least some of the grand gestures. But she wasn't creative or imaginative at all. And when she tried to research some good ideas (Jake never had to research) every suggestion just felt trite and cheap.

“You're the sweet one in the relationship,” Amy reminded him with an apologetic tone.

“Fine then. Tell me a secret. Nothing to do with me. Something you've never told anyone before. I'm in the sharing mood,” Jake said with a smile. It wasn't a request or a demand, but just an invitation. It was unfair that anyone could be this perfect.

Years back she never would have guessed that she would be this lucky. To have all of his happiness directed at her. She never dared to imagine the reality she was currently experience. The reality of Amy kissing him on the forehead while she tried to think, and hearing the sigh of contentment that left him from the contact.

Though to be fair, she wasn't even ready to admit to herself she liked him back then. And whenever she caught herself staring she berated herself because it was _impossible_ for her to like him. She wouldn't let herself. Whenever she found herself going over his reports back then she reasoned that it would save her time if he wasn't reprimanded for mistakes or made to fill them out again actually legible that time (which he always did as slowly as possible whenever he was forced too). She didn't tell anyone she was doing that. Much less him.

Amy wasn't sure when she stopped lying to herself and actually accepted she liked his company (and even to herself she wouldn't admit how much). When she finally realized it she stopped doing anything nice that didn't have a logical explanation behind it (and covered up the evidence when she found herself doing it anyway). So if she ever did any little thing that he had a hope of discovering, she kept her mouth shut. And years ago she didn't even tell him one of the best things she did because she _absolutely_ could not let him find out, so she didn't tell anyone. She always hid everything from everyone so no one could comment on the feelings she absolutely did _not_ have for Jake at the time.

At the memory she realized she didn't find a big thing she did. She found a _huge_ one.

“Oh. My. God.”

“What?” Jake asked.

“Oh my god, how could I forget? That was the greatest thing that happened year. I have something! I have something I did for you that you have no clue about! How in the world did I not even think of that?” She had an uncalled for sense of pride and excitement for it, but it was a pretty awesome thing. Not something weird or nerdy, but an awesome thing that Amy Santiago did all by herself. She could have (and probably should have) told him a long time ago but it was like someone erased her mind, cause she didn't think of it even once during the period that she definitely should have told him (the whole dating thing).

“Four years back. Something happened. And you never found out who did it. You never solved it,” she teased him and god did it feel good. By the look on his face she had pushed him passed mere curiosity and anticipation. Not only was Amy so excited to tell him, but her teaser made it apparent that it was one hell of a secret. And Jake always was a sucker for surprises.

“I'm gonna need a little more to go on. The time frame of four years means absolutely nothing to me in terms of memory.”

“I thought you were going to figure it out eventually, but you never did. You can never say I'm a bad actor ever again. I don't even remember what started it, but you were mopey for weeks. And everyone tried cheering you up but nothing helped, so I did it. And it was a huge success as you'll recall.”

And Jake was still looking to her for a little bit more to go on and she relished the moment.

“I sent you that glitter bomb.”

Amy had expected maybe some surprise and disbelief, but instead she was met an immediate dismissal.

“Did not, you liar. I really thought you had something good. You got my hopes up, you big meanie,” he pouted the poutiest pout he had ever pouted in his life.

“Oh but I did. You know I archive all my emails. It'll take me 15 minutes tops to find the receipt.”

“I'm not falling for that. You didn't do it. Amy Santiago would never have done that,” he stated with absolute certainty. He kept his hand on her lower back and moved his other to lightly grip her hip to let her know she was supposed to stay. Without the signal they both knew she would have gotten up to get her laptop- Amy knew it would be to prove herself right, but Jake thought it would be a play at trying trick him for a little bit longer.

“That package came at work. You never would have let anything like that within 50 feet of you. You _hate_ glitter. You said it was a curse the day someone decided it was a good way for a kid to express creativity. Years after everyone had heard that herpes joke and it somehow passed you by, when you first heard the comparison you just shook your head and said it was accurate. You wouldn't risk all the sparkles getting stuck in your keyboard and god knows where else. Amy Santiago would never have done that. And it was one of those spring loaded ones that you would have recognized instantly if you ordered it, and there was _no way_ you would have let me open it at my desk and basically your desk if you knew. And even if you mistakenly sent it to work instead of my apartment- which I know you wouldn't cause you still double check the address every time you buy something on amazon after years and I'd still drag glitter to work anyway- you would have recognized the name cause I brought it over because I couldn't believe that anyone on earth was actually named-”

“Richard Palmer,” Amy finished for him. She knew she had the smuggest look on her face, but she deserved to be smug. Especially when Jake's mouth literally dropped.

“No,” he gasped with wide eyes when he finally believed her. “No! No no no no no no!” He hit her on the arm with each denial until she had to grab his hand to stop him.

“ _You_ were Dick Palmer?! After I opened it I realized the name was too perfect to be real, but- Amy! Amy! How could you never tell me!”

Jake was positively gleeful at the revelation. His eyes were shining and he couldn't hide his surprise or his smile, and she loved it.

“And why?” He asked before she even had time to answer his previous question. “Why did you send it to work? And why did you let me open it on my desk when yours was right there? I still find random pieces of glitter to this day!”

“I wanted to see your face,” Amy answered, simple and true. “You were talking a few weeks before about this website where you could send people glitter anonymously in envelopes so they'll rip it open and it'll get everywhere. And I made you swear to never do it to me, and you said it wouldn't work anyway cause I used a letter opener 'unlike the _rest_ of humanity'. And then you got all mopey and nothing could bring you out of it. It was clear you thought it was the greatest thing ever at the time, and you obviously weren't even aware that they could be spring loaded so you couldn't have even begun to suspect it when you saw it.”

“Hey!” Jake whined too little too late (four years to be exact) when he really started thinking back to everything that had happened during the glitter bomb case. “You made me clean all that up! And got all mad and blamed it on me! When it was you the whole time!”

“Don't say it wouldn't have been suspicious if I reacted any other way, cause you know that's a lie.”

“You made me clean for hours! You made me vacuum! Who in their right mind vacuums a tile floor?”

“Oh yeah, glitter really is the worst,” she said, completely sincere in her disdain. “I wasn't going to risk anymore of it getting on me than what was absolutely unavoidable. And sweeping and vacuuming still didn't get it all.”

At that his face softened from disbelief and outrage into amazement and affection. In light of the new information her despisement of glitter had been called into question, even though if he had more time to think about it he would have realized she hated glitter for years before _he_ had even heard of the idea. So she wouldn't have faked her absolute hatred for the stuff. It was the bane of her existence.

“Was it worth it? Knowing how long the precinct was haunted by the ghost of Amy's prank? Would you do it again?”

“My only regret is that I didn't film it. You should've seen your face. And it worked too. After you got over the shock you stopped being all Eeyore and went into full out investigation mode. And you finally gave up trying to figure out who it was after _months_. You kept coming to me with your suspicions and you interrogated your friends and your enemies and finally gave up when no one would admit to it. And I kept a straight face the whole time, so now you can't ever tell me that I'm unfit for undercover work cause I'll break character again.”

At her jab he went back to being outraged. Not exactly outraged, but that was the closest word to it. It was one of those emotions where you're a little mad at someone you love, but you're so dumbfounded by them that you're not even close to _really_ being upset. Amy felt that a lot with Jake. He would do something incredibly stupid (a lot of the times trying to impress her) and it would blow up spectacularly- and Amy would be left just shaking her head in disbelief and not even trying to hold back her laughter.

“Four years, Amy! Four years! Why haven't you told me that before?”

“I really haven't thought about it even remotely lately,” she shrugged despite his doubtful look. “Do you really think I would've waited until this very moment to tell you if it had even crossed my mind recently? I would have loved to lord it over you if I had even remembered it until now. I wouldn't have waited to see this reaction if I was thinking about it. Talk about 'the long con'.” She quoted him, much to his displeasure.

Jake frowned even after she kissed him on the forehead. He was a little mad still, but he would get over it in no time at all. And it was so enjoyable to see him sulk and glare at her (and the teasing certainly didn't make him any happier).

She knew that her gloating was getting a little out of control, but she couldn't help it. Her prank was the one that got away, and Jake (the self titled 'prank master') finally knew that it was her. Amy was smiling so wide that she was biting her lip in an effort to contain it, but it was an utter failure.

“You'd better be careful,” he warned in a familiar, low tone that made her shiver. The tone that always made her stomach drop in anticipation, because it meant that it was going somewhere, and it was going quick. “If you keep doing that I'm gonna bite it for you. And I'm not gonna be able to go easy on you.”

And Amy loved it. She loved it when he couldn't, or refused to hold himself back. And she loved that tone.

“Promise?” She taunted, following up with licking her lips before biting down slow and deliberate.

Jake pulled her to him hard and fast, intent on keeping his 'promise', and prove he wasn't exaggerating. When he had her lip he bit down the hardest he had ever done, and in turn she moaned the loudest she had ever moaned.

She was glad she hadn't told him until now, even though she really was telling the truth when she said she hadn't thought about it in forever. She was glad she hadn't, cause his reaction was to die for.  
Especially when paired with this ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm neglecting Marco Polo and the Boy Next Door, and I'm really sorry for that. I'm just so freaking excited for the conclusion of Finally that I have literally had planned for over 2 months. And I keep thinking that next chapter will be the last chapter  
> (technically the last 2 chapters, since I have the conclusion fully planned and the chapter before that it a vignette chapter that I also have completely planned out)  
> But then I have an idea, and I'm like- I've gotta include this before the ending. It has to go in. And then this ends up going on and on.  
> And I really hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure I have 2 ideas that I'm going to smoosh in that'll each take their own chapter before my planned ending.
> 
> And the whole glitter bombing thing took me way too long to come up with. I was asking my good buddy and the ever lovely Jasmine (J.4.5.M.1.N.3 over at fanfiction.net) if there were any in show incidences where Amy did nice stuff like Jake in canon, and even she couldn't think of anything.
> 
> I may only have 7 posts on reddit after a year, but you'd better believe 3 of them are Brooklyn Nine Nine related.  
> I really need to learn how to reddit. It took me way too long to figure out if it was even 7 or 8 posts in all since I messed up the first frickin' one a year ago.  
> Basically, what I'm getting at, if you check the B99 subreddit with any frequency and my inquiry into canon examples of sweetness seemed a bit familiar, it was me that asked the question “When Jake and Amy do secretly do nice things for each other” last week.  
> I caught the typo afterward, but I don't know how to fix it.  
> I told you I needed to learn how.
> 
> After Jasmine couldn't think of any examples (when she's got B99 *down*) reddit was the only place to turn.  
> And after all that trouble I went and made up my own. Hence the glitter bombing.
> 
> And the glitter STD comparison is from a quote of Demetri Martin  
> “The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever cause glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”
> 
> I felt bad for not knowing it was from him when I actually own 2 of his books. But it's one of those jokes that your friend tells you after seeing it on facebook when everyone with an internet connection has heard it at least 10 times before.  
> Anyway, go watch his special on youtube called 'what if' cause it's fantastic.  
> He's an incredibly smart and nerdy comedian, and I have no doubt that he would be Amy Santiago's favorite by a landslide.


	20. Homes and puzzles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in and lame hobbies

Jake didn't think moving in together would be this complicated. He thought the worst part was how long it took to find the place. He knew there'd be papers and stuff and a little bit of work, but this was way more than 'a little'. This was a lot of work- an overwhelming amount of work, and it wasn't just him that thought that. Amy knew him. She knew that anything that involved him was going to be at least 50% more troublesome than any other human being on earth. And she knew that anything that involved him and _money_ was going to be 500% more troublesome than any other thing in the universe.

So she was expecting the trouble, and knew without a doubt that there would be trouble before jumping into it. She just hadn't expected _this_ much trouble, cause it was a lot.

Jake's last move was easy. And that was the root of the problem.

Jake was subletting from Gina but they hadn't even attempted to figure out the proper procedure for it. Amy was appalled when she found out what they had actually been doing.

Basically, they hadn't done a thing. Just physically moved their stuff and switched places. His name was still the one on Nana's place, and vice versa for Gina.

As for payment: Gina would remind him to transfer money to her at a regular basis and she would do the same for him and they would pay the bills. Technically they could have factored out Jake's payment to Gina (for the subletting) in her payment to him since the price of his original place was more expensive, but they wanted to avoid the math so they...

It sounded more complicated than it was when you put it into words.

It was easy, and it worked, so there was never a problem before.

Sure, they had to trust that they wouldn't screw each other over, but it was more like mutually assured destruction.

And even though they joked about bringing each other to financial ruins with an unsettling frequency, it was never really a worry. So Jake didn't see what the big deal was when he finally told Amy exactly what had been working for months.

But she flipped out.

Went on and on about how he should have said something ages ago, and at the very least when they started looking at apartments. And when she calmed down she very condescendingly told him that she wasn't yelling because she was mad at him (and that she knew it wasn't his fault), she was yelling because she was mad at herself for trusting him.

So that had put a bit of a damper on things- but since she was on his team, the situation (or disaster, calamity, pandemonium, or whatever synonym she decided to use that day) was under control just shy of a month.

When anyone who did not have their very own, personal Amy Santiago would've been dealing with the aftermath for years. Jake knew he was lucky cause there was a short supply of Amy Santiagos in the world (and he had got the last, and only, one in stock).

* * *

It wasn't until they were _unpacking_ that it hit him. They had put their whole lives in boxes, shipped them down the road (metaphorically of course, because god forbid any part of this whole process be easy), and got all those boxes to the completely new, open and empty space before it hit him.

Jake realized that this was actually the first place of his own.

The first portion of his life was spent under his mom's roof (like most minors). And then there were the two years of hell spent with two good friends and a third roommate that they swore was totally cool (he wasn't. At all). Next was Nana's, and while he only started living there after she died, it never really felt like his. Gina's was after that and he obviously wasn't attached since he still referred to it as Gina's in his head.

And finally, he was here.

He didn't realize at the time how great it was that Amy insisted on them getting a new place. If she hadn't it would have once again been Jake moving into someone else's home, which he didn't really mind. But he also didn't realize how incredible it would feel for Jake and Amy to move into Jake and Amy's home.

Like this wasn't just a stop in the road. He was planning on staying.

And he had the best roommate in the world now, and she was staying too.

Even if she would no doubt hit him if he ever referred to her as his roommate. Amy couldn't change the facts. She was his bunk buddy. And he wasn't going to let her forget it anytime soon.

* * *

Amy did puzzles every so often. It wasn't a surprise. And it wasn't like she hid the hobby either. It was usually just something she did to distract herself from stress. And stress increased following the move, as did her puzzle time.

Moving wasn't the cause of the stress, but it was another thing to adjust to when work was gearing up at the same time. And when work was peaceful again (more or less) and every other little thing that stressed her out had disappeared too (more or less) she kept doing the puzzles.

You know why?

She had her own puzzle table now.

While the new apartment was without a doubt bigger than Jake's, it was bigger than Amy's was too. At her old place she only brought the puzzles out when she was stressed because they took up the whole table. She used to only have a kitchen table and one in the dining room. And she only brought out puzzles to the dining room table when she was stressed, because if it wasn't absolutely necessary she hated leaving anything on either table.

But now there were three tables. Kitchen, dining room, and one especially for Amy's puzzles.

The puzzle one was fit in near the back corner of the living room so if she sat with her back to the wall she could easily see Jake sitting on the couch a few feet away and whatever he was watching on TV. So basically any time was puzzle time now. 24/7 puzzle town.

The first time it wasn't a big deal at all when she asked Jake for his help to find the last piece that she assumed she had swept off the table, and it wasn't a big deal when he found it. But then it happened again. And again. And again.

He was sneaky about it too, so it wasn't immediately suspicious. He would skip one or two, and use distractions to throw off his scent (one time his excuse was that he was in such a rush to come to her when she was yelling that he hadn't noticed that he knocked some pieces down when he set whatever he was messing with at the time on her table). He even went so far as to plant false evidence, leaving the last piece on the floor for her to find without his help at all so it would look like it was all her fault.

"You're hiding them!" Amy accused him one day.

"Hiding what?"

"The puzzle pieces! You just steal one when they're in a big pile and hide it until I finish the whole thing by myself except for the last piece. You just want to be the one to put the last one in!"

Jake's smile grew and he didn't even look _a little_ ashamed.

"I was wondering when you'd notice that."

"Busted. Hand it over. And _stop_."

He pulled the last piece out from his pocket. She wasn't completely sure if he kept all the ones before it in his pocket too, or if he only brought them out of his hiding place when it was near completion. But she was pretty convinced it was the latter, because if he had to pull it out of his pocket every time he changed his pants at least one piece would be water logged from the washing machine by now.

* * *

Jake left the next two puzzles alone. But she finished the third one, and what did she find? A single misshapen hole. And it was a big one. He had probably scattered the pile all around to find the biggest piece.

"I told you not to take a single piece," she tapped her foot when she confronted him.

"I didn't take a single piece," he replied nonchalantly like it would actually make her believe him.

"I know it was you. You're the only one with access. Don't lie and say you didn't touch my puzzle."

"I never said I didn't touch it," he told her coolly. "I said I didn't take a single piece."

"Peralta, stop messing around and give it to me."

Before she could lay into him he walked into the living room with her following behind.

"Close your eyes," he ordered, and watched until she complied.

The thing about growing up with a houseful of children was that Amy was an adept peeker. Lightning quick eyes that she knew when to close at the exact right moment before they checked if she was looking. So of course she used her skill here.

Jake walked around the room and made a lot of sounds that were false alarms to trick her ears if she recognized what objects he was moving to get to the puzzle piece. He opened cabinet doors, shuffled around in the movie case, before moving to the mantle above the fireplace and fiddling with a purely ornamental candle holder.

"I know you peeked so I'm finding a new hiding place," he announced before turning to her, and she cursed under her breath.

"I knew you were lying."

"I wasn't. I said I didn't take a _single_ piece. I took two," Jake held both of them up. She was sure he knew the not technically lying was going to come up (and that he would have initiated it even if she didn't start him off with the word single) and that meant he had planned finding two pieces right next to each other so it would look like a single piece.

He handed her one before walking to the table and putting his in first, then motioned for her to follow with hers. The last piece.

And it was annoying and childish and cute and romantic in his own immature way. It was totally sappy and she loved it, but she tried to hide her smile as she begrudgingly put the last piece in.

"I love you too," Jake said.

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, but you were thinking it," he taunted and she stuck her tongue out at him. "Admit it, I'm adorable," Jake smiled as he bounced up on the tip of his toes. While it was true, she couldn't just let him get away with it.

"You know what? You _are_ adorable," Amy agreed, and his face instantly fell because he knew she had given in far too easily. "And I'm going to go post on facebook how sweet and sappy and cute my boyfriend is, and I'm going to tag all of our coworkers too."

After she turned she didn't even make it two steps before his arms were wrapped around her and keeping her there.

"No. All my cuteness is reserved for Amy Santiago's eyes only."

She reached a hand up to his cheek and hummed when he kissed her neck, and she was glad she could still do this. He was so corny and cheesy and she loved every single bit of it, but threatening to let anyone else know how great he was was one of the things she could still use against him. She wasn't sure what he thought would happen if the secret got out that he was a romantic, but she was glad she had him all to herself.

Amy would never actually follow through, and they both knew that. It wasn't exactly role play- more like a script.

She would say something about telling someone how _adorable_ he was, and that was his cue to come in and stop her. They'd run through it now and again, always ending up similar to how they were now. Amy leaning back into him and tilting her head to give him better access to her throat. Her hand was still on his cheek, but the other was covering one of his that curled around her.

They were always eager for another opportunity to rehearse their lines.

* * *

He didn't do it every time now. Probably every other one at most. He stole two pieces of every other puzzle, and when she was done (except for them) she found him and he put in the second to last piece, and she put in the last. After two times of this routine-(could you really call that a routine? Did you need at least three trials to establish a routine like you did a science experiment?)- anyway, after two times of that when he handed her her piece she ran to put it in before he could get there so he was left with the last one.

Not long after that she went to collect him for the two pieces, and he was upset when he got to the table and there were quite a few more missing pieces than the ones he had taken.

"Hey! You're not supposed to get me until you're done," Jake protested like they had even set up any sort of rules for this sort of thing. But it was an unspoken agreement, and she knew that she had broken it (and yet she did it anyway).

"You're not the only one who can steal pieces."

She made him put in his two. Then she gave him her hidden pieces, one by one, and directed him where to put them until he had placed the last ten pieces. He obviously didn't need her help for the last ten pieces of a completed puzzle, but the pointing gave them an excuse to brush each others hands and pretend it was an accident (it wasn't clear who they were pretending for, from the knowing looks and suppressed smiles they both knew exactly what was going on, and they were both in on it).

And one day he started helping her. She didn't ask, or even hint at it. He just sat down at the table so he could still see the TV if he looked up, and to her surprise he was actually matching some pieces, not just spinning them with his fingers while watching reruns of Scrubs.

And after a couple times she realized he wasn't even trying, cause when he was trying he was _good_. Nowhere near as good as her, but for someone with no practice it was impressive. For the most part it was impressive for anyone, practice or not.

She figured she shouldn't be that surprised since he was a detective after all, and his whole job is figuring out patterns and putting stuff together.

Then she started buying puzzles that she _knew_ he would enjoy. Some TV show or movies he liked, and stuff with gratuitous violence. She actually ordered a puzzle from one of those places that would make one for you from a personal picture- only the picture she submitted was the original Die Hard poster.

Of course he loved it.

And he didn't know it, but she was also educating him because she would slip some renaissance art in there and expose him to classic paintings without him realizing, because sometimes those were the goriest of them all.

* * *

He knew. He knew about the art.

But Jake didn't tell her because she always looks so pleased with herself when he really started going at one of them and cute didn't even begin to describe her face.

And besides, who knew smart people art could be so cool? He couldn't believe Amy actually supported him spending this much time focusing on anything that had so much blood and guts and so, _so_ many chopped off heads. All the while interspersed with nudity.

Old people were into some freaky shit.

And while it was cool, that really had nothing to do with why he kept his mouth shut. He didn't say anything so she would keep looking pleased and proud of herself when she thought she had tricked him yet again, because- did he mention how cute she was?

Like really, _really_ cute.

* * *

\- maybe a small part of him didn't say anything so he wouldn't miss out on the self satisfied moan that was always at the back of her throat that made his stomach do somersaults every time she thought she tricked him with the puzzles.

But mostly it was for the cute thing.

* * *

Jake made them glue the ones he really liked, and Amy hated it. She had made a habit of never _ever_ letting her puzzles get glued or thrown out. She wanted to be able to do them over again. She told Jake that was the whole point of puzzles: repeat entertainment.

He countered that the whole point was a sense of accomplishment, which you could still repeat because you would be reminded of when it was completed every time you looked at it.

"And I need something to put on the walls since you threw away all of my posters."

That won her over, despite the fact that the whole poster thing was justified. Every single one of them was ripped and torn this way or that with disgusting blue tack on the backs that she wasn't letting get anywhere near her new, white walls.

Jake said that a poster board was fine to hang them up on but if they were going to do it, they were going to do it right.

So yes, she got it framed.

She thought that was the end of it until he pulled out a huge black sharpie and scribbled the date on it before she could stop him. He didn't even write it small, or in the corner. He didn't even bother to use a ruler, so the date was stained on there in his messy scrawl that took up a quarter of the whole image space, and it wasn't even straight.

They hung the puzzles up in what they've designated as 'the study' (since Jake didn't always pick the most appropriate ones to glue, so they couldn't have them in the living room or anything where polite company could see).

After three were up, she had to admit that it wasn't a horrible idea.

They looked nice.

* * *

She promised to not fight the process if she was allowed to write the date every time.

From that moment on, she always had a ruler waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like the idea of Jake calling Amy his bunk buddy as much as I do. Cause I love that idea.
> 
> I was considering having Jake think of Amy as the original model (where he talks about having his own, personal Amy Santiago) but I just went with what you guys read.
> 
> And the image of her getting upset and saying it wasn't his fault he did something idiotic and that it was her fault for thinking that he wouldn't just made me so happy that I had to put it in there too.
> 
> And dude, I love puzzles. I am one of those lame people who love jigsaw puzzles. When I got old enough I started doing the 1000 piece ones with my mother, but she preferred the 750 number range cause it was quicker- though the cooler ones are almost always 1000 pieces. And I do glue the best ones, though I do settle for poster board before putting them on the walls of my bedroom. The trouble is getting it glued on after it's finished without having it fall apart as you try to slip it from off the table and onto the poster board (I've gathered a few techniques in my time).
> 
> The stealing and hiding of puzzle pieces to put the last one in was a move taken directly from my own brother (though he just kept being a jerk about it- nothing romantic, thank god).
> 
> So just a fluff and fun chapter, right?


	21. Glasses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before proceeding google the term 'Andy Samberg Glasses'. If a picture of Andy Samberg wearing glasses pops up, that's all you'll need for future reference in this chapter, and I promise you won't regret it.

"Oh my god, how has your eyesight gotten so much worse since I last tried on your glasses? Is there something you're not telling me? Damn, girl. Your vision's worse than mine ever was. Are you legally blind now?"

The glasses in question were ones that Jake had picked up off the table and were currently placed on his head. Amy hadn't felt like wearing contacts that day (and was comfortable doing so since they were stuck inside their apartment from the rain) so she just wore her glasses. She only placed them on the coffee table a few seconds ago along with the book she was in the middle of to get a cup of water, but she should have known that a few seconds was too long for Jake to _not_ try and wear her glasses.

"They're my reading glasses, dummy," Amy scoffed before she snatched them off his head. "And I wouldn't even need to have them out if you stopped touching my regular ones. And my back up ones. Jake, you always pick them up and walk off and set them down without realizing it. I don't know how you lost five pairs of glasses so well that I still can't find them. So it's all your fault that I have to use these," Amy pointed to the glasses she was wearing with the same hand that was still holding the ones she had just reclaimed from him.

These were part of her last resort emergency plan, at least until she moved in with Jake. She had to switch between the two pairs whenever she went from reading to walking around that day because the only two pairs she had left were the ones meant solely for reading and the other meant solely for seeing the world around you. The other five pairs he had lost were the ones that helped her see everything. Amy had only lost a single pair of glasses in her life, and it was when she was 12 years old and to this day she still suspected one of her brothers stole them (though none of them had confessed yet).

She would have guessed that Jake set them down somewhere outside of their apartment since she had searched high and low, but for four of the five pairs she hadn't been gone long enough for him to have time to even get out the door, or she was situated where she would have noticed him leaving. She didn't know how he did it.

After the second time she actually patted him down (even though he volunteered for a strip search).

She would have thought it was intentional if she hadn't made him help her look for them over and hour each time one disappeared. He would have given them back within 10 minutes of being forced to find them, and he would never have done it again since he knew it would happen afterward.

"And since when do you have bad vision?" She asked when she finally noticed that little comment he snuck in. If there was one thing she knew about Jake, it was that he didn't have bad vision. Only people who could see perfectly fine their whole life ever had the urge to try on someone else's glasses. Still, it was weird that he would even try to lie about it, because there was absolutely no way he could have tricked her into believing him for a moment after all of these years as his partner. And after almost a year of being his girlfriend.

"Since always," he replied, despite her doubtful look. "Seriously. I had those little baby goggles cause I would always pull off the regular kind and smash 'em. This scar right here," he pointed to a faded, barely there dent on his forehead that he'd had as long as she'd known him. "Ran straight into a coffee table when I was 3. I couldn't see shit."

"This is an elaborate fib, even for you."

"Amy, I'm not pulling your leg. Why would I? That would be the lamest lie I ever told you. Wait, Wait, I've got proof," Jake promised before rushing down the hall.

"Please tell me you didn't get someone's help to photoshop a picture of you as a kid. Or grab a stock photo off the internet. I'm not that stupid."

"Where's that box of stuff before the move that I told you was really important and not to throw out? The one I made clear was actually important and not like the other stuff that I say is important when it's really not?" He shouted from their bedroom after opening their closet door that had a very distinctive and loud creak every time it was touched.

"I'm not falling for it!"

"Ammmmyyy!" He whined, and clearly he wasn't going to let it go until the whole joke played itself out, so Amy decided she might as well play along to get it over with quicker.

"Which one? The one that where you wrote 'Amy- hands off' in big black letters? Or the one that said 'move bitch, get out the way, get out the way bitch, get out the-"

"The Ludacris one!" He interrupted her ASAP since he always hated when she said the lyrics to rap songs like a normal sentence instead of to the right rhythm.

"In the closet!"

"I'm looking in the closet. It's not here," Jake complained like she knew he would. He didn't just suck at finding glasses. He sucked at finding anything.

"Both of the boxes are on the shelf 6 inches above your head," Amy called helpfully. She really only asked for clarification on which 'actually important' box he told her about so she could say the lyrics out loud and annoy the hell out of him. She was just about to tell him not to dump it out on the bed 0.5 seconds before she heard all the junk tumble out into a pile that probably had so much dust in it she would have to change the bed spread.

Moments later Jake came out carrying these big ass nerd glasses and walked back over to her before putting them on and crossing his eyes while sticking out his tongue. He looked so ridiculous she almost laughed. But she caught herself.

"There's no way. I would have noticed by now if you needed glasses," she told him, but she still held out her hand for closer inspection. When she looked through them she could tell there was at least a little bit of magnification so they weren't fake. And they were covered in dust except the spots that had just been smudged clean by his fingers. The dust that was now all over their bed spread.

She could tell the dust wasn't planted because even she couldn't have faked it this good, much less Jake. So he'd had the glasses in that box for god knows how long, but there were still a lot of holes in his story.

"I would have seen you put in contacts. I would have seen if you wore _these_. You can't expect me- _"_

"You would have seen it if I ever needed to wear them lately, which I haven't. I wore glasses as a kid and switched to contacts in like fourth grade and Gina never let me live it down even though I literally threw out my only pair because I refused to wear them. And then I got that surgery thingy like the week after I turned 18 because they wouldn't let me do it when I was a minor even with my mom's consent. And the only time I ever need to use these anymore is if I read for hours all day and wanted to do stuff on my phone later. And the only times I've ever read for more than an hour straight in years were if you were off for some presentation or something and I was so bored at work that I actually did _work_. And that hasn't happened lately because now I get to text you instead of working when you're gone. And even though I never got swept into the kwazy kupcakes addiction that infected like half of the whole building before it burnt out- I look at my phone like 50% less than I did two years ago. And like 50% of the time that I do still look at it is because I'm texting you. It's actually kinda impressive, with everyone worrying about technology taking over our lives that-"

"If this isn't just a practical joke- which I'm not convinced of yet- why would you let yourself wear these? They're huge and clunky and so nerdy. I can't ever see you buying these for yourself."

"That's cause you can't see anything," Jake quipped and she slapped him on the arm for it. "C'mon, that was the perfect set up!" He protested and rubbed where she hit him under her glare. "It was a while back and I was at the store with less than 10 dollars in coins when I went to go get them. And they had the candy bar section right at the check out and I realized I really wanted some candy so I put back whatever not nerdy pair I had grabbed and got these. They were cheap for a reason. And it wasn't that big of a deal because just now you were the first person to see me in a pair of glasses that were actually mine in years."

Amy stared daggers at him and waited for him to flinch and show some sign of deception, but it never came. She was left with no choice to believe him.

"You're such a hypocrite! How come you've been making fun of me for wearing glasses for years when you wore them too?!"

"Cause it was fun," he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Dammit Jake! I thought we already did the whole secret thing weeks ago with my mom and the glitter bomb! Why didn't you tell me this before?!"

"I am honestly surprised that Gina hasn't told you after all this time. She was such a bully, and gave me hell all through school for it, even though I really did stop wearing glasses after Elementary school. I thought you knew. Cross my heart and hope to die," Jake swore with the appropriate hand motions.

"If I knew about it why wouldn't I have said anything about it?"

"Same reason you don't complain about my sex tape jokes anymore," he shrugged and Amy just pushed up her glasses and rubbed her eyes. She didn't want to admit that she could see his thought pattern and it wasn't the most illogical leap if he was comparing his glasses teasing with his sex tape teasing. She really had stopped complaining about the latter. It wasn't that she approved or even liked the sex tape comments, but now they were just met with a shake of the head and a sigh.

"Anything else you haven't told me?" Amy sighed and shook her head. Before he could object to the vagueness of her question she clarified so there could be absolutely no misinterpretation. "And assume that if I have not directly spoken to you about it that means I don't know about it. And you know exactly the kind of things I'm talking about. So don't leave anything out or there will be hell to pay when I do find out, and you know I will."

She could see Jake was taking her threat to heart and actually taking the past into consideration to avoid a future punishment that was sure to be unpleasant. And she could also tell when he landed on something that fit her criteria.

"Okay, so there may be _something_ off the top of my head that may count, but I really don't want to tell you. Cause it was a big win for you and you're gonna be crushed. And the only reason I'm bring it up is because I'm genuinely frightened of you. But trust me, you don't actually want to-"

"I already know you threw the last Jimmy Jab game."

"You do?" Jake asked and it was clear that was exactly what he was thinking of (though really, what else was a 'big win' for her that he could have had any part in). "How'd you find out? _When_ did you find out?"

"Do you really think we drink in silence whenever Rosa, Gina, and I go to the bar together? I've got so much dirt on you now that I wouldn't even know where to begin if I chose to blackmail you. Jimmy Jabs came up last week and I was still working out if I should get you in trouble for not telling me back when we did the first round of secrets. I'm sure a glasses story would've come up sooner or later."

"I knew nothing good was going to come of it when you three started your little pow-wows. I think I liked it better when my childhood friend and my girlfriend weren't drinking buddies. You know, keep my secrets separate," He explained and split his hands like he was parting the red sea. "What have you heard? What have they told you? What have _you_ told _them_?" Jake gasped when he realized the gossiping was a two way street.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys remember when I said that Finally was coming to an end in 2-5 chapters in the AN of ch 16?  
> Cause I sure as hell don't.
> 
> My goodness, I just needed to put something in forever about Jake needing glasses at least at some point in his life because Andy Samberg in his big ass nerd glasses are what squeals are made of.
> 
> I started wearing reading glasses a while back. I had perfect vision all of my life, and like 6 months after I turn 17 I realize I can't focus on word stuff anymore and had my eyes checked.  
> The optometrist said it was quite 'normal' for 'college age' students to need reading glasses when they increased their work load, and never need them again after the graduate since they don't stress their eyes as much.  
> The real reason was that I had only ever owned a pay as you go phone before that so it wasn't even worth it to attempt to use the shoddy internet connection. And before my eyes started going all wonky I got my first ever smart phone and discovered that all of the Sherlock Holmes books (and short stories) were in the public domain and could be accessed online. Through my smart phone.  
> And after I finished SH I just started doing all my usual interneting on my phone. And even though I have to use reading glasses I haven't stopped.
> 
> I legit have a problem.


	22. Girl's night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl's Night

It was strange how close they had gotten recently, Amy, Gina, and Rosa.

She knew that the inciting factor was Jake, without a doubt- especially since the timing was around when they got busted for sneaking around. Even though they were dating for months beforehand, the drastic change came when everyone knew that everyone knew (really, when Jake and Amy knew that everyone else knew).

She got that Gina was his childhood friend, and that Rosa bonded with him when they went through the academy together, but she honestly didn't expect her relationship with him to affect her relationship with them, at least not this much. They were actually kinda... friends now. Not just work colleagues that were on good terms with each other, but actual friends.

Amy had to admit that she thought it was the teasing. She had first hand experience in how friendly teasing could forge closeness, because to be honest that was the basis of her relationship with Jake for years (plus an overwhelming amount of sexual tension). It was weird how much lighthearted teasing could build up a relationship. Rosa and Gina now had something that they could always make a joke out of.

Plus, there was the advice. Most people liked to be asked for advice, and Amy had been coming to them for their input more than ever lately. The first girl's night happened when Amy was in a bad mood all day and mad at Peralta for whatever reason, and the two invited her to the bar after work because she 'looked like she could use a drink'. She had always sought out romance tips from Kylie before, but it was more than useful talking to people her were used to her boyfriends antics. And as girl's night continued to become a regular thing for all of them, they moved on from relationship topics to other things, stuff that you would talk with friends about. She was still getting used to it, but it was great in the meantime.

They all went back to their usual interactions at work and outside life (Rosa being a mystery and the opposite of friendly, and Gina being stuck up like always) but as soon as their drinks were served all bets were off. Rosa would actually emote some times (a big deal since she was still Rosa who usually only expressed the emotion of anger) and Gina was actually nice and helpful (in her own egotistical way).

They met up at the bar once or twice a month now with strictly unspoken girl camaraderie. They'd drink a little bit and hash out their problems and whatever was bugging them that week, but whatever happened on girl's night stayed on girl's night. They wouldn't even mention last times key points until the next girl's night. For the most part it was just alcohol fueled therapy to get all of their bitching out and it was more helpful than Amy ever would have guessed.

She was pretty sure that this was what having sisters felt like. She had always dreamed about having a female sibling, what with the seven brothers and all, and she was convinced that this was what it would have been like.

Or at least it was like they were in an all girl band. Rosa was Scary Spice of course, and Gina was Ginger Spice without a doubt. That left Amy with Posh Spice because Baby and Sporty definitely didn't fit her, and posh was an annoyingly accurate description of her. But that didn't matter because they were not in a girl band and Amy couldn't play an instrument anyway, and this was as close to living out her childhood sister fantasies as possible.

And at the moment they were staring at her like she was going crazy. What ever drink Amy was at the moment she was comfortable voicing this little doubt that had been nagging at the back of her mind lately, even though she knew it was stupid. The question she had just said. What if he falls out of love with me.

“I mean, doesn't that happen to everybody? At least a little bit? Like no more sparks or something. What if that happens?” Amy tried to defend or at least explain her little bit of insecurity. It was obvious Jake loved her, and she was confident in their relationship. She was 99.99% sure that everything was fine and that it would stay fine. But there was that 0.01% part of her, the part of her that knew that nothing in life was ever guaranteed, that needed a little reassurance from her friends.

“Amy, how long have you been working at the precinct?” Rosa asked like that completely unrelated question was an answer to hers, though she couldn't see how.

“Almost 8 years.”

“And how many days are in 8 years?”

She assumed that Diaz was trying to prove a point (that she still wasn't sure of at the moment) so Amy was silent until it became clear that no, she actually was expecting an answer. So she did the basic math as quick as possible in her head.

“2,920- if you leave out leap years and don't account for-”

“Right,” Rosa interrupted her since accuracy wasn't needed for whatever she was going to say. “So Jake has been in love with you for 2,919 days. If he's waited that long to have you, he's not going to let you go.”

Even for girl's night that was a sweet thing for her to say.

“And, like, double standard!” Gina yelled. “Why aren't you worried about yourself falling out of love? 'Doesn't that happen to everyone'” she quoted with the mocking tone she always used when she was on her high horse.

“I... I don't know, I guess I just....” Amy trailed off because the only answer was that she knew how she felt, and as a human being couldn't be sure of how anyone else felt. And she knew that she was never, ever going to stop loving Jake- not even a little.

“If you could see the way he looked at you, you wouldn't be worried bout nothing,” Rosa said, and it was a nice moment until Gina made a jibe about her mushiness and Rosa growled at her.

“And you've loved him just as long. Or at least liked. Cause I know about old Amy. Before she came to the nine nine,” Gina sang like it was a juicy secret she had been dying to tell, or at least use as blackmail.

“What does that have to do with anything? And how?”

“I've already told you about the HNAA, and we keep it close. Sam was the assistant at your old precinct and had some pretty interesting things to say about you. Like how much of a hunk your old partner was, and don't even try to deny it cause I've seen pictures. He's gorgeous, like speedo model gorgeous. But the moment you heard about an opening in the nine nine you put in your request to be transferred. Sam said the only reason you were so quick to get out of there was because he was a total slob. And you complained about it all the time to her and how other than that everything was fine for you.”

Amy wasn't going to deny it because it was true. Her old partner was attractive, and everything was going fine at work other than how disgusting he was, but that wasn't the real reason she transferred. She was so quick to jump at the opening in nine nine cause she was _bored_.

It wasn't that the cases were boring, even though some were while others were interesting (something she expected as a detective). Every person she worked with was boring. Amy wasn't going to pretend that she was the most interesting person in the world, and she wasn't sure that she was any less boring than the people she worked with, but she had to get out of there. It was all too easy to picture herself spending years at that place and fading into gray- and she wasn't going down without a fight.

“I kept my eye on you, little duck. Didn't accept it at first that someone could be messier than the hunk you just gave up and didn't even hit you until the next week. I thought you were gonna run out of there. And you were worried how it would look if you put in a request for them to make room for you elsewhere so you decided to just check for openings and make up an excuse for how that new precinct would be better for you. Probably something boring like the price of gas or something. First two weeks you checked the postings everyday, then less and less and less. Sometime in month two you stopped checking at all. I waited a couple of weeks before I 'accidentally' left a page on your desk that had all the openings listed. And I watched you read it before giving it back to me. And I watched you the rest of the day, and the days after that and you didn't have a second thought about it and didn't check the openings ever again.”

It took a minute for Amy to bring back everything that happened years ago, and surprisingly enough Gina was right. Everyone gave her crap for being OCD now, but her tolerance for all things disgusting had exponentially increased over the years. And in terms of things disgusting, Jake was something else. She was afraid that if she tried to transfer again of her own volition it would look bad on her record so she had done exactly what Gina now described. Waited for an opening to pop up that she could make up an excuse for how it would be better for her.

She remembered the day Gina left the paper on her desk, even though it seemed insignificant at the time. Really, it seemed insignificant until it was brought to her attention almost 8 years later. She knew the paper was Gina's because she had obviously been testing lipstick shades by the marks on the bottom of the page, so she didn't think anything of it before giving it back.

She wasn't convinced that she was in love with Jake two months after meeting him so that wasn't the reason she stopped checking for openings (even though he was _the_ reason she started). Eventually it became clear that the nine nine was interesting to say the least, and actually kind of fun. And it was pretty clear from the get go that her partner was interesting too. Disgusting, but interesting. Even if Jake wasn't the only reason she stayed at the nine nine, he was at least a little bit of the reason. One of the many reasons she stayed, and the biggest reason she was so glad she made that decision now.

“Why'd you spend so much time on me?” Amy asked to satisfy her curiosity. She was of course aware of the Holy Network of Administrative Assistants, and felt a little bad that Sam knew so much about her (or at least did when Gina got the information from her) when she couldn't even remember what the assistant looked like currently, and definitely wouldn't have been able to say more than a few words about her when she did work with her everyday. Still, the planted paper on her desk seemed far too much work for the Gina she knew.

“Vetting. I vet everyone who comes and goes. Rosa got a free pass cause Jake vouched for her, and Terry was always above suspicion. So I've vetted Boyle, Scully, Hitchcock, all the weekend crew, the captains, and every other person who tried to bust up our party. Had to make sure you were fit for the crew. And I had to make sure you were for realz for him, and luckily you passed even back then. I am the fairy godmother of the precinct, and the things I could do with a pumpkin!” Gina shouted and twirled her hand around above her head before snapping it down like she had released a smoke bomb.

“You couldn't vet me if you tried,” Rosa said while Amy tried to catch up on everything she was just told. She wasn't sure what drink she was on, but it was high enough for her head to be more than a little foggy.

“Him?”

“Jake.”

“Why did you do that years ago? There wasn't even a remote chance that we would get together. If I traveled back in time and told myself that, I wouldn't even believe _me_.”

“Carlene isn't the only one with a gift,” Gina bragged as if along with her title of being fairy godmother, she was the high priestess of the precinct too. “Just promise you won't name your daughter Alice,” she advised making it more than obvious that if she was a deity, she was a shitfaced one.

“You're drunk,” Amy nudged her even though she probably wasn't much more sober than her friend.

“Oh yes. Very. More Shots!”

* * *

 

Amy wasn't too bad at giving romantic advice either.

On girl's night, that is. She had to be plied with alcohol before she discussed anything of the romantic stylez nature, but once she had a drink she could actually contribute to sexual conversations. Even though she was always at least a bit tipsy during it, she knew that she actually had some good bedroom advice because nerdiness was a two way street. Sober Amy could help you with your taxes. 1+ drink Amy could help you with science of sex. Sometimes.

That particular night Amy wasn't sure what drink she was on. Gina would probably know. She always meant to ask about her system, since Gina always described it as “1 drink Amy, 2 drink Amy,” and so on. But Amy wanted clarification and if there were different levels like if she switched from beers to shots would each drink still count as one?

But whenever Amy thought about asking it either wasn't during a feasible time she could ask, or she was drunk off her ass.

“Trouble in Paradise?” Gina addressed their coworker.

Diaz had been unusually silent the whole time. While quiet and grumpy was practically part of her uniform at the precinct, all of that fell off during girl's night. Cause girl's night was for bitching, which Rosa never passed up unless something was really bothering her.

“He keeps talking about toothbrushes,” Rosa tried to play it cool, since she was still Rosa after all (who normally only expressed the emotion of anger). When she was met with confused expressions and realized she was going to have to _elaborate_ , Rosa took a huge swig of beer.

“Marcus. He wants to do the toothbrush thing. Like leaving one at each others places. He keeps bringing it up whenever I see him, and I can't keep avoiding him much longer.”

“Wait, so Marcus actually knows where you live?” Gina asked even though it was more or less implied. Truth be told, the thought of anyone knowing where Rosa lived surprised Amy a bit too.

“Yeah, that's why I can't keep avoiding him. And I don't know if I want to or not and I don't know if he'll be okay if I don't want to. He's been asking me if I have a problem with it, and I don't know. I have a problem with how many times he's asked me if I have a problem.”

“Fuck him,” Amy finally spoke up to offer her fantastic boozed up advice. She said it confidently and naturally like it was any old normal thing for her to say. Rosa and Gina were staring at her in surprise and Amy just shrugged in response.

“That's what I do. Jake pisses me off, I tell him he pissed me off, and then I fuck him. Or I tell him while I fuck him. So you should just go and fuck Marcus. Work off all of that energy, have a bit of fun, and then you'll be so blissed out on Oxytocin that you won't even be bothered about saying you need more time to think. And if he does have a problem with the truth he'll be in a much more reciprocative mood after you fuck him.”

Rosa and Gina stared at her a few seconds longer, and then- almost as if they had planned it- turned to each other and nodded in perfect synchronicity.

“Good plan,” they agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends.  
> So I'm working on another Smutty one shot. Smut-shot? I wanna call it smut-shot. Yup, I'm going with smut-shot. Hashtag copyright sharkinterviewee.  
> So this smut-shot will still be explicit and kinky, but not the same kink (if you weren't too into the whole roughness of I didn't know I was lonely till I saw your face) but still enjoyable.  
> I started working on it like 2 days ago and it's coming along surprisingly quick considering how Lonely Face (I'm not typing that out again) took so long for me to put together.  
> As a 90's kid I do way more research than I expected to ever do for my fics to put in some 80's references (and references to stuff that happened in the 90's that you had to be born before then to even care about) anyways, and so I was thinking about that was I was researching the personalities of all of the spice girls, (And the A team and Nightcourt for The Only Road that Leads Me Home and even earlier in freaking Finally when I read all of the blogs on the rankings of Die Hard and Lethal Weapon so I could put together a list of rankings for the birthday party/nieces chapter because I've never seen any of the movies from either franchises and tried to get an idea of what fans thought the best ones were).  
> And I was thinking how bad it must be for Psych fanfic authors if they want to put in 80's references, cause that show is one giant 80's reference, it reminded me of when my brother asked me randomly who knows how long ago it was "How much of a different show would Psych be if we actually understood all of those 80's references?"  
> And I still don't have an answer to that.


	23. Anniversary pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anniversary pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight time skip, a couple months from the last chapter, so the next January.

"Hey-"

"I hope you know me better than to ask if I want a present, Santiago," Jake said that morning on the third Saturday in January. Next week would be it. The fourth Saturday of January would be exactly 365 days since their first kiss. Since they were them. From the slight smirk on his lips he knew that their anniversary would have had something to do with the sentence she hadn't even begun, or that she was probably going to say something about it later that day at the very least.

It had been a year. A whole year. Technically a year minus seven days, but she was rounding up since it would be a whole year since they started dating in only seven days.

It wasn't exactly a surprise, but it hit Amy like something unexpected. She had been anticipating it, but the reality of it was what hit her. Taking a step back and comparing how her life and his life had changed to their life. She couldn't even try to step back into the mindset of the Amy Santiago of a year ago. The Amy Santiago who had never kissed Jake Peralta and who never let herself imagine something as wonderful as this because it was one of those things that was too good to be true. And she never was a creative person, so she couldn't have imagined all of the great things that had taken place since then.

All the great things that happened with Jake.

"I wasn't sure you remembered," she smiled as she sat next to her boyfriend of 358 days and laid her head on his shoulder.

She didn't know how anyone survived New York winters without the miracle of central heating. Even then Jake was addicted to electric blankets which were a nice amenity (really they were a luxury). Even though they all shut off automatically after an hour Amy was still convinced they had the potential to be a fire hazard and made him unplug them whenever he moved. Then he actually got her to try one and converted her. She always felt like it was a little wasteful (to have the heater on and an electric blanket when normal blankets would do just fine) but if he already had one on she wasted no time joining him to snuggle under it. Jake was always so warm and usually overheated extremely easily, but if it was below freezing he maintained that the heat just seeped out of him.

Whether she was little spoon or big spoon on whichever night it was like being in an incubator since the furnace of his body could only be touching half of hers at most.

So yeah, she was a reluctant fan of electric blankets.

That Saturday he had one wrapped around his whole body (arms and shoulders covered too) as he sat criss crossed on the couch and watched TV because he complained that no one had invented the electric snuggie yet so he was basically a head sticking out of a blanket ball. When Amy snuggled up next to him he hissed at the cold air she let in but soon enough they were just a blanket monster with two heads.

Easily enough he tucked the edges of the blanket behind her and she snaked an arm behind his back so she really was curled into him. They had long since perfected the routine of making an air tight, or really heat tight, cuddle seal.

"It did help that we had an arrest on record for when we booked the people we were fake for realz making out for, but I remembered to look up the exact date so that should count as remembering. Numbers is just asking too much of me. We get a weekend this year. Charles told me it takes like 20 something years for the calendar to repeat and sometimes less than that, but I hate that it doesn't repeat every 7 years. I know it's cause of leap years and different days in months and other stupid reasons like math, but it just feels so wrong."

It wasn't like she expected them to break up, and she didn't ever want them to, and she was sure he didn't either.

But it made her so incredibly happy to hear Jake say 'this year'. She wanted a lot of years with Jake, and she never doubted for a moment that he felt the same.

But just to hear him say it out loud was brilliant. She wasn't even sure if he caught himself saying it.

"2017 will be a Monday," she worked in as nonchalantly as possible.

"See what I mean?" He exclaimed like it was actually something to get worked up about. "It should be a Sunday! Friday, Saturday, Sunday! Not Friday, Saturday, _Monday_. Even calendars don't know how calendars work. Makes me so mad. Also, you're a huge nerd for doing that all in your head," he said as he kissed said head.

"You're the one who's actually getting angry over how calendars work," Amy pointed out after he placed another kiss on her hair, then her temple, down her cheek, and along her jawline. He was warm, the electric blanket was warm, and his lips were close to burning, but she still shivered. And if he continued like that she was going to be getting hot for an altogether different reason.

"And don't think I didn't see what you did there, cause you're not as sneaky as you think," Jake informed her as his voice was just beginning to dip an octave lower and she leaned her head to give him better access to her throat. "We'll be taking that Monday off."

* * *

Sex under electric blankets wasn't too shabby either.

* * *

The days leading up to January 23rd were filled with taunts. They hadn't had anything so competitive with just each other since the bet, and even that felt like a lifetime ago. It wasn't like they had stopped being competitive with each other over the year, because they hadn't. They still kept tally of cases solved (even though there was nothing riding on it other than bragging rights) and any time there was some sort of competition at the precinct they agreed that there were no alliances and sabotage was never off the table (if that particular challenge had sabotage on the table for the rest of their coworkers- they weren't unreasonable and didn't go out of their way to ruin each other's chances).

They were pretty much as cutthroat as usual.

But somehow Jake managed to turn their anniversary into a challenge to best each other at.

* * *

"You're gonna be so impressed. My present is like so meaningful that meaningful is a meaningless word when compared to the utter meaning of my present. Just all that meaning," he bragged and waved his hand in the air like she should bask in him using meaning (not _meaningful_ ) as an adjective. When all that meaning was just empty space since he was taunting her from across his desk at work since he said it was a surprise.

"That's some pretty tough talk, Peralta. You sure you even know the meaning of the word meaning?" She shot back before she shook her head for getting her to even respond in his stupid taunting style.

That saying about idiots _always_ applied to her boyfriend:

Never argue with an idiot because they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

"Believe me, I know the meaning of the word meaning. I put the meaning in the word meaningful. I put the meaning in the word meaningless because if I didn't put the word meaning in it then it really would have no meaning, it would just be less. So you're welcome for giving meaning a whole new meaning, because if I didn't do it then you wouldn't have a word to describe just how meaning my meaningful gift means."

"Great, you just said it so many times that meaning doesn't even seem like a word anymore. You ruined a whole word for me for the next hour at least."

"I didn't mean to," he shrugged and looked way too proud for it _not_ to be intentional.

Amy sighed and tuned him out until it sounded like a real word again and she finally forgave him.

* * *

It took two hours for the word to regain any meaning.

* * *

Amy was pretty confident in how much he'd love what she had planned too so she didn't hesitate to return his jabs. At least her taunts were grammatically correct, though.

* * *

Jake was so excited and confident in how much she would love his present that he actually woke up _before_ her. He didn't even try to wake up early, he was just like a kid on christmas morning who was so thrilled that they woke up at the crack of dawn and couldn't get back to sleep no matter how hard they tried.

Basically year round Jake would gladly sleep in until 4 PM if he didn't have something as inconvenient as a job. But he was like a kid in so many other aspects that she shouldn't have been surprised that he was the same as a 10 year old on the holidays.

* * *

_They figured out the morning wake up times ages ago. She didn't compromise on what time her alarm was set on work days (though it wasn't a guarantee it would even wake himup at all since she always got up instead of hitting snooze so it didn't go off a million times like he would have needed if he was still sleeping alone)._

_While pre-Jake Amy set her weekend alarm for 8 AM peri-Jake Amy had it set for 10:30 AM and she still never used snooze, but she allowed herself to hit the off button on occasion. If anyone could convince her to stay in bed it was JakePeralta (assuming the alarm did in fact wake him up on that particular Saturday or Sunday so it didn't happen with a frequency that could be described using the word often, but it was a tenfold increase since he came into her bed)._

* * *

On the morning of January 23rd, 2016 (the fourth Saturday of the year) Jake Peralta woke Amy Santiago up at 5:00 AM, a whole hour before her work day alarm went off.

He literally dragged her out of bed bright eyed and eager 100% awake. If she hadn't fallen asleep next to him, and after him (she could always tell when he was faking) she would have suspected that he was awake all night.

But she was sure that Jake Peralta truly fell asleep last night and woke up naturally _before_ 5 AM (what with the wide eyed nature of his and that he had breakfast prepared).

* * *

_He still ate unhealthy. Especially breakfast. But most nights they made dinner together. Sometimes he would actually try to teach her some skills that would actually make a difference, but for the most part she just chopped whatever needed chopping and was the fetcher of supplies. And if she didn't even do that, she would just stay and talk. Or really talked and watched. Watched him. She watched him move and smile and cook, so he didn't have to cook alone. But if he did decide that night was one where he was going to attempt to teach her a skill she'll never get down, he would do that stupid thing where he got up right behind her and showed her like how guys always showed girls how to cue up when teaching them pool in movies. And it was stupid but she loved it._

_Jake said he didn't understand how she could learn anything in two days but she still couldn't cook. Amy said she didn't understand either._

_It wasn't like she purposely forgot, but she didn't try to remember any of the actual things he taught her either. Because if she actually knew how to cook he wouldn't get up behind her and place his hands over hers and show her how._

_She wasn't faking, but whenever he'd say something about a certain temperature or technique she'd tune him out and concentrate on feeling him, and the sound of his voice rather than the words it was saying. So she just didn't commit it to memory._

_It wasn't like she was the healthiest person either, considering how before if she actually wanted a warm meal that wasn't cooked in the microwave it would've been from some sort of restaurant. But for breakfast she always went for toast and fruit as often as she could, and now that she wasn't stuck with takeout she had actual meals that were actually cooked and she could claim to be a healthy eater. But even when they started making dinner together Jake still went for sugar throughout the day. That wasn't to mention the homemade desserts that managed to be the best things she had ever tasted even compared to actual professionally made stuff. She made a rule that they wouldn't have more than one dessert-y thing a week because if he kept going she was going to be added on to the heart attack bet at the precinct too._

_Even though for a lot of the time she was just delegated to the fetcher of supplies she was always at least a tad proud to contribute to something that tasted so good._

_But Jake still had the tastebuds of a 4 year old and ate the most artificial, fatty, high fructose corn syrup filled things with all that horrible junk food shebang whenever he felt like it (and it was literally a daily occurrence)._

_He actually swallowed gum. She told him to stop and he said the whole 7 years thing was a myth, and she told him it still wasn't made to be swallowed. But he kept swallowing it, and it was useless to try and stop him anyway._

* * *

So he made breakfast that morning and as usual it was delicious since he had a hand in it. Jake got her all coffeed up and was almost vibrating with energy, but he wouldn't even show her until he was convinced that she was well and truly awake too because he said it wouldn't have the full effect if she was still half asleep.

He led her to the dining room table and gave the grand reveal: a folded sheet.

It didn't look like anything special. Just a regular sheet. One that he had either grabbed from the closet that she had folded or just taken out of the packaging of one he bought for the occasion. It probably was from the packaging. Amy was a fabric folding pro, and she had her own style of folding, and even though it didn't look like much more than a simple square on the table at the moment she could tell that it wasn't her own handiwork. She actually lifted it up and checked for something underneath it because this couldn't have been the _meaningful_ gift that she was supposed to be amazed and astounded at, but nothing was underneath.

It was just a regular sheet.

"I don't get it. Is this it?"

"Yup," Jake said proudly and she waited for him to say it was all a prank- which he didn't say even after she waited.

"After all of the buildup I'm supposed to be impressed with a new sheet?"

"No, you're supposed to be impressed with an old fitted sheet that I folded myself."

There was no way he did that all by himself. He couldn't even fold a T shirt right. He did that half assed thing that people did at clothing stores with the tuck and put it back on the shelf when at least if he gave it to an employee they could fold it _correctly_.

Amy was good at folding. Sometimes she found it more bothersome than relaxing but she did it anyway because it would bug her more to leave it in a mess. She was good with anything- any article of clothing, towels, blankets, pillow cases, whatever.

Sheets were another story. Regular sheets she was fine with. Fitted sheets… not so much.

Those were the one thing that she would get so frustrated with that she would throw them in a heap on the ground. She'd looked up how to fold them right, but she never could get it down. She had a little level of hell in the bottom of the hall closet for crumpled sheets that she would throw in the dryer before putting them on the bed to get out the wrinkles and didn't even attempt to touch them before she needed to change them, and into the dryer they would go.

If Jake really was telling the truth impressive wasn't a strong enough word.

"Prove it," she nodded down to her present (though technically the present would be the skill and not the sheet if he was serious).

"Thought you might say that."

Jake made a big show of shaking the sheet out into a mess and actually made her feel and check that it wasn't a 'trick sheet' (which she was sure didn't exist and she could tell by looking that it was fitted either way).

He then proceeded to _fold_ a _**fitted**_ _sheet_ absolutely perfectly so swift and seamlessly that it looked like sleight of hand. Amy made him do it 4 times straight (shaking it out and folding it again) and each time took less than 10 seconds because he had a _technique_.

She then ripped it from his hands to make sure it really wasn't a trick sheet, and it really was one of their old sheets that she had thrown in the lower circle of fitted sheet closet hell.

She made him demonstrate at least another  times and each rendition his smile grew wider and wider in his glee of how incredulous she was until it looked like it was about to break his face.

"I know, right? I'm so awesome and I know you so well," he bragged and waited for her to lavish him with praise, but she decided to cut to the chase.

"I am so attracted to you right now," Amy said before attacking him.

* * *

The attacking didn't last long (though the attraction was still as present as always) because she just had to laugh and grin and kiss him (more of sweet kisses than sexy ones). Jake Peralta learned how to fold a fitted sheet for her.

It wasn't just that it was a present tailored for her (rather than some stereotypical flowers or chocolate) it was that he couldn't even fold a shirt correctly and he practiced it to perfection. Amy told him that all the build up to how meaningful it was in the days before wasn't enough.

* * *

"You have got to teach me how to do that," she begged later. She had dedicated herself way too long in the past trying to learn the art of folding fitted sheets and was only met with failure. But she was positive that if Jake taught her his secret technique she actually would succeed.

"Uh- no way. If I teach you how to do that what reason will you have to keep me around anymore?"

"If I was only keeping you around for your laundry skills you would have been gone a long time ago," she teased.

They both knew that this was the first and only laundry skill he had learned after a year of dating her, and regardless of how long he practiced he definitely did not enter the relationship with that particular skill set.

So yeah, he really did put the meaning into the word meaningful.

* * *

He still didn't know how to fold a T shirt properly, but that really was meaningless. Fitted sheets were meaningful.

Really anything he did for her was meaningful.

And everything he did _with_ her meant more than the world.

* * *

They hadn't even made it to lunch before he brought up her present for him. He said it was so much harder restraining himself from looking for it when he knew it was hidden somewhere in their apartment (or at least he conceded that was the most likely hiding place if she got him something physical and materialistic and not a skill set like he had chosen).

She then had to inform him that her present was scheduled and couldn't be given to him until after nightfall.

For the rest of the day he pestered her nonstop. With some breaks for happiness and kissing and such, but then he'd get back to the childish excitement before too long and beg her for at least a hint.

The only hint she would give him was that it was 'kinda' a page from his own playbook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a member of gum swallowers anonymous. I don’t even swallow them when they lose flavor all the time and I don’t have a trash can near. I swallow gum while it still has it’s flavor way too often. And it’s not an accident or anything. There’s something so satisfying about swallowing gum that is so hard to resist.
> 
> I avoid absolutely all the spoilers I can for new episodes so I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Swedes had their (6 month) anniversary as a subplot on Sunday night.  
> Like I usually stop browsing tumblr on Friday and don’t start again until after I’ve seen the next episode the following Sunday cause of all the spoilers and previews and stuff on my dashboard that I don’t even want a glimpse at.  
> And then the trailer for the Swedes showed up 2 weeks early cause of the break, and of course since I avoided everything I didn’t even realize until the Monday after I was expecting it that it wouldn’t even air until next week.  
> But avoiding spoilers is so much easier when I don’t even have a TV and watch all the shows I like online so I don’t even see ads or stuff like ‘next week on:’, and I figure that’s why I didn’t even know about the break cause they probs said something about it when it aired or during the credits or something.  
> That’s how cable works nowadays, right?
> 
> My laptop’s still messed up (mentioned in the AN of Shelter if you didn’t read that cause it was a little sad, and I’ve put stuff up on tumblr if you’re super curious about exactly what’s up and didn’t get the memo) but I’m holding out hope. I was planning on doing like an introducing and first winter holidays together cause I thought I couldn’t leave that out even though I wasn’t feeling it. But after my laptop messed up I was like  
> ‘dude, it’s my fic. Nobody even requested holidays and I didn’t even tell anyone I was hoping to do or promise or something, so where is this sense of obligation from?’  
> And I was like ‘It’s my fic so time skip’ (if you say it right that sentence sounds so close to rhyming).  
> And why I’m still trying to salvage stuff from my laptop (and the problem isn’t with the hard drive so it’s not like it’s hopeless, but I’m still trying to work it out simple with the battery and all) is because I don’t want to rewrite chapters and stuff ish on what I’d already got started on and liked how I expanded it and stuff, but since I didn’t decide to skip the holiday chapter that I didn’t have much of a clue how to work out, and I didn’t even have like anything planned for an anniversary chapter, but once I just decided to let it go this whole chapter and idea came out surprisingly quick.
> 
> I had to got back through my fic to figure out the exact date based on random details I’d interspersed in earlier chapters without thinking twice to place an exact time frame on when Johnny and Dora happened according to moi.  
> So when I calculated the date I liked the slight coincidence that it all added up to January 23rd when it was the 23rd chapter of Finally.
> 
> And people don't use the prefix peri nearly as much as pre and post, and I'm pretty sure that I've only ever heard it used in the case of premortem, perimortem, and postmortem but I figured it was technically the right prefix so I put it in there right along (and like, they're cops, dude, even if Amy didn't know too many words she would probably jump to that prefix too).
> 
> Oh, and part 2 of the anniversary will have some Jake POV since this has gotten pretty Amy centric lately.  
> So stay tuned.


	24. Anniversary pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Anniversary Pt 2 (the conclusion)

Jake wished he had a bargaining chip for another hint.

Surprises were awesome. He loved surprises. Surprises were the best.

But Surprises were supposed to be unexpected. Hence the whole surprise part.

But Amy like scheduled him a surprise. Which totally wasn't fair at all.

If she really wanted to surprise him she just wouldn't have told him and gotten him a decoy present until the real one was ready.

Leave it to Amy to make it an expected surprise but still a surprise.

* * *

"Big step," Amy told him with her hands on his shoulders so he wouldn't trip on the curb and bring them both tumbling down. He was grinning in delight and utter anticipation for the big reveal, and she loved that none of his guesses were anywhere close. She loved that he literally had no clue where they were going, and she loved the childish joy written all over every inch of him at the waiting surprise.

Over the grass and past the creaky gate retracing steps long since left behind.

"Is this actual deja vu? Or is it just from all of the other times you've blindfolded me?"

She just shook her head with a smile because he really was an absolute idiot. They were bundled up pretty nice being a late January night, but the air was still frigid enough to flush Jake's cheeks to a scarlet rose. When she kissed his cheek his skin was cold to the touch, but she could feel the warmth just beneath her lips of his blood working to keep them so bright and red.

"We're here. Try to guess where we are. Use your senses, Peralta."

"It's cold," he answered immediately like it wasn't the most obvious thing to anyone out that night. It was near freezing.

"You can do better than that."

"It's _really_ cold," he said and earned a thwack on the shoulder for being smart about it. "Okay! Uh, touch: it's cold. Sight: I'm blind," he held up his hands in defense of where he thought the next thwack would come from before he could spit out the next (semi-)serious answer. "I can't smell anything at all, and I'm not even sure if I still have a nose."

Next he stuck out his tongue and waggled it around in the air.

"Tastes cold too."

"And what's left?" She prompted him to use his ears that were beginning to turn red too.

"Okay, I can hear it, but I don't know what it is. Like… uh… pop rocks? Way too loud to be pop rocks. Not those popper snap things that you throw at the ground either. Something poppy."

"Mmmhhmmm. Warmer."

He was getting a bit closer semantic wise going from pop rocks to fireworks. While he tried to figure his next guess she took a picture of him. Blind folded and pink cheeked surrounded by a puff of breath that fogged the air around him.

"Okay, I know _that_ was a camera shutter. You know that's just a sound effect these days, right? Even if you're using Charles's digital camera there's probably still a way to put it on silent if you _really_ wanted me to use my senses."

In the middle of him trying to school her on proper camera usage (when she was sure she knew way more than he did) she went back behind him and kept guiding him toward the attraction she had set up.

"Warmer…"

"Okay, camera shutter and… snap crackle pop rice krispies!" He sang the jingle in perfect tune. "On loud speaker. Did you make a recording of cereal? Did one already exist? Was it royalty free?"

"You're getting warmer," she said and he tried to think of more guesses related to his previous ones, but she was purposely using the term warmer to mislead him. His guesses were getting further and further off point. She inched him closer and closer until she was sure he could feel the heat.

"Oh! Warmer! Literally warmer!" He exclaimed and ripped off the blindfold to see the flames only to recoil and cover his eyes with instant regret. "Shouldn't have done that. Fire's really, _really_ bright. Too bright."

While she waited for him to stop being a goof let his eyes adjust she placed a kiss and then puffed hot breath on his nose so that he would be able to feel it again. Because if he lost his nose due to a frost bite related injury she would miss it very much.

When he finally removed his hand and she saw his eyes again, she thought he was beautiful.

Not even her weird compliment version of the word, and not even handsome (though he fit the bill for that too, it just wasn't what she was thinking at that moment).

Jake Peralta was a thing of beauty.

He looked all around trying to make sense of their surroundings with excitement and intrigue- it was easy enough to tell that it was a backyard, but he still didn't recognize whose it was yet.

When he turned his smile to her he looked a little bit magical in the firelight that night.

He waited expectantly for an answer to an unsaid question almost bouncing on his toes, and sighed when he realized the question actually needed to be said.

"So? Where are we?"

"You were right about the deja vu. We've been here before."

He took another look around, and she didn't blame him for not recognizing it. It was the middle of the night, and the only light was from the fire pit, which was a new addition she had brought special for the occasion.

But then she saw his eyes focus over her shoulder and see the light reflecting off the surface of the water and he finally placed it. The backyard they had been to before with a pool they had a wonderful time in.

"No!" Jake gasped, and she laughed. She knew he was going to like it, but his eyes were lit up even brighter than the fire and amazement shone across his face. "What? Why? _What_? Why are we here? When'd you do this? Oh my god, does my aunt know? _What_? _What_?"

He shook his head in disbelief but looked positively thrilled.

She stepped closer to the fire pit and sat down on a blanket that she had laid out before hand, one that he probably didn't even notice until the moment he joined her on the ground. There wasn't any precipitation lately, but if there was it would have been snow. Even all bundled up, and a blanket separating them from the ground it was still a bit chilly, but Amy was a forward thinker and had other blankets off to the side that she wrapped around their shoulders.

Jake could go so quick from bouncy and bubbly to straight and serious, but now he was just… Jake. Like some sort of homeostasis. Usually there was a bit of something tipping around, like one of those balance boards. Just a little spark of something to send him wobbling, and always wonderful.

But now it was just him. All and only him. Real, and whole, and Jake.

Even when he was off kilter he was still perfect and every piece of him was wonderful. But the serenity and his soft smile with the closeness in the goddamn _firelight_ made it all unreal. Like she was watching through a dream almost, unreal and very real at the same time. Perfect that they had really made it there, and that this was finally happening.

The feeling she had right now was more of dreamy contentment that she was very present for. The warm and floaty feeling reminded her of the last time she was given prescription pain killers for some sort of on the job injury. Just a feeling of beautiful unreality. An ever present warmth radiating from lovely and listless bones.

Nights like these didn't happen to people, such inner contentment from being wrapped in someone else's arms. Every second of loving him felt like a dream that just kept getting better and better.

She could feel her heart beating, but it wasn't too fast or too slow. Just a steady, natural beating that was the pace she had been waiting her whole life to get too. Jake made her heart beat _right_.

"We actually have permission this time," Amy cuddled into him and chose to ignore the scowl that was beginning to tug at his lips that it was unquestionably _legal_ this time around. She started tugging at his nose in order to turn that scowl into a smile, and it worked until he started batting her off mid laughter.

"Hey, just making sure it didn't fall off," she held up her hands in surrender even though she couldn't help but laugh too.

"I really did steal your idea though. The firepit's for these," Amy pulled out a bag of marshmallows and some honest to god skewers and handed one to him so they could roast marshmallows like actual human beings. "Candle didn't work so well last time. Your aunt's nice too. You don't talk bad about any of your family, even some that you would be more than justified talking about, but you never sound close with anyone but your mom, and when your Nana was around. But your aunt seems nice. She actually offered to vacate the premises so it wouldn't even be a little bit awkward if she was still asleep in her house right now, and I didn't even have to use the fire pit as leverage. So you and I are going to write her a very nice thank you note soon."

"Nah, she's a pretty nice person. We can thank her in person," Jake said easily.

She was a little unsure about saying stuff about his aunt cause he was weird about family sometimes and she didn't want to make him feel weird about it or anything, but his aunt seemed like she really liked him, and loved him like everyone around him should. And still something bad could have went down that no one was mentioning or even hinting at to her, but they really should do the whole meet the family stuff together from now on.

But they met his mom together, and his mom was nice, and it was his mom's sister so she had hope. And it made her happy to hear him say that they'd thank her together in person.

Jake didn't do personal, or family, and especially not thank yous. But Jake and Amy could do all of those things together, and more.

"I'm letting her keep the fire pit anyway. Not like we have a place for it."

* * *

"The first time we were here was literally the best date of my life, so you failed on making it the worst one that time night too. You suck at planning bad dates."

"How about this one? New best date in your life? Can it be scored even though it isn't over yet?"

"I already know this one is going to be the second best, for sure. No doubt about it."

"But it hasn't even ended yet! How do you know it won't be the best?" He pouted, and almost sounded offended. He sounded like he was offended that the first date he ever took her on was going to be her favorite for all time, and every subsequent date with him was just going to be her second favorite, third favorite, and so on. Even though he had all of her favorites reserved for him, he seemed bothered that she wasn't even giving him the chance to break his top record. Or like he was offended that she doubted he could beat the record.

"Face it, Peralta. You're never going to beat the date where you said you loved me for the first time."

Jake tried to hide behind a sulk, but she saw his face when he heard her answer. He thought it was a good answer too.

* * *

"I think I like your version better," Jake told her truthfully as he took a bite of crispy marshmallow to undercut the seriousness of the statement.

He was still weird about serious stuff with her, but he was much better about it too.

There was so much she deserved to hear and so much he wanted to tell her. So much that he could never even hope to get close to all of it, but he was going to try. Keep trying. He was always trying to let her know how she was just… everything.

How perfect she was, and how great she looked with the light flickering on her face, everything else in existence shrouded in shadow.

Amy Santiago was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

And he just- he had her.

Amy Santiago was his. She was just… he couldn't… he didn't have anything for her.

Everything he was and everything he had ever been was hers. It had always been hers. He had always been hers.

It had already been a year and sometimes he still couldn't believe she loved him.

Well, he believed it. He believed every word she had ever said to him, especially I love you.

But sometimes he'd snap out of it, or snap into it, and it would all seem like a dream. The best dream he had ever had, one he never wanted to end, and he never wanted to wake up from.

But then she'd come along and place a hand on him and snap him back into it, or out of it, and drag him back to the reality of Amy Santiago's love.

And he could never find the right words for her. To tell her. To tell her how happy she made him, to thank her and let her know how grateful he was that she gave him _any_ of her time, and all of her smiles, and every single kiss.

He could never find the right words to tell her just how much she meant to him, and how much he loved her.

He didn't think that any language on earth would be capable of having a sentence that perfectly described everything he felt when he looked at her.

And he'd told her before that he literally didn't know any words that would ever translate thoughts and emotions and all of that sappy stuff into something that she would be able to understand, because it just wasn't possible to communicate it. And whenever he said something along the lines of that, she'd always say how that let her know all she needed to know.

But it always felt like a cop out (to him). She thought his suckiness with words was romantic every time he acknowledged it, but every time he acknowledged it it was an apology.

Then she would reassure him that a word or words like that didn't exist and the romantic part was that he was trying to express it at all and didn't just give up, and that he emotioned about her so much that they're weren't words, because somehow some people had emotions about Amy Santiago that could be boxed into the confines of the English language.

But she deserved a word, or a sentence, or a paragraph, or a whole damn novel.

Amy Santiago deserved her own language.

And he couldn't even tell her how he didn't have the words as much as he should (because for some reason she loved that apology). Cause even though he was better with serious stuff since her, and with her, he still wasn't too good at it.

And then he'd apologize for not being able to say _the_ apology enough to her, and she would tell him she didn't need any words from him at all because she already knew.

And that made him just as happy as _the_ apology inexplicably made her.

He would give her anything. She deserved the world, and the sky full of stars, and the whole entire universe.

She deserved so much more than stupid words.

Most of all, she deserved to be happy.

And she said he made her happy.

And he believed every word she had ever said to him, especially I love you.

"And why's that?" She asked as she laid her head on his shoulder. It really was like a dream with her, just calm and warm. There was still a bit of a chill, but the layers, blankets, fire, and Amy more than made up for it.

"Cause this is like a real date. As real as one can get in my aunt's backyard," he clarified with a smile and a scrunched nose. Everything about it was ridiculous, and it was great. "I don't know, I guess I just like doing real stuff with you. Like on the first worst date I failed on the rooftop. It's nice. So this date with the millionth I love you is the best date of my life, and the first I love you is the second best. But it's a very close call. Neck and neck. Need to use a high speed camera to see which crosses the finish line first, and this date was just barely ahead, but it's still definitely the best date of my life."

"I like doing anything with you," Amy murmured like it even needed to be said out loud. The fact that they both liked doing basically anything together was more than abundantly clear to both parties. Jake huffed a laugh that looked like dragon smoke in the winter air.

"I'm surprised you didn't correct me on the number. Are there even a million seconds in a year?"

"I don't know and I don't care. Over or under it's close enough. I love you. Now it's a million and one."

* * *

"Lemme see the picture you took. I bet I look fresh to death. And totally arousing since I'm still blindfolded."

"Can't," Amy shook her head. "You can't see them until they're printed out."

"C'mon Ames," he whined. "Surprise is over and I loved it so there's no use hiding it since I know about it. Unless you wanna use it as masturbation fodder. Then I might consider letting you off the hook."

Amy scoffed a smile and bumped into his shoulder and grabbed his hand since they had ungloved in the presence of the fire. His thumb pad was rubbing circles in the thenar space that stretched between her thumb and forefinger, smoothing the skin with the with repetitive motion.

"Don't be stupid. I can't see them either. It's literally impossible to see them printed out."

He gave her a pointed look for her to get on with the explanation.

"There's no playback since it's not digital, or even involving anything electrical."

She shuffled around the deep pockets of her winter coat to fish out the disposable camera and dropped it in his waiting hands.

"They still make these? Did you have to buy it on eBay? I mean I know they're bringing back those old timey shaky ones for like 100 bucks now, but these aren't old enough to be the cool type of retro. Between film reels and blu ray, this is the VHS of cameras. Where'd you even get this?"

"If anywhere on earth is likely to be the last bastion of disposable cameras, it's New York. Someone's bound to drop their smartphone in one fountain or another at least once a week."

In the middle of her explanation he started taking all of the pictures left on the reel, focusing on everything and nothing around them at all different angles.

That was why she only took one, because she knew he'd love shooting all around. He was even taking pictures of his hands and using the viewfinder like a magnifying glass.

Jake liked physical photographs, and he liked experiences more than just stuff that gets put on the shelf. He got excited over new and cool objects, but most of everything got put on the shelf eventually. And even if he hadn't touched something in forever, or even looked at it, he wouldn't get rid of it.

He attached memories of significance to objects. He wasn't willing to give up his massage chairs even though two were completely ruined and wouldn't work at all, and all six were ripped and scratched pleather. When she said that she would get him a brand new massage couch because all of that money was worth it if he was just willing to throw the six chairs out, he still didn't want to.

She finally figured out the reasoning behind why he always hoarded the weirdest things after so many times of her just not getting it. He had a lot of knick knacks, but those were more like things a squirrel would stockpile away. The hoarding (what she considered hoarding instead of stockpiling) was when he kept broken things or incredibly boring and useless things.

She got the need for mementos. She really did.

But usually people kept mementos of keepsakes, not mementos of stuff they had broken.

Jake was afraid of forgetting things.

While it wasn't reality TV levels, it was a little out of control.

* * *

 

* * *

" _Okay. Write down what's so important about this. Take a pen and write down everything you want to remember about it, and even stuff you don't care about remembering it. After you write it down, and if you decide that you still want to keep it after you have a written copy, I swear that I will never mention it again."_

_Jake started gagging, even though he knew that every time he did it that realistically it made her want to gag too. He hadn't done so yet, but she swore that one day he was going to be fake throwing up so hard that he actually was going to throw up, and the thought made her skin crawl._

" _That is so lame," he said, but all she cared about was the fact that he stopped gagging. "I'd rather just get rid of everything I own than do something as lame as that. Just toss it all," he swept his hand over everything in sight, and then himself. Amy really was tempted to take the offer to toss him out at the moment. Or at least toss him off of the stupid ripped massage chair he was sitting on and using a second one (that had the backboard broken and couldn't even hold a charge anymore) as a foot rest._

" _Then you're gonna start resenting me for throwing out all of this junk. And it is junk. And you're really missing out on this because if you just do it I won't complain about you caring so much about absolute trash."_

_Jake just shrugged._

" _Sometimes I hate how stubborn you are."_

* * *

_He started gagging every time she brought the subject up the rest of the week._

* * *

_She wasn't at all sure that having it written down would make a difference, but he wouldn't even try. All she wanted him to do was try, and after he tried he could keep it and it would all be fine. But he was so stubborn that he wouldn't even consider doing it because it was 'dorky' or whatever insult he wanted to use. It was weird how many synonyms he used for lame. The most recent new one he brought in was 'scrub'. Of course it was a verb, and then an article of clothing (which one of his favorite shows was named after) but the only time she had ever heard it used as an insult before was an TLC song._

_But apparently TLC was back in style now._

* * *

" _I'll write it for you," Amy capitulated. It was annoying that she had to turn it into basically a favor for her, but she really wanted him to try because she was desperate for the trash to go. She didn't actually want to get rid of stuff that he actually cared about, but he cared about huge pieces of trash and at least she was attempting to find a solution. "Just sit in one of your massage chairs like a throne and just dictate it to me like I'm a-"_

" _Pleb," he supplied, or really interrupted because she didn't even pause because she already had a word to say, but she didn't bother bringing it up in case that would make him more argumentative._

" _Like I'm a_ _pleb_ _, and I promise that every insult you say about how lame I am I will put in word for word."_

" _I'm considering it," he said with narrowed eyes._

" _An official record of how lame I am in my own handwriting," she reframed the offer into words he would find more appealing._

" _Done."_

* * *

" _So all I have to do is tell you about it and then I can keep it without you bothering me about it anymore?" Jake asked as he sat in the massage chair that was in the best condition. She said he should describe one that wasn't in the room so he'd get down what needed to be remembered about it._

" _Yup."_

" _First of all, you're a filthy pleb, Amy."_

" _Love you too."_

* * *

_She never realized how good his memory actually was until he told her about how almost all of the damage was done to it. They started with the one that was cracked in half so it wasn't a surprise that he remembered how he did that, but all the inconsequential marks he remembered how he got them too._

_For some reason she always assumed he had gotten all six chairs at the same time. Probably because his excuse for all six was always there wasn't such thing as a 'massage couch' (though that excuse was now invalid in the current year). But apparently he bought the second after the first stopped working, and the third and fourth together after the second stopped working, and the fifth and sixth were individual purchases._

_She was sure he planned the lyrics in advance to break out into song mid description about how much of a "chump" she was since she promised to write it down. But she also learned the memory that attached the significance to it (though he tried to breeze right past it because he wasn't good with significant moments). It was the first thing he bought after depositing the first ever pay check he had ever earned from his first summer job as a teenager. While he wasn't old enough to buy alcohol as per the usual celebration customs of stuff like that, most people would have gone with something in a similar direction- some kind of celebration treat like ice cream._

_But Jake went with a massage chair._

_It was obvious that was the reason it was important, but he said it the same way that he said that the most damage was done by being clumsy. The backboard was broken because he put all of his weight on it accidentally when he forgot he left it at the foot of his bed in the middle of the night._

_When he was done telling her all about it he clapped like he had bested her and said "Alright, now you can't bother me about it anymore!"_

* * *

_They went through all of the massage chairs in a couple of days, and even after they were all included in a written record of all of the insults he had thought up for Amy, he steadfastly refused to give them up._

_Like he wasn't keeping them just to spite her. Even before she did the whole loser writing thing._

_It was just stuff. He didn't always have a reason for keeping what he did, just that he wanted to so he did._

_Why throw it out if he didn't have to?_

_He wasn't that attached to stuff. It just wasn't necessary to get rid of it, so why not keep it?_

_And some of the stuff he'd decided to keep years ago and even if he wanted to throw them out they had always been loyal and junky to him, so he couldn't just throw stuff out that had made it through like three moves over the years. They earned it._

_He kept stuff for the same reason people kept pet rocks. He didn't know why people kept pet rocks, and he didn't know why he kept the stuff that he did, but he knew the reason was one and the same._

_He did the dumb describing thing for all of his chairs Amy was all 'now was that so hard' and of course Jake had to make a big deal about it and say that yes, it really was that hard. And now that it was over she couldn't bug him about them ever again._

* * *

_True enough she didn't mention them again. And she didn't even passive aggressively make him feel bad afterwards. She was all chill and like 'it was just an idea to try' and how he never told her any reason other than the couch excuse and maybe if he said the real reasons earlier she wouldn't have been left wondering._

_And after she said that he told her she was being disgustingly mushy and he didn't care that much about them._

 

* * *

_What he did do was keep the best two out and stacked the rest haphazardly in a mostly empty closet._

_But you couldn't be stubborn if you had nothing to be stubborn against._

 

* * *

" _What happened to all of the massage chairs? I was going to rearrange them so they wouldn't fall and kill the next unwitting person to open the closet. I can only see the super busted one. Where are the rest?"_

" _The original's still in the closet and the best ones are where they always are in the other room. The rest have gone to live on a farm upstate," he tried to brush off the sentimentality that she was going to assume came with the fact that he sent his massage chairs out to pasture. "I know you want to say I told you so. It's alright. I give you permission," Jake sighed and waited for it._

_Instead Amy kissed him a little longer than he was expecting and said "I love you."_

" _Pleb," he whispered when they parted good still grinning._

" _You know that's short for plebeian, which is a historically accurate term for commoners of ancient Rome. A filthy pleb is a filthy plebeian is a filthy Roman commoner. And while I know you got it from somewhere else and just realized it was an insult from context, it's still impressive that you know it," Amy informed him before turning her back and he could see how smug she was just in her saunter from the new random fact she had added to his education. By the time he had time to get over it she was in another room so he had to raise his voice to get her to hear him, but he did so anyway._

" _You ruin all of my insults!"_

* * *

 

* * *

So Jake liked memories, and anything that a 10 would like was bound to be something he'd love, and every 10 year old loved disposable cameras the first time they got their hands on one.

So this whole night was something he wouldn't put on the shelf because it was physically impossible, and though the camera was really just because she knew he would have fun with it, if she wanted to give him a memento of tonight pictures were a lot less cluttery than other physical objects. And she liked pictures of the two of them too.

It only took a few minutes before Jake spun the wheel and clicked but the sound didn't go off right and he realized he used up all of the pictures (even though it was a whole new role minus the one picture she took).

"Aw, I got excited and used them all up before I even got any of us."

"I figured this would happen," Amy said and handed him the second disposable camera with a whole new and unused roll. "There's 20 on it, and it's the last one, so chose your pictures wisely."

The first picture he took was one purposely up her nose.

Then he pulled her close and took a picture of the two of them while commenting on the usefulness of a selfie stick.

"We need to take another one. I think you blinked during that one," he said, even though she was sure he was wrong.

"I didn't blink during that one."

"You did."

"You weren't even looking. How did you see? Were you looking at the camera?"

"I was looking at the camera, but I know you and I'm sure you blinked."

"I didn't," she argued.

"One more, just for fun," he conditioned, but one turned into at least six. The first one was bunny ears ('for fun'), the second he kissed her on the cheek, and the third they were both smiling and laughing. She lost track of the ones following it, until Jake finally said they were all out.

But he lied, because a few minutes later when she was looking off and smiling because of him but not at him he took another picture, and promised that that one was the last one on the roll.

* * *

They loved how all of the pictures turned out, and of course he kept them all, but he said his favorite was the close up of inside her nostril. Most of them looked like they were taken by a kid too, with no focal point or a bit of his finger showing up. So many were blurry and dark, but they were all great.

And he was right. She did blink during that one.

* * *

"You know, it's the anniversary of the first time we had sex too, and you haven't done anything more than kiss me all day," Amy teased after they were all curled up under covers. It was 1 AM by the time they were pajama clad in bed and wrapped up for sleep, and even though they were having just the perfect time they pretty much had to call it quits when the firewood was dwindling down and their faces started freezing without it. Jake was usually all too eager to stay up past a reasonable bed time, but he looked even more exhausted than Amy felt. He was practically nodding off the whole ride home in the passenger seat, and when she would take another jab at him for it he'd just shift under his jacket that he was using as a blanket and mumble something about surprises and excitement making him tired.

He actually did fall asleep for at least half of the ride and really only jostled awake at some of the starts and stops in traffic. Amy took a picture of him at a stop light (with her phone) because he looked so damn adorable that she couldn't wait for driverless cars to become the mainstream so she would have been able to just look at him instead of stealing glances between watching the road.

It wasn't like he was that far from a teddy bear in the first place, but something about him in the seat reclined (only slightly, they were still driving after all) and his jacket draped over his shoulders (plus the pouty lips, couldn't forget those) that made him look so cute and innocent and... precious.

Really he probably would have just collapsed in bed without switching to PJ's if it wasn't the dead of winter.

But at her little tease he started whining and wailing like he was injured.

"Why'd you have to say that? I was just about to fall asleep and now I'm too exhausted to do anything! Why'd you have to bring that up?"

"What's the problem?" She asked knowing full well that it was bound to be stupid. Even though he was whining and acting all upset, it was clear he was too far gone to get worked up out of sleep mode.

"I wasn't even thinking about sex all day and I didn't even realize it! Why did you have to point that out?" Jake sounded so upset that she would have begun worrying at that point if she didn't know him so well.

"I still don't see the problem."

"Oh my god I'm so lame. Anniversaries are supposed to be about sex, not making the other person happy," Jake sounded so revolted that she just had to roll her eyes. His head was buried somewhere between her hair and the pillow and he had an arm wrapped around her that tightened when she shifted. It wasn't her fault that he was lying on his stomach on the bed and tilted on her in a way that he somehow found comfortable that night. He couldn't even cuddle like a normal person half the time, but it wasn't ever a question that her shifting was to make it more comfortable and get closer to him and had nothing to do with being offended at anything he said.

"This whole time I was just thinking about how impressed you'd be that I learned how to fucking fold a fucking fitted fucking sheet. I was never this lame before I started dating you. I actually used to be cool, y'know? Do you remember back when I was cool?"

"Well, we didn't actually have sex until after work so we've got at least till 6 PM tomorrow before our sexiversary is over if we're doing a whole year by the hour," she reassured him and nuzzled into his warmth.

"Thank you for saying sexiversary. It means a lot."

"I know it does. That's why I said it. Now go to sleep and I'll wake you up before dinner because you're an idiot who gets mad at calendars and I'm super duper cool."

"Oh, that's where it went," Jake murmured and managed to sound even more tired than he had before. "You're stealing all my coolness and ruining it by saying stuff like super duper. And I don't even mind."

"You'd better not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter of call backs.
> 
> So it's already Thursday and my brother is still late on helping me with my laptop like he promised to do on Tuesday. His excuse was that he needed to try something with my hard drive and his computer or something and he wouldn't even need to do all that external encaser thing, but he hasn't even attempted to hook it up his way simple first.
> 
> And I've got some stuff almost done, one shots and a bit more of multi chapters, but I have the next 2 chapters of Camera Obscura waiting completely finished on there, because I wrote it as one long chapter but split it up cause it was majorly long, and if I could just get access to it I could post the next chapter right away, and it's so frustrating knowing it's sitting there finished.
> 
> He knows I write fanfiction and that those are the documents I need salvaged, but I think I'm gonna have to show him all the reviews on that story and followers so I can let him know he's not just letting down his baby sister but all of you guys too.
> 
> x)
> 
> And there are way more than a million seconds in a year, by the way. There's more than a million seconds in two weeks. Amy not bothering to figure out the math (or not even bothering to try and remember if she already knew the fact or the simple steps to get there) was completely intentional.


	25. Family ties

“Uncle Jake! Uncle Jake! We missed you!” Abigail and Lizzie shouted in unison as they ran up to him. And he kneeled down to their height and and gave them a bear hug like he usually did when they attacked him and used him as something to climb on. It was almost like a secret handshake that was repeated every single time they saw each other, but instead of doing anything with hands they just scrambled on him while they told him about everything that had happened since they had last seen him.

“How are my two favorite people named Santiago? And don’t tell your aunt I said that. She’s gonna be mad she’s in third place on my list,” he said clearly within Amy’s earshot and she just smiled.

* * *

 

“What was that with Abigail and Lizzie?” Amy asked as she cornered her suspects in the kitchen. Not really suspects, because she knew it was them- nothing suspected. She cornered the perpetrators, who also happened to be her brothers.

So yeah, she was part of a big family who family was important to. Yes, they met up all together as regularly as their adult lives would allow. And since some of her extended family lived hours if not states away, Jake was more acquainted with the close living ones since they got to see them most often. And out of all of her nieces and nephews Jake had spent the most time with them since they lived the closest, and if there was a family meet up that Jake and Amy could go to, that meant that Nick, Jenny (Nick’s wife) and Abigail and Lizzie could probably go too by way of busy schedules and convenience. And of course they adored him. He was the cool relative, and fun. Even her older nieces and nephews who were too cool for anything liked him. He had a way of worming into people’s hearts. Teenage boys she thought he was guaranteed to get along with since they could bond over video games and stuff. But Jake was better at gossiping with 14 year old Kacey than Amy was. Seriously, when she had a boy problem she talked to Jake.

Amy was the aunt and she didn’t get the boy problems. Though none of her sister in laws got the boy problems either. Or her brothers. Jake got all of the boy problems.

So everyone adored him.

But he was bad with significant stuff that might be inconsequential to most people. And he was bad with emotional leaps.

“I know you encouraged it, because they wouldn’t say it otherwise. I told you before he’s not good with that type of stuff,” she was chewing out mostly Nick (since they were his kids) but she was sure that Lucas was compliant in the whole thing too. Lucas lived close and spent a lot of time with them so even if he wasn’t the instigator he was an enabler- if she had any doubt about it that was instantly cleared away by the look on his face.

“Amy, relax. It’s not a big deal,” Lucas brushed off like it was no big deal, and she was frustrated that they were so careless with it. And it had been over a year, but she had warned them about it.

“C’mon, Amy. They asked if they could call him uncle. What was I supposed to do? Say no? So we say Aunt Amy and Uncle Jake when you guys are coming over. It has a nice ring to it.”

“I warned you. He’s not good stuff like that. He’s horrible with stuff like that. Even though he doesn’t seem like it most of the time around you guys- I’ve told you before to be careful about it.”

“Yeah, we know, because we know Jake. You didn’t have to tell us because we know how he is now too. You’re not the only one watching out for him,” Nick said and she felt the slightest twinge of guilt.

Even if they weren’t watching out for him it wasn’t like they had ill intent in mind. She knew they loved him. They all loved him. They would never do anything to hurt him if at all avoidable.

The snappiness was because she thought they had disregarded everything she had said about it because they thought she was overexaggerating. She snapped because she assumed they were playing quick and loose with his feelings because they were used to teasing her hard and they couldn’t do that with him. She snapped because she thought they weren’t being careless with Jake to his or her face and were being careless when she wasn’t around to get mad at them because they knew they shouldn’t be doing it.

So she was a little overprotective of him. There wasn’t a lot she could do about how much she wanted to protect Jake.

“If things end badly between you two, it’s gonna be a tough choice. So don’t hurt him, Amy,” Nick grinned.

It followed the parameters of their usual teasing- and it was funny. She would have laughed if she didn’t get emotional at what they just said. Her brothers were aware of that too, so when she didn’t laugh and her eyes got a little misty and they thought they went a little too far.

“Amy, don’t get upset. I’m only joking about you guys breaking up,” Nick apologized with a sudden seriousness. He probably thought that she and Jake got in a fight or it was that time of the month, because what they just said was not something she would normally get upset over. But what they didn’t know was that while she was getting a little misty eyed she wasn’t upset- the exact opposite.

“No, that’s not it,” she waved off their concerned looks. “It’s just- he deserves more of that. More people to take his side and protect him and love him. It just means a lot. And he’d be so embarrassed if he knew I said that, but it just makes me happy to hear. And it’s not that I’m happy to know you approve of my boyfriend, cause you guys know I don’t care what you think. I’m happy that Jake has more people to love him.”

In the interest of brevity she said that she didn’t care what they thought, but they all knew what she meant. She came from a big family that family was very important to, Uncles and Aunts, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters. But Amy was stubborn and she never did anything she didn’t want to do. In the past when her brothers disapproved of the guys she was seeing it didn’t matter to her one bit. And if in some alternate reality where there was ever the chance of them disapproving of Jake, it wouldn’t have mattered either- because Amy loved him.

But he deserved so much more than her. And yeah, coming from her brothers it meant more than some random strangers- but Jake deserved people who loved him and never hurt him. Truth be told he deserved loads more than Amy, and relatives, and the nine nine.

While he wasn’t the best at reacting to emotional and family stuff, he deserved it. Even if he was embarrassed when people said they loved him, he deserved people who told him they loved him even if he was embarrassed- because he needed to hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't exactly feeling this chapter, but the next chapter that is related to this one I really am feeling, so I just decided to push through this one so I could get to working on the next one- rather than avoiding it all together. Hopefully you couldn't tell how not-feeling I was with this chapter. Next chapter will involve some cuddling, and that's the feelings I wanna get into right now.
> 
> Gotten busy lately and ostensibly will be busier for a while, so sorry if my updates lag.
> 
> Also, I retroactively added titles to all of the chapters cause I was tired of trying to find a specific scene that I wanted to go over in case I reference it again and I was tired of trying to guess if it was chapter 7 or 15 that I did it in, so tada.  
> Some are chapter titles are a little more ambiguous so no spoilers for new readers, but retroactively I think all or most of them make enough sense that someone can tell which is which in hindsight.


	26. Snuggle bug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Direct follow up of chapter 25 "Family Ties"

“Abigail and Lizzie called you Uncle today,” Amy pointed out when they were laying in bed that night. He didn't seem like he even noticed it that day- and she was sure he would have shown it if he did (she could always tell when he was hiding something). Really she only brought it up now so he wouldn't be in the middle of something important when it hit him randomly weeks later- like in the middle of a deposition and he would have to forgo his mess of a mouth with personal problems in front of a court room.

“Yup,” he said simply, when she _knew_ nothing like this was ever simple with him. Nothing like this ever _could_ be this simple with him.

“And you're okay with that? That didn't freak you out?” She pressed and waited for his freak out to happen right that second. Verbally processing his personal problems while all snuggly and ready for sleep was a much better place to work it out then in the middle of legal proceedings or a high speed chase- it always hit him at the worst moment. So head hit the pillow tired and happy was a best case scenario for a processing situation.

But he wasn't even a little freaking out. He was suspiciously calm.

“How are you not freaking out? You're being weird. Normal Jake would not be this calm about any emotional family things. What did you do with him?” She poked him in the face to test if he would react like normal Jake would, but he looked at her like she was crazy so the test was inconclusive.

“You're the weird one. It's not a big deal.”

“It is a _very_ big deal.”

“It's really- god, would you stop poking me?” He grabbed her finger after her fifth jab and his annoyed face did look like normal Jake's annoyed face, but she still had her doubts. “It's not a big deal. Your family's pretty cool anyways.”

“Jake, Abigail and Lizzie are calling you uncle. I don't think they're just _my_ family anymore.”

With that he stopped looking at her like she was crazy and weird and just looked at her like he loved her. Which was honestly how he looked at her most of the time. Sometimes his look was 'I love you but I also think you're insane', 'I love you and you're a total dork', or 'I love you but you poking me incessantly in the face is really annoying' but there was always the love in his looks. The look he had on now was just plain old 'I love you'.

Amy kissed his 'I love you' face and settled her head on his chest so even though she couldn't see his love look she could feel his arm wrapped around her and it was all the same- all of that sappy love. She really was content to leave it there because this was a short but emotional conversation that actually ended well, but almost as soon as his fingers started tracing circles on her hip he spoke again.

“It really isn't a big deal. And I agree with Nick. It has a nice ring to it.”

That's when it all clicked for her. He didn't freak out right when it happened because he didn't realize it, but when he did realize it he got to process it by himself- that's how he was so cool about it now. Because he was prepared.

“I didn't know you heard all of that. Listening in on us?” She smiled because she knew the answer.  
“I think it's in the Geneva conventions that it's my legal right to eavesdrop on a conversation that's about me. That or the patriot act. Or maybe it's no child left behind. One of those three,” he impressively named three actual legal documents for his absolutely made up social rule, and all Amy could do was sigh. “And you're right. I was completely embarrassed. But I was also really happy.”

* * *

 

He got why people were careful around him with the whole family thing. Sometimes he hated how affected he was by it. Like it wasn't like kids parents didn't get divorced all the time, so it wasn't some traumatic thing. And people were more careful around him since he was really from a two person family. Like it would be different if Jake was an only child with two parents or if he had siblings but no dad. But since it was just him and his mom everyone thought that made the whole family situation that much more fragile. People worried about even mentioning it around him lots of times. Like it would remind him off all the stuff he missed out on or something, like he had forgotten it until the moment someone brought it up.

With the whole family deal it was like people thought that by mentioning their own happy family memories it was reminding him of his own unhappy memories, but most of the time those were just memories to him.

Like if he had a lot of good memories with his dad and if his dad died when he was a kid, then people bringing up their good-dad memories might have been more upsetting because it would have reminded Jake of the good memories he had with his dad too. But Jake’s father was more of an absentee- so the good memories never existed in the first place.

Damn, that made it sound even more depressing than it did before. He had good memories with his dad, before and after the age of 7. But people having good memories with big families didn’t remind him of this big gaping wound he had.

It wasn't nostalgia for the good ol' days when people brought it up- it was just sharing memories. It wasn't like Jake was out searching for acceptance to fill some sort of hole, it was just an additional relationship when he got close with people. New people weren't a replacement, and they weren't making up for a subtraction as some sort of reimbursement. He wasn't searching for inclusion, but he wouldn't refuse it anymore than the next person. He pushed off inclusion a lot more than normal people until he was sure about it (because he was still messed up about relationships, just not in the exact ways that most people assumed).

The thing with his dad was suckish at the time- and it was suckish that it happened at all, and it was still suckish at the front of his mind on occasion, but it wasn't like that was all there was. There were a lot more important things. He had a lot more important things now.

Jake had a lot more important people now.

It wasn't like Amy resolved all of his issues, but damn did she help. He was still fritzy about stuff, but he was a lot less fritzy than when she was just a coworker. She was a skilled de-fritzer.

So Amy helped him, but most of all she made him happy.

She said Jake helped her too, but he didn't see it that way so he shrugged that off to himself. But when she said that Jake made her happy, there wasn't any other way to see it so he couldn't have shrugged it off even if he wanted to. When she said Jake made her happy, that was the absolute truth.

* * *

 

She knew he was bad with emotions- that was what the whole conversation was about since he eavesdropped on her and her brothers talking about how bad he was with emotions.

There were times when it was all good and jokey how bad he was at them, and Jake would smile and she would smile too- because they knew each other.

But sometimes she went all serious on him, when she thought it was the right time. In bed next to each other after having a good day when he was joking about emotions was one of the times that Amy thought was right.

He was still grinning when she lightly brushed the fringe on his forehead before kissing it and whispering “You deserve to be loved.”

He stilled and quieted in the sincere moment, but she knew it was a good still. A placid but heavy still.

She only did the sincere and weighty stuff when it was just the two of them when she felt it was a good time.

Kissing and saying I love you in front of other people were never problems on either side, but the real deep love stuff was what he was bad with so she only brought it up when it was the two of them at a very good time.

When it was one of the times she knew he liked hearing it.

Even if he absolutely hated being told that she loved him more than anything in the world, she would still bring in those serious times because he needed to be reminded every now and again. Just how much she truly loved him.

He needed the sincere moments. Luckily he was okay with the sincere moments with her by now. Sometimes they’d move on from them and still be happy and genuine with light teasing, sometimes he’d show her how he felt right then by kissing her, and sometimes he would talk.

It had taken a while to get up to the talking. She never asked him to talk, and reassured him that he didn’t need to say anything in response. But he said he never talked to anyone like that, so when he talked to her he wanted to talk to her.

He still didn’t talk about deep stuff all too often, but of course she loved talking with him.

In the beginning she thought that he felt obligated to open up, but when she knew he was just talking because he wanted to she got to just be there for him. When she knew he was talking because he’d finally found someone he could talk to (at the right moments) she got to just listen.

So just now the kiss on the forehead was a good moment, but it was his choice what he wanted to do with it then.

“Sorry for dragging you down with all that seriousness just then,” Amy smiled soft and brushed her thumb across his cheek.

“I like it when you drag me down. I love you. And I know I don’t say-”

“You don’t need to say anything,” she interrupted him so he wouldn’t feel guilty, and he traced her lips with his thumb as a sign and a motivation to be quiet.

“Just shut up for a second and listen,” he smiled and she chuckled before kissing his thumb that was still on her lips.

“I don’t say it enough, but you’re everything. You’re just everything, Amy.”

* * *

 

“I can't protect you anymore,” Amy declared and effectively washed her hands from the inevitable fallout coming in the future. Jake now had fair warning so she couldn't be held responsible from that moment on.

“And what were you protecting me from in the first place?” Jake asked clearly amused.

“You're an only child. You don't get how brutal older siblings can be. Older brothers. Not just cause I'm a girl and they're all guys. It's cause I'm the youngest. There's a hierarchy. Michael's the second youngest, and he's got everybody else above him too. They were being nice originally cause they're nice people, and then they were going easy on you because you're my boyfriend and you're a nice person, but you don't count as my boyfriend anymore.”

“I don't?” He grinned. “Do tell what I count as now.”

“You don't count as my boyfriend to them. Once you go from Amy's boyfriend named Jake to just Jake you don't get any free passes. You're getting full out family member teased. There's no stopping it. You're getting indoctrinated into sibling rivalry teasing. Welcome to my world, Jake. Just keep in mind it's how they show affection and that they love you. If they didn't like you they would be saying polite stuff to your face and grumbling about you behind your back. But since they do like you they're teasing you to your face and saying nice stuff to your face, and saying really, _really_ nice stuff behind your back because they think it'll make you uncomfortable.”

“Your brothers like me more than you,” Jake teased with his lopsided grin half pressed into the pillow.

Things were so good with him. Life was so good with him. Her life was so good with Jake. Just snuggling with him and pillow talking it up. Falling asleep next to his grin and waking up and having to drag his frown out of bed so they wouldn’t be late to work. Everything was great with Jake. Amy was great with Jake.

* * *

 

“I wonder if there's a tertiary list for significant others. I've never thought about it before. Technically you're older than me and Michael and younger than Lucas, but I'm pretty sure you're below both of us on the pecking order. My sister-in-laws are older than all three of us though-”

“Oh my god, just go to sleep. It doesn't matter at all- not one bit. Whoever teases whoever- just let it go, or figure it out some other time. It just want to fall asleep next to my girlfriend but all of her thinking is keeping me up. So stop thinking and go to sleep,” he whined and she had to admit that she was pretty tired too. “I'll help you think it out tomorrow. Or just repeat all of your thoughts so you can hear them out loud. Tomorrow. As in after rest. Okay?”

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was way better than the last if just in writing style alone, but it started out just as sucky even though I wanted to work on it, but I kinda took a few days for an emotional reboot and now I'm getting back into the swing of things and destressing so I rewrote this chapter, but I don't feel like rewriting the last chapter so I'm leaving it as it.


	27. Dinner reservations

Amy took him on serious dates all the time. Like grown up romantical dates. Super cliché and sappy and mushy, and she did all of that cause those were his favorite. Like real dates.

He had told her as much before. He liked doing real stuff with her. He wasn't necessarily good at it, but he liked it none the less. He liked the peanuts on the roof top where it was just them enjoying each other's company. He liked the roasting marshmallows on a fire pit and not a candle. Well, he liked both of them, but fire pit normal adult datey-stuff was his favorite. He liked the stuff that was so cliché it made him cringe. Even cringing throughout the whole thing he liked it.

But he wasn't good at planning mushy stuff of the serious type. Even when he tried he was just bad at it. It just felt forced and faked no matter how hard he tried to plan the cliché stuff right. That was why it felt forced, cause he had to try super hard to even get maybe slightly close to serious, but the trying really hard was what forced it.

But Amy did the serious stuff effortlessly. Or just her normal amount of effort that she put into everything, nothing over her normal level of effort. She was good at serious stuff. So she planned serious stuff for him that they could do together.

Whenever Amy planned something cliché it always felt right.

Jake wasn't good at organizing stuff, and the serious stuff always needed to be organized and some sort of advance planning that he couldn't make sense of in a way that worked out in the end.

And Amy loved his weird and wacky ideas, all the spontaneous stuff that just came naturally to him, so those were the kind of dates he took her on.

It wasn't like they had an every Friday date night set up like some couples did, because with their job doing something on a set regular basis would crash apart pretty quickly. Date nights were more or less something fun together that they did when the case loads were light. There really wasn't any way of predicting too far in advance how busy they'd be, so it was just going out and having fun together instead of staying in and having fun together if they had something in mind.

* * *

“Hey babe,” Jake said as soon as Amy picked up her cell phone, even though she had half a mind to just reject his call. He always did this, without fail. “I've gotta work late tonight, so can you cancel our dinner reservation? I promise I'll make it up to you. We can even-” Jake was cut off by Amy promptly ending the call and kicking him under the desk.

She thought he would get tired of that little joke eventually, calling her and telling her he had to work late when she was sitting right across from him because they _both_ had to work late on the same case that night, but he never did.

“Uh- rude!” He gasped staring at his cell phone before looking up and staring at her, then leaned over the table and almost knocked over her pen cups in the process of pretending to be scandalized all up in her personal space bubble. “Amy, can you believe my girlfriend just hung up on me without even saying goodbye? Or saying hello? Where are her manners?”

“Maybe if you stopped wasting time calling me when I'm a foot away we might have actually closed this case by now,” she muttered as she tried to keep down her smile from his goofy antics, but it broke through anyway.

And, okay, maybe it was completely adorable every time he did that, and maybe she didn't mind it at all, and maybe she wanted him to never stop doing that. And maybe Jake knew that. Okay, Jake definitely knew that. That's why he did it in the first place, cause it always made her smile without fail.

“You know, one of these days Boyle is gonna overhear you making one of those calls when I'm right next to you and he's gonna have a brain aneurysm cause of how adorable you are.”

* * *

The great thing about dating another cop is you never have to apologize for rescheduling dinner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes, it has been forever since I've updated this. My apologies.  
> I kinda had a b99 anniversary on June 10th, since June 10th 2015 was the date that I saw my first episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine (we don't have a TV in my house, we just watch shows on the computer so it was still in my internet history the day I sat down with my mom to watch the pilot and I fell in love).  
> So a year of B99. Thanks for all the support.
> 
> I also hit 19 today, so only two more birthdays to go until I can legally purchase alcohol, so I guess I've got that milestone to look forward to.
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well and safe.


	28. Cool list

"Dude, how does that not bother you?" Rosa asked with pure disgust. This had been going on for twenty minutes straight, and just being forced to sit across from it was the torture. She kept waiting for Jake to at least react (he'd probably say something gross and cheesy because they were both freaks), or at least make a joke. But the whole conversation he didn't even notice. Twenty minutes of this and he hadn't even noticed. She finally said something about it part out of morbid curiosity and part because no one had acknowledged it yet, and she hoped to god that once it was acknowledged it would stop.

"What?"

"That," Rosa nodded down to Amy, and Jake looked down, then back to Diaz, still not getting it.

"Like I said, what?"

He wasn't sure what was so controversial about Amy leaning against him in the restaurant booth. Jake and Amy, sitting across from Rosa and Charles, getting their drink and eating on after closing a case that took over a month of them all working their asses off- he didn't see what was so shocking about it.

Before their food even came Amy downed two shots and started working on some specialty fishbowl margarita, so the alcohol hit her pretty quick. By the time food did come she had laid her head on his shoulder and had been eating her fries one by one ever since.

And to Charles credit he did not say anything creepy about it (yet), and Jake just chose to ignore his broad smile and keep carrying on the conversation because if he even told Charles to stop being weird he'd probably launch into some huge thing about undying love and the beauty of their relationship, so Jake decided to choose his battles. Case in point, choosing not to acknowledge the huge grin on his best friend's face when it really was hella unsettling and he wished more than anything it would stop.

But he didn't know what Rosa was so upset about. Yeah, she probably considered Amy laying her head on his shoulder as a gag worthy display, but c'mon, it wasn't that bad. And Amy had been silent pretty much the whole time, so it was actually pretty tame all things considered.

He wasn't surprised that Rosa was disgusted, but he was surprised she was _this_ disgusted. This was nothing compared to when Rosa and Adrian hadn't started dating yet and were doing that _way_ over the line flirting at work. It was like watching a documentary on animal planet about two deadly predators doing a mating dance, and it was a million times worse than Amy laying her head on his shoulder now.

Rosa's grimace and honest to god snarl was completely undeserved.

"I'm gonna barf if I have to keep sitting across from the cruel and unusual punishment that is Santiago's PDA. But how can you stand it so long? How are you still not annoyed at that? So weird and touchy," she shuddered like the mere idea of mindless yet appropriate PDA made her skin crawl. "I'd break the finger off of anyone who even tried to pop my space bubble. Seriously, I've been forced to sit across from this for half an hour and I can barely stand even looking in your direction. How hasn't half an hour of that gotten on your nerves yet? It's awful."

Charles was so ecstatic and Rosa so disgusted because it was a little bit more than that just some normal PDA.

Amy was really more of curled against him, almost laying on her side with both her feet up off the floor, knees bent, tucked in to the wall of the booth as she rested on him. She went back and forth from playing with his hair downright _dreamily,_ to dragging her fingers idly on his shoulders, down his torso, basically just tracing him in silence for close to half an hour.

"I dunno, I guess I'm used to it?"

"It's beautiful. It's like a dream come true," Boyle said like it was the most romantic thing he had ever seen.

He almost looked like he was gonna cry at the sappiness, and Jake just rolled his eyes (he was tempted to shake his head, but he held off on showing how disappointed he was in Boyle so he wouldn't jostle Amy). "When my mom used to read me fairytales as a bed time story when I was a kid, this is the kind of love I was picturing. Just looking at you two right now, I can't... it's a cop fairy tale romance that every one needs to hear about."

"Boyle, you're making this a thousand times more disgusting than this already was. It's sickening. And Peralta, you should probably have Amy committed cause there's definitely something wrong with her if she does this so often you're used to this kind of torture. We all knew Amy was partly insane, but she's going insaner and insaner and one day she's gonna snap."

"I'm right here you know?" Amy finally spoke up since they were all talking about her like she was unconscious. She didn't even bother to tear her eyes away from Jake's face, still running her hands over him with the easy and floaty contentment no matter what anyone said.

"Her drink count gets a little wonky when she switches from hard liquor to beer," Jake explained to their friends across the table, paying Amy's interruption no mind. "Or in this case shots to margaritas. She gets a little touchy around mixed drink number four. I keep asking her to do the math when she's sober about alcohol proofs and percentages so I can have a cheat sheet, but she won't do it. I just want a list on my phone that says 'One drink Amy is 100 alcohol points, two drink Amy is 200 alcohol points' and so on, and then her doing the math stuff and make a list like 'A shot is 100 alcohol points, a beer is 20 alcohol points, Margarita's like 65 alcohol points, and so on' and then I can just add it up on my phone's calculator and be like 'oh, Amy's at 360 alcohol points, should probably think about heading home soon before she gets to four-drink Amy and starts yelling about sex'. But _no,_ she refuses to make me a cheat sheet when I know she could do it all in her head," he narrowed his eyes and glared down at her in the half joking/half serious sense of the word glare, and she stuck her tongue out at him. "She refuses to help me when all I want is just a bit of fair warning for when she starts to get weird. Or, you know, weirder. Or switching weirdness. Is that too much to ask? A list to help me out when she gets drunk and gets weird?" He was really hoping to get some validation or support from the normal-ish people across the table, or maybe even a pat on the back for coming up with something so ingenious, but before Charles or Rosa could tell him how awesome and amazing his idea was and lavish him with praise Amy broke the silence. She didn't even give them the opportunity to tell Jake how smart he was, cause he knew that was what they were gonna say, cause who wouldn't?

"Wrong, I get amazing is what I get," Amy declared way too loudly with an over inflated sense of ego that was usually reserved for her partner right beside her. "I get so cool. I get so much cooler than all you losers," she waved her hand over Jake, then over at the two across the table to lump them in with him as losers.

He knew he should probably stop her before she said something she would regret tomorrow, but with the way this was going she was probably going to end up saying something hilarious and he knew he couldn't miss out on that.

And okay, maybe it was incredibly endearing when she started getting into tipsy smack talk, and she always looked super cute with the flush on her cheeks from the alcohol that never died down until she was completely sober. She would probably get upset if he told her she looked adorable and go on a rant how she was awesome and cool and not adorable, but every time something like this happened he couldn't help but think she looked adorable. The pink cheeks, messy hair, and her god awful insults when she'd try to slam everyone around with her hilarious overconfidence was so frickin' cute and endearing that he just wanted to kiss her, but he held back cause of the two people sitting across from them that would die from disgust and happiness, respectively.

Amy's messy hair fell in her face as she tried to sit up straighter to continue her cool speech, but after two seconds of struggle she seemed to decide that it wasn't worth trying to sit up straight and just let her head fall back on Jake's shoulder before continuing to lay out the 'facts'.

"I'm the coolest right now. Rosa's the second coolest," Amy nodded across the table like she just paid the highest compliment, and Rosa rolled her eyes and knocked back down the third round of shots the table had ordered. "Me on top. Then Rosa. Then Charles. Then the waitress over there. Next the bartender. Then that guy at the table over there. Then everybody else in the bar. Last there's Jake. So uncool. But I'll let you on the cool list if you ask nicely. I can move you up to cooler than the bartender but less cool than the waitress if you convince me you deserve it."

"I know exactly where I am on the cool list, Santiago," he chuckled. "I know exactly where I am on _your_ cool list."

"See, this is why you were _meant_ to be together," Charles said with the dreamiest look on his face. "It's the banter like this that proves what I've always known. If you two had just listened to me you could have been dating years ago. You could've been frenching this whole time. I wish I had my camera on me so I could take a picture of you two right now being all perfect and in love and print it out on little fridge magnets. And maybe some wallet photos. Or bookmarks. Ooo, I could get a mug with a picture of you kissing each other! It'd be the Jake and Amy make out mug. It'll be perfect," Charles actually _sighed,_ shaking his head with a wistful look as he once again took his support of their relationship to a mega creepy level. He'd gotten better at toning it down since it's been over a year, but it didn't take much to get him back to creepy over them. Especially since everyone knew that he would order that personalized mug in a heartbeat if he could.

He was seconds away from making himself swoon and pass out, and no one wanted that. Thankfully overconfident Amy took it upon herself to knock him back down to earth.

"Charles, not cool. You've been demoted. Now you're under the waitress and the bartender."

* * *

Santiago kept drinking and her insults kept coming and coming, each one weirder and more confusing than the last, even though they were obviously meant to be insults. She just told Rosa that she looked like someone who would own two fish instead of three before snickering to herself for a minute straight from what she obviously thought was some wicked smack talk.

"Two shots and this fishbowl margarita puts her right at the touchy stage with an undeserved amount of self confidence. She's not 3 drink Amy or 4 drink Amy, she's mixed drink Amy right now. Just know she doesn't mean the insults and don't hold them against sober Amy. She doesn't know what she's saying," Jake tried to explain since most of the time when the gang went drinking she stayed on the same strength of liquor, but as her boyfriend he had a lot more experience with hard liquor Amy, soft liquor Amy, and mixed drink Amy so he knew the stages better than anyone- much better than their friends that usually only encountered straight up hard liquor Amy drink count.

"I know what I'm saying!" Amy gasped at the accusation, sounding way more offended than she should. "I'm the best. Fact. Awesome and smart and cool. Don't try and deny it, Jake. You're not allowed to deny it."

As Santiago was lecturing him he gave Rosa and Charles a look that could only be interpreted as a tired 'see what I mean'.

"I am the best detective in this relationship," Amy continued, managing to pout and grimace at the same time. "I am the best snuggler in this relationship too. You should tell them this. I win so hard at our relationship. I should get a prize. Or a medal. I'm awesome at snuggling, I'm awesome at kissing, I'm awesome at sex, I'm awesome at tying sex knots, I'm awesome at-"

It was the last item on the list that made Jake's face go red and he shot his hand out to cover her mouth because he knew the list was only going to get more vulgar from there and they did not need that. No one needed that.

"Okay, I think it's time for drunk Amy to stop talking now," he chuckled nervously with his hand over her mouth to keep it shut.

He let out a yelp two seconds later as he pulled his hand back. "Dude, did you just bite me?!"

Rosa let out a genuine laugh for the first time that night, and he knew nothing good could follow.

"Alright, if PDA Amy is also the one who shares embarrassing or funny sex secrets that I can use for future blackmail then I think I can stomach her."

Jake wasn't exactly known for being discrete about his sexcapades to his coworkers over the years, but his openness about sex stories began and ended with casual sex. Weird sex with Medical Examiners that are a little too into dead bodies were the type of stories he never had a problem sharing if anyone would listen to him. He had no problem talking about hookups of the flinging nature. Talking about specifics when it came to sex he was having with the woman he was dating at the time was something he was so not comfortable discussing with the people he worked with. Current serious relationship stories were ones he never told. Not just in this case when it was Santiago talking to their mutual coworkers. Sophia was the last serious relationship he had before Amy, and he never went into details about sex stuff. And the next serious relationship going down the line ended three years before he even met Sophia, and no one at work ever ended up meeting Jesse, and he still didn't talk about it.

Kinky casual sex conversations- he was good with that. Kinky committed sex conversations- not at all, that was the stuff that made his whole face go red if it was brought up.

And yes, Jake and Amy had been dating over a year so of course it wasn't news to anyone they had sex like all the time. But four-drink Amy broadcasting their sex life was something their coworkers definitely did not need to hear. Especially Charles. Charles bringing his creepiness about their relationship to a sexual level was a recurring nightmare of his.

There wasn't a graceful way for them to exit the situation, but he and loose lipped Amy definitely had to get out of there. Especially since his face was on fire and he didn't even have the excuse of alcohol flushing his face cause he was the designated driver that night. But he could not stay at that table a moment longer so his exit strategy was leaving Charles and Rosa to drink in silence and giving them a $20 for a cab ride home.

He didn't have anything in mind to say to initiate this plan, so he ended up going with the most transparent excuse in the world.

"Would you look at the time!" He exclaimed, looking at his bare wrist. "So late! Late o'clock. We'd better start heading home now."

He tried standing up, but Amy yanked him back down by his arm with a pout. "Oh, boo. Not going home yet. And I am the vault of secrets sexual stylez. What are you worried about? I'm the boozy vault of secrets," she bragged with a slight slur like that was an accomplishment that he should find comforting. "Still secure though. Intoxicated and inebriated but still secure. Like all those super spy safes with number passwords and voice lock."

"Ooo," her eyes lit up, " And one of those thumb print scanners too! Need the right thumb to open this vault of secrets. There's a sexual joke buried in there if anyone wants to go for it about thumbs and clits. Or something about open vaults and open legs. There's a sexual innuendo in there that my head is too fuzzy to put together right now. If anyone wants to help me out. Jake, tag in for the sexual jokes!" She said and smacked his shoulder like a tag team wrestler duo.

"Ow, that actually hurt," he whined, rubbing the spot where she hit him.

All of this was of course made a thousand times worse when he noticed that Diaz and Boyle were both laughing ridiculously hard at his expense. He was left shaking his head in defeat cause there was no stopping it now- everyone at work would be talking about this tomorrow. No point in leaving anymore since Amy already provided them with enough juicy details to fuel the precinct's office gossip for the next month at least.

"You never would have guessed that of the two of us, she's the reason we can't go to nice places," Jake said with a thumb hooked back over his shoulder at his boozy vault of secrets girlfriend that was gonna wake up with a killer hangover tomorrow morning.

For now though, she was smiling all giddy with shining eyes and he couldn't even manage to be a little bit annoyed when she looked that happy.

They were both going to get teased tomorrow, no doubt about it. And Amy would probably be upset and ask him why he didn't stop her from saying something so stupid.

Yeah, with a killer hang over she definitely won't be happy when Gina would post some of her quotes on twitter the next day. But this was pretty much life now. Hassling from friends whenever something particularly note worthy or embarrassing happened and getting the lighthearted ribbing that still made him groan even though he knew it was the older sibling type of teasing from their super strange nine nine family. That wouldn't stop him from groaning and banging his head on the desk when they dished out the ribbing tomorrow.

Amy will definitely be doing the same, regretting every word she said as overconfident perverted mixed drink Amy.

But that was tomorrow. Tonight she was grinning with sparkling eyes and flushed cheeks, having fun with their friends as per the usual drinking celebrations between the four of them. Now, Amy was smiling so wide and that was all that mattered. He liked her all smiley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter of Finally, amirite?  
> Thank you so much for the support and patience.  
> This chapter sprung forth from a request someone left in a review of ch 27 on fanfiction.net damn near 9 months ago asking to see more of the nine nine and especially Charles and his commentary on their relationship, so tada!
> 
> Sorry this update took so long. My bad?  
> Thanks for the kudos and comments. I hope you all have a good day!


End file.
